Scribblcs​:

Sufjan Stevens | Fourth of July April Base Version

colemontgomeryx​:

Cole’s arms went slack and the VHS tape clattered to the ground. His jaw dropped and he was sure he looked like a cheesy cartoon character. He couldn’t believe he was having another vision, like what happened at the graveyard last week. Only, this time, he knew he had come to the Richards’ house. If nothing else, the VHS was evidence of that. And, besides, if this was a vision– why would Adam be apologizing for leaving him? As if he had a choice?

If this was a vision, Cole knew it would quickly turn dark– he’d watch Adam die, again– so he should just turn around and leave. But Cole couldn’t resist just a few more moments together, one last kiss, even if it was fake. So he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Adam’s torso. Burying his face in Adam’s chest, Cole’s tears pooling against the other’s t-shirt. He squeezed his teary eyes shut and waited for the dark eyes, the “I’m sorry,” the body bursting into flames…

Only, it didn’t. Cole’s death grip around Adam loosened and he peered up at the familiar face. Everything was the same: same lips, same nose, same eyes– though they looked sadder. What if this was real? He searched his lover’s eyes, looking for answers. If this was real, what did he mean he left? Cole had seen his body, had gone to the funeral, had grieved the death of the only person he could ever love for three years. What kind of sick joke could this be? Cole untangled his hand to swipe at his face and finally choked out: “Are you really real?” 

Adam braced himself, fully prepared for Cole to yell at him. He deserved it. Ever since they got serious, once Adam knew that Cole was it for him, they had planned on running away together. Hawkins was too small to contain a relationship like theirs - they deserved to go somewhere where no one knew them, where no one could judge them for being together. And Adam just left him. Regardless of how Adam came to be in that commune, whether it was his intention or not, he still left Cole behind. 

But the yelling never came. Instead, Cole threw himself into Adam’s arms and it felt like maybe some of those jagged pieces inside him fit again. For the first time since he’d left the woods with Jack, Adam felt like something in his life made sense. 

Adam clung to Cole, burying his own face in his curls. He’d changed shampoos at some point, but it didn’t matter. Underneath it, he still smelled like Cole. Tears were freely falling down his face now, but Adam couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. He had no intention of letting go of Cole any time soon; not until Cole wanted him to. 

“Yeah, last time I checked,” Adam laughed wetly, crying still. “I’m so sorry.” He apologized again, holding Cole close to him. “I don’t... I don’t know what happened. They said I’ve been in some sort of commune or something?” Adam explained, shaking his head at the words. He didn’t really remember that - but what other explanation was there? “I didn’t mean to go, I don’t know why I did. None of it makes any sense. I promise I didn’t mean to leave you! I’m sorry.” 

chancecunningham​:

chance had undoubtedly come in hot with his questions, but he was at a loss. he’d been raised christian, which meant that to him, there had always been a clear line between good and evil. god and devil. it all used to be so black and white. but now…good people were doing terrible things. good people that he knew. people like adam. as his friend began to explain himself, chance clenched his jaw and did his best to listen.

“yo what do you mean?” chance asked as he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at adam, “like…you don’t remember anything? don’t remember yelling at cole to leave you alone and shit?” at the word ‘black out,’ he let out a scoff, “fucking christ, richards. you were drunk?” when adam shifted the focus to chance, he waved off his injury nonchalantly. “i’m fine,” the cut above his eyebrow had thankfully been the worst of it. 

chance wasn’t sure what he believed in anymore. he knew good and evil weren’t as black and white as he’d been raised to believe they, but he’d never considered that there was anything more powerful than god or the devil. but now…looking at adam…chance could see that he wasn’t lying. and this thing that had been possessing him…it felt more evil than the devil. “who put you guys up to this, adam? like…cause it wasn’t just you…i mean…heather halloway fucking lifted steve off the ground with her bare hands.” chance lifted both of his hands up like he was choking an invisible steve, “like…by the neck.” a beat. “it was like she wasn’t even human, man…like…” chance didn’t know what to think beyond that, so he just asked questions in circles. “you don’t know anything?”

Adam had distanced himself from the church a bit after he started dating Cole, but that didn’t mean that he’d stopped believing entirely. He had just worried about being part of a group that thought that what he felt for Cole was a sin. But Cole had known how much it mattered to Adam; he had shown him the research that he’d done on whether you could be both part of the church and gay. Not because Cole believed in any of it himself - he didn’t - but he knew that it mattered to Adam. And now, things were even more complicated than before. Because... how could someone who had strived their whole life to be good and do the right thing suddenly be capable of evil? What had Adam done to deserve this, or Jack for that matter? Was there even a Heaven or a Hell, and did Adam coming back mean that he didn’t deserve either? 

At the mention of what he’d done at the carnival, Adam flinched. Chance was upset, and he had a right to be. From the outside, Adam’s behavior made no sense and the things he had done were terrible. “No, I don’t,” He shook his head, distressed at the thought of yelling at Cole “I didn’t mean to.” Adam’s gaze snapped back up to Chance, eyes hardening at the implication that he’d been drunk that night. “I didn’t take or drink anything! I don’t know what happened, Chance! But I wasn’t drunk!” 

He wished he knew what had possessed them. Cole had called it the Mindflayer, but that meant nothing to Adam. He had never heard of anything like it, and he didn’t even know where to start looking into it. Research was more Cole’s area of expertise anyway. “I don’t know, Chance. Something... was controlling us, apparently.” Adam didn’t know how much it was okay to share with his best friend - did he tell him the whole truth or not? It wasn’t exactly something someone could just unknow once they’d heard it. Adam stared in shock at the image of Heather choking Steve and picking him up by the neck - he hadn’t heard that graphic detail yet. Jesus Christ. “I don’t know how we were suddenly super strong, or why she did that, man. I just know that I can’t remember it and apparently that’s how I was acting three years ago when... right before the forest commune thing happened.” Adam covered, not sure how Chance might take the news that he’d died. 

loverboymontgomery​:

Cole was certainly freaked out by what had happened at the lake. One minute, it felt like high school again– like they were just hanging out with friends at the lake. Then, whatever the fuck was going on reared its ugly head again, freaked Adam out again. That was the worst part to Cole. He desperately wanted Adam’s second chance at life– or re-entering into society, whatever– to be positive. He’d even settle for bearable.

When they’d come away from the shore, Cole had found refuge in the fire. It was starting to get chilly, and he felt like moping alone for a while. Let everyone else talk it out and theorize, but he wanted nothing to do with it. All he could think about was getting out of Hawkins. Clearly, he and Adam had no shot at a normal life here for a multitude of reasons. Their plan had always been to get away, what was stopping them now?

Cole tore his eyes away from the crackling fire as Adam sat down next to him. Despite everything, he smiled at his boyfriend. This felt familiar– the sensation that Adam was nearby but never too close so as to arouse suspicion. Finally, the point in the night where it was safe to be close again, even if they still had to be on guard. 

“Hey,” he echoed, taking the drink with a grateful smile. “It’s really not bad. Maybe I made it all up,” Cole confessed. “And you? Are you okay?” he looked Adam up and down for any sign of injury or distress. Whatever had happened, Adam had been right there, too. “No–” Cole protested quickly, “It’s okay. Really.” Then, quieter, he chanced: “Just… stay with me?” 

In the dark, Cole reached over and took Adam’s hand in his own. It was a risk, but he needed the reassurance. After a few moments of silence, words tumbled frantically out of Cole’s mouth: “What if we just got out of here? We could go anywhere, really, just… maybe it’s Hawkins, and it’s time go. Like we always said. Then all of this wouldn’t matter. I can fix everything.” Cole was embarrassed by his pleading tone.

Being co-host of the camping trip, Adam had had to spend awhile checking in on everyone else when they got back. A lot of theories were being thrown around, as well as stories from the cabin, but he wasn’t paying much attention to them. They sort of went over his head. He didn’t know what grabbed him and Cole, but it had felt stronger than algae. He couldn’t be sure, though. 

Cole drifting away from the others wasn’t surprising to Adam. He understood needing a minute after all of that, and it was starting to get a bit cold out here now that the sun had gone down. Without asking, he passed Cole one of the hoodies he’d brought with him in his duffle bag. If anyone noticed that Cole was wearing his clothes, Adam was kind of beyond caring. He’d do anything that Cole needed him to do right now. 

“You didn’t make it up,” Adam assured with sad eyes, hating that what had happened to them was real. If only it could have been some fucked up nightmare or something. “I’m fine,” He assured, giving Cole a small smile. Honestly, he was worried. But there were no physical marks on him, and he and Cole had both eventually made it to shore. Adam would be okay - this was just another weird thing to add to the list of awful stuff happening around him lately. “I’m not going anywhere.” Adam glanced around, checking to make sure no one was paying too much attention to them. Once he was sure they were safe, he squeezed Cole’s knee in reassurance. 

As Cole began begging him to leave with him, Adam’s heart ached. That had always been the plan, hadn’t it? But Adam had fucked it up somehow three years ago, leaving Cole alone to pick up the pieces. And as much as Adam wanted to go now, he thought about his mother. His dad. Beth, Cindy. He couldn’t just leave them again. He couldn’t run away this time. When he and Cole left, they deserved to know in advance. “Cole,” Adam began sadly, squeezing his hand. “Cole, I want that so bad. I want us to go to California like we planned. I want that.” He assured him, voice steady because someone had to be. “But I can’t leave my family right now. My mom...I don’t think she’s sleeping much, these days. My dad calls home to check and make sure I’m still here every few hours when he’s at work. My sisters didn’t stop crying for hours when I finally came back,” Adam rambled, running a hand through his hair. “I just can’t go right now. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” 

the theme that always resonates me the most in stories is “the world is cruel; therefore I won’t be.”

jofcreman​:

where: the richards residence

what: adam richards, watch your back.

who: @goldenboyrichards​ + jo.

following the incredibly awkward and horrifying talk the three foreman siblings had had in their basement, jo had wasted no time, grabbing her bag and booking it to where she remembered adam to live. her sister’s words rung in her ears, jack’s mortified face a constant image in the back of her head. ‘adam richards killed you?’ echoing through her skull, the source of a newly surfaced pounding migraine. ‘he said it would be ‘all over soon’.’ 

it was as if she couldn’t tell left from right, right from wrong anymore. she didn’t understand - but then again, maybe it wasn’t for her to understand. all that she knew for sure was that three years ago her brother had died. and now he was back from the dead, claiming that adam had killed him. god, she felt stupid. how she, for years, had discarded all the clues people called into the post pointing towards something supernatural happening in town. as it turned out, it was true - hawkins was cursed.

and jo felt posessed with rage and anger as she stormed up the stairs to the front door, knocking furiously. “adam richards!”, she called out between knocks, chest heaving. “you’ve got some fucking explaining to do, shitbird!”

Adam had gotten home from the hospital not long ago, assuring his mom that he was fine and that Cole and Chrissy were fine ( Chrissy hadn’t even been there, not that his mom cared ). In truth, Adam wasn’t doing so great right now, but he didn’t really think he had a reason to complain. After all, he’d been part of the people who had caused the destruction. He’d helped Billy, Melissa and Heather with the explosives, even if he hadn’t lit the match. Even if he had blacked out - it had been his body doing the task. 

The worst part was the not knowing. Not knowing when the blackouts might come back, not knowing what was causing them. Not knowing what he had done to deserve becoming this. 

He’d switched off shifts at the hospital with Beth, and Cindy was at a friend’s house, so there was no one to complain when he hogged the shower after his parents left to go grocery shopping. Adam smelled like smoke, sweat, alcohol, and antiseptic, a disgusting combination that he was ready to be rid of. He wasn’t sure he ever would be, though; the scent felt ingrained in his memory. Once he’d finally gotten out and thrown on a shirt and athletic shorts, he heard frantic knocking on the front door. 

Adam Richards. He knew that voice - one of Jack’s sisters. Shit, had something happened to Jack? Adam wrenched the door open, stepping back in case she reached up to knock on it again. “What happened?” He asked, looking to see if Jack or the other Foreman sister was with her too. “Is Jack okay? Did he throw up the black stuff again?” Was Jack in danger? Adam was worried about his best friend, worried that maybe he had blacked out again and done something crazy. 

loverboymontgomery​:

Of course Cole wasn’t okay. How could he be? His broken rib was nothing compared to the way his heart was splintering and cracking with every tear Adam shed. Losing him had been the worst pain Cole had ever felt, but sitting next to him and watching him break was a close second. The confusion and fear in Adam’s eyes, while expected and completely understandable, made Cole want to take it all back– say it was just a joke– beg for forgiveness. 

But now, Cole couldn’t avoid it. He couldn’t avoid the truth, and Adam wasn’t going to let him avoid his feelings. Since Adam came back, Cole felt like he was walking around with a bomb strapped to his chest– like it was only a matter of time before he’d be destroyed again. As if he hadn’t cried enough, Cole’s eyes welled up in response to Adam’s urgent tone, the way he was peering into his soul.

“No,” he choked out, wrapping Adam’s hand into both of his. “I thought I was going to lose you again.” Cole’s voice was barely above a whisper, and his hot tears fell onto their hands. Saying it out loud took Cole back to that place– the moment at the carnival when Adam started acting different. The terror in his chest at the thought of attending another funeral for the love of his life. Cole didn’t realize he was having trouble breathing until he felt Adam’s hands on his shoulders, willing Cole’s chest to stop constricting. “I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life. I can’t do this– life– without you… that’s the truth,” he lifted his gaze to Adam’s face and squeezed Adam’s hand tight, as if a tight enough grip would save him.

They shared a contemplative silence, and Adam finally moved closer to Cole. Relieved, he shifted his legs over to give Adam space to occupy, a way to feel his closeness. Cole’s chest felt heavy in an entirely different way than his head; he knew loving someone this completely was the greatest risk he could take. He always knew it would hurt somehow, but never anticipated this– the way his entire life lost meaning when Adam died. The way he didn’t feel like himself, much less like a person, without Adam Richards to look at him with a knowing smile or wrap him up in a hug or laugh at jokes that went over his head. 

As Adam wiped away Cole’s tears, Cole leaned his head against the other’s hand, held him there for a second. He knew with more certainty than he knew anything else that if, when he met Adam Richards for the first time, he could see the future– all the love and all the pain– he would choose him again. 

When Adam started crying, processing the information Cole had dumped on him, Cole instinctively pulled him closer and rubbed circles in his back. He hated that there was nothing he could say to make this better; he hated feeling powerless to help. At Adam’s question, Cole met his eyes and nodded once, confirming Adam’s fears. Cole carded his fingers through Adam’s hair as the other cried into his shoulder. “You won’t. I won’t let anything bad happen,” Cole whispered into his boyfriend’s hair. 

Cole’s stomach dropped; the one thing he wanted to keep from Adam, the moment he wanted to take to the grave, had somehow resurfaced in his memory. For a beat, he considered denying it, but he’d never been able to lie to Adam. Adam always knew. Cole’s hold on Adam tensed and he pressed his lips to Adam’s temple a few times. “I know, baby,” he murmured, “That was before. Right before you died… I know it wasn’t you.” Cole’s eyes welled up at what Adam was saying. “You stopped it from hurting me. You stopped it.”

Gently, Cole cupped Adam’s face and angled him up, so Cole could see him. He couldn’t stop the smile pushing up his lips when Adam called him Walden. In Adam’s eyes, all of Cole’s fear melted into tenderness and he felt his body relax. It was going to be okay. They would get through it together. “I know you do. And I love you more than anything, Adam Richards. I’ll love you forever.” 

Adam had spent his entire life trying to be good and kind and helpful. He tried to be the perfect son, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect Catholic, the perfect teammates - just perfect. He had made starting quarterback as a sophomore, and that came with expectations and pressure from the town, from his coaches, from his teammates, from everyone. Adam had always done his best to live up to the image that had been created of him after his picture had been in the paper after the first football game he’d helped the Tigers win years ago. 

But somewhere along the way, he must have done something wrong, something worth damning him to being a weapon for someone else. Adam wasn’t allowed to feel sorry for himself, though, not when he was the one doing the hurting. Those who were guilty didn’t deserve pity - the lives they had destroyed did. Five people were dead and countless were hurt, and the forest commune were the cause even if they hadn’t meant to be. Adam shouldered the guilt of what they had done, adding it to all the weight he carried there already. He was a modern day Atlas, it was so deep in his DNA that Adam was afraid he couldn’t stop if he tried. 

But hearing Cole admit he wasn’t okay? That was the hardest thing he had ever listened to. If Adam hadn’t already been crying, that would have made him start. He had always cried when Cole cried, devastated by seeing the scars Cole still bared from losing Adam three years ago. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” He told him. The moment Cole’s breathing starting getting uneven, Adam immediately squeezed his hand to try to reassure him. He felt powerless watching Cole right now; seeing how deeply affected he was by the thought of Adam dying again. “I know,” Adam cried, wiping his tears with the back of his free hand. His heart broke for Cole, because Adam couldn’t promise that he would be okay. He couldn’t swear to still be here with the dust settled. Because if he had learned anything from the last few hours, it was that he had no control over his own life anymore. 

As Adam shifted closer to Cole, he sat in stiff silence. His death had shaped Cole so much more than Adam even realized before now. Of course he knew Cole had missed him - obviously, he did. But the fact that Cole couldn’t live without him? It felt like someone had taken Adam’s heart in their hands, wrapping it tightly in their fists and squeezed it until it stopped beating all together. Cole had to be okay without him; not because Adam planned on dying or leaving any time soon, but because it would kill Adam to know that if something did happen to him, Cole wouldn’t be able to keep going. Adam needed him to, because if anyone deserved a happy, loving life, it was Cole Montgomery. Adam wanted him to find a job he loved, buy a house somewhere pretty and warm, just like they had always talked about. He wanted him to find someone who could make Cole just as happy as Adam did. If Adam couldn’t grow old with Cole, he wanted someone else who would treat him perfectly to get that experience, because Cole deserved a happy ending.

 And as much as Adam wanted it to be him beside Cole, holding Cole’s hand on a porch while they talked to their grandkids, he couldn’t promise him that. Not right now. 

As Cole leaned into Adam’s touch, the grip on Adam’s heart gave one final squeeze. No one in the world deserved the love Cole Montgomery gave to him, that he’d given him since they were in high school. Tears fell from Adam’s eyes as he thought about how much good Cole had done for Adam over the years. If they had never met, Adam didn’t know who he would have even become. Every part of his life had been shaped by Cole Montgomery, and he knew Cole felt the same. 

He cried harder at the love he felt from Cole rubbing his back, thinking about how much he didn’t want to lose this. If he had to, he didn’t want Cole to be alone and broken without him, but... at the end of the day, Adam was still so young. There were so many things he’d never gotten to do. Dying at nineteen meant that he’d lost so much, and maybe coming back now was a blessing. Adam just wished it didn’t come with the condition that he might black out at any time and become a monster hellbent on hurting others. “You can’t control this,” Adam said tearfully, shaking his head at Cole insisting he wouldn’t let anything happen to Adam. 

Adam cried as Cole confirmed that it had happened, that Adam had been horrible to Cole right before he died. He had nearly killed him - he might have, if he hadn’t momentarily been able to stop himself. He pulled Cole closer, tucking his face into the space between Cole’s neck and shoulder. “But what if I can’t again? What if I’m not strong enough? Cole, I don’t want this,” Adam gasped, shoulders shaking from the sobs racking his body. “I don’t want to do this, be this. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially you.”

Adam couldn’t control this any more than Cole could. Neither of them could guarantee that this wouldn’t end in tears, with one or both of them dead. But for a moment, Adam let himself believe that maybe they could face anything as long as they were together. Maybe they could figure this out, stop whatever was controlling Adam. Maybe it would be alright in the end. “I’ll love you forever too, Cole Montgomery,” Adam whispered, kissing Cole’s cheek feather light, so gently he couldn’t possibly hurt any bruising there. 

new kind of guy who just really likes the first 30 minutes to an hour of horror movies thats just people doing regular things and turns it off as soon as the horror part starts to kick in

loverboymontgomery​:

Cole never could’ve imagined this– any of this– when Adam Richards had approached him to be his English tutor freshman year. He’d known who Adam was, of course, because everyone did. It was normal to have a crush on the hot and funny and sweet quarterback, as evidenced by the conversations he had with the cheerleaders, except for the fact that Cole was a boy, too. He’d made peace with it, figured it would pass when Adam graduated and Cole would hear about his engagement to Chrissy Cunningham one day from some nosy mom in the Melvald’s checkout line. That was how things were supposed to be. But then, one night in February after a few hours of studying for an English test, Adam had kissed Cole.

Everything changed that day, and Adam quickly became the subject of all of Cole’s thoughts. They were inseparable for three years, and those were easily the best three years of Cole’s life. In every way, Adam was Cole’s balance: where Cole was shut off and withdrawn, Adam was open and giving, where Cole was book smart, Adam was emotionally intelligent, where Cole was cautious, Adam was trusting. Cole wasn’t religious at all, but he truly believed they were meant to find each other, and he never hesitated to tell Adam as much. So when Adam died in the ‘freak accident’ just before they were going to run away together, Cole’s life halted. Since then, he’d felt like he was a ghost, moving through the motions of life despite being completely detached. He didn’t really care what happened to him, not if it was without Adam. And when Adam came back? It was supposed to be good, and easy, and they were supposed to move on. It was still good, Adam was still Adam, but it was impossible to ignore the reality of the situation: that Adam had died and come back, and there were side effects.

Still, it was worth it to try– to push it to the side for a few hours at least. When Adam offered to plan a date, Cole was elated. When he showed up at Cole’s door with their usual from Benny’s, Cole had wanted to cry. He had longed for this for so long. He’d gathered a few things in a bag of his own– his dusty copy of The Odyssey, a chapstick, his house key, a few rogue pens and highlighters, and at the very bottom of the bag, his flask. Just in case things went South, not that they would, he just didn’t really go anywhere without it these days. Cole left the bag on the floorboards of the passenger seat and climbed into the truck bed with Adam. Like it was the most natural thing in the world, Cole scooted closer to him and nestled into his chest, angling his face to the sky to look at the stars like they’d done dozens of times before. “Mhmm,” he hummed contentedly, smiling at the memory. “We were so worried someone would find us,” he chuckled. “Worth the risk.” All of it was worth the risk– Cole would always choose Adam, always. Cole shoved Adam away jokingly, “In my defense, what the fuck are jumper cables?” He laughed, though, unable to resist Adam with that grin. As they shifted and Adam leaned against Cole, he ran his fingers through the other’s hair gently. Everything about this felt so right, and Cole felt completely at peace. As Adam kissed his cheek, Cole caught his chin and lifted it so their lips met. “I love you,” he responded, feeling pressure building behind his eyelids. Not tonight, surely he could go one night without crying. “Thank you for this,” he said, kissing Adam’s forehead with a smile. 

Adam hadn’t known how much his life would change when he asked Cole Montgomery to be his English tutor. He thought they’d become friends maybe, if everything went well. He’d never imagined that they might end up here, together, after so many years. Dating Cole had been a wonderful, amazing surprise that had completely changed the entire trajectory of his life. Without that one kiss in February his sophomore year of high school, Adam would have never become the person he was today. Walden Cole Montgomery had never been part of his plan. But in the end, Adam was so fucking happy and grateful for the years they had had together. 

Dying had thrown a massive wrench into the life plans they had made together. Before whatever had happened to Adam during the summer of 1985, he was going to run away with Cole. They’d planned it all out - wait until Cole left for college in California, and then Adam would go with him. He’d turned down offers to play football at three different colleges, something his parents had thought he was insane for, in order to wait an extra year on Cole. And at the time, it had all seemed so worth it. They would get to be happy and themselves together in San Francisco, and that mattered more than being Mr. Quarterback at Purdue or Ball State. The fights with his dad didn’t matter - not if it meant getting to be who he really was. And everything had been going according to plan that summer; everything had been perfect. Until... until whatever had happened to him. Adam wished he could just remember, that he knew why he’d done all of those things and why he had died.

But he probably never would get that closure. And maybe he would just have to learn to live with that. 

Right now, he was more concerned about whatever was going on with Cole. There was so much that Adam just didn’t know how to ask or how to talk about. How could he bring up his own death and it’s affect on Cole? How could he ask about the extra drinks he’d seen him having lately and why he felt like he needed them? Adam wanted to understand, he wanted to be there for Cole. But he also wished that things could just be simple, like they used to be. That for five minutes, he could forget about dying and the way it had hurt everyone around him. So, he wrapped an arm around Cole, laughing into his curls at the mention of being scared of getting caught. “I know, I drove down the road with the headlights completely turned off. We’re lucky I didn’t hit a tree,” He murmured. Back then, their biggest fear had been the wrong people finding out. It was almost laughable now. “Spending time with you was always worth the risk,” Adam agreed immediately. “Being alone with you was always the best part of my day.” He had needed that alone time away from the prying eyes of their classmates or families. Chrissy and Beth had known, of course, but they’d needed to hide from everyone else. Getting to drop the act of being straight and just be himself with Cole had always been such a relief. 

As Cole shoved him, Adam chuckled, grabbing his wrists and tugging him closer to kiss him once. “You’re hopeless,” He teased, laughing against Cole’s lips, pressing his own more firmly against them again. “How would you jump start your car without me around? What happens if I can’t come help you out? You need to learn some basic mechanics, baby.” As Cole began to play with his hair, Adam sighed, feeling more relaxed than he had the entire time he’d been back. This was perfect. Tonight was perfect. His relationship with Cole Montgomery was perfect, even if there were cracks in it. Nothing was broken that couldn’t be repaired with some glue, some love and attention. As Cole pulled him back in for a gentle kiss, Adam felt his face warm at the softness of him kissing his forehead. “Any time.” Adam replied, pulling Cole closer to him so that Cole was laying back on his chest again. “Are you okay?” He asked him softly, not wanting to break the wordless agreement of keeping things lighter between them, but also needing to know. “You know I’m here for you, right? I always will be.” 

Maybe that wasn’t true. Maybe that was a promise Adam couldn’t make Cole, but he wanted it to be true, and that had to count for something, right?