Don't You Just Love It When You Start Doubting Everything Just Because Your Abuser Got You Christmas

Oh to Have Certainty

The only thing that feels worse to me than realizing that abuse has occurred is the doubt. Maybe it wasn’t as bad as I thought. Is it actually over now or is it just less frequent and less obvious because of other people in the house? Would it have been better if I’d behaved better?

you know the drill, op disabled reblogs etc etc etc

Is "irrational" anger a trauma response?

I only feel like it might be because I'm always bothered when this person enters the room. I'm almost enraged when they try to speak to me, more often than not. I try to keep it to myself only because I know I would look utterly insane otherwise.

It's almost like I've gaslit myself into thinking I've been overly dramatic this whole time and nothing they ever did was so terrible. Then, I feel guilty for being mad at them, even though I look back in it and see how much it affected me or how badly my younger self wanted to leave and cut contact.

I almost feel like I'm losing my mind just thinking about this.

Sleeping under the mattress?

Did any other neurodivergent kids do this? I can’t be the only one. 

I don't want to be a productive member of society. I want to make my art, play my games, and rest. Every little thing overwhelms me.

Having to get up everyday and maintain my body is exhausting.

Maintaining relationships is exhausting.

Having to get up and work while looking presentable is exhausting.

I'm so tired of being demanded of anything and everything. And I know I probably won't be able to rest until I'm either old and senile or dead.

I didn't ask for this, yet here I am...Slowly rotting away. There's no time to truly enjoy life, work, and be both physically and mentally healthy simultaneously, for the majority of your time.

I just want to get out of here and find true joy.

Yes and now I have no work ethic and I work slow as hell :D

Gifted kid burnout? More like “you have undiagnosed adhd or autism (or both) and because you did well in school as a child no one knew there was anything going on and now school has become more challenging both content and structure-wise to the point where your normal methods for succeeding are no longer working and everyone around you just thinks you’re being lazy”

Quietly losing my mind over the fact that Elon Musk has straight up orchestrated a coup of our executive branch and like....I don't even know what, if any, system we have in place to fix this. Like... He's just taken control of the money and locked out the actual appointed officials. What the fuck.

When you consider that Stanley was the family disgrace, it makes more sense that they didn't mention him. He stole Stanford's identity for a reason

Highkey one of the funniest parts of Gravity Falls is how obnoxiously close they come to revealing Ford’s existence in the early seasons but never do out of just. Cosmic levels of dumb luck

Episode 1 Stan nearly catches Dipper with the journal and it’s passed off as a gag about Gold Chains for Old Men magazine. In Time Travellers Pig they go back to the Shack 30 years in the past and miss Ford opening the door on them by literal seconds. In bottomless pit Mabel gives him a set of truth teeth that make him incapable of lying and he tells the twins TO THEIR FACES that he regularly commits massive tax fraud and if they had asked him to elaborate he would’ve told them who he was impersonating. In one of the shorts Dipper and Soos find a sentient omniscient mailbox that will answer any question in the universe, and right before they can ask it who wrote the journals Mabel shows it a video of herself snorting gummy worms and it kills itself out of disgust. The entirety of Dreamscaperers is them delving into the depths of Stan’s psyche, going through his memories, all while fighting his brother’s ex-boyfriend and it somehow just. Doesn’t come up. Bill never mentions him. Their grandpa Shermie never said anything. Their parents never said anything. Either the universe was conspiring to cover it up or they are genuinely all that oblivious

i made tumblr pride flags! feel free to ask or more edits

Tw: vent

Im going to scream. I hate the beginning of relationships. I want to skip to the middle. I want to be able to sit in silence with each other or not talk for a few days and still pick up where we left off.

I hope I make it to that point in this relationship since it's my first on but I keep messing up. I'm always the one who messes up and has to apologize.

I sent a fucking poem, deleted like three times and then sent it again. I'm going to fucking scream. He told me not to send it if I'm just going to delete it and we're both adults. I'm fucking embarrassed. Why did I think it was a good idea?

It was hours ago and he hasn't responded. I'm literally crying over this. Why can't I be normal? Why can't I've a good partner? Why are relationships hard? I want to scream.

We were already having issues because of me and I just continue to screw up and make things worse. What if he thinks I'm ignoring him? I'm 99% sure he's going to get sick of my bullshit and be done with me any minute. He's forgiven me so many time already.

Am I even cut out for relationships this point? Am I sabotaging myself subconsciously? I don't even know and I can't go to therapy because its expensive.