Reid : There's Nothing Worse Than Someone Using Big Words That They Don't Understand Just To Look Smart.

Therapist, on a meeting with Reid : And what do we do when we are sad ?

Reid : Get a new PhD.

Therapist : No-

Morgan : Flirt with cute girls.

Therapist : ...What ? Wait, where did you come from ?

Garcia : Buy way too much cute stuff to forget.

Hotch : Work way too much.

Rossi : Hyper focus and be paranoid about killers.

Therapist, clearly not ready for this, or for people popping out of nowhere : Wait-

Emily : Fake death while getting high.

JJ : Close up and be completely silent.

Therapist :

Therapist, throwing their files on the ground : ...Nope. I quit.

Garcia, aggressively throwing bottles at the team : HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

Morgan : What's up with her ?

Garcia : I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU, YOU ALL DESERVE LOVE

JJ : She's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Reid, crying : ᴵᵗ'ˢ ʷᵒʳᵏᶦⁿᵍ

Rossi : If we put Reid and Emily in a room, who would come out crying first ?

Hotch : The room.

Garcia : I'm not delusional, I'm simply manifesting my own reality

JJ : Why is Morgan hiding in my office ?

Reid : He broke his spaghetti before putting them in the water.

JJ : ..And ?

Reid : He did it in front of Rossi.

Rossi, bursting into JJ's office : COME HERE STRONZETTO-

Morgan : screams sharply and terrified

Emily : I'm so upset.

Morgan : Why what happened ?

Emily, raising her index menacingly towards him : Shut the fuck up, fuck you.

Morgan : Okay girl, you stay upset, actually I hope your day gets worse !

Emily, walking in the meeting room : Hi everyone

No answer

Emily : Guys ??

Penelope : We can't hear dead people.

Everyone : nods

Emily : You guys are so dramatic it was ONE TIME

Hotch, sighing : Why is Morgan crying in the corner ?

Emily : I told him Santa wasn't real.

Garcia, popping her head from her office : SANTA IS WHAT ?!

Emily : Once my baby was being annoying so I put it in the basement.

Emily : Then I forgot about it and decided that I didn't want a basement anymore, so I got rid of the door and decided that I will do the rest later. When child protective services came, they couldn't go in the basement, so they just chilled around in my house.

Therapist :

JJ, facepalm : She's talking about the Sims, please don't call the police.

Garcia, trying to stop the unsub : Killing someone is really weird, like no one will like you if you do that