I'm Eating It

I GOT SO SCARED THIS WAS REAL FOR A MOMENT BEFORE READING THE USER

Weird Al died.

HE HAVETH THE TOT

Tater Tots are better than French Fries and I will not be taking any counter arguments

Man, Jesus really smoked that grave

For a single man who is definitely NOT old enough to marry, I think about proposals far too much-

Like, I have a vast multitude of proposal ideas depending on how much money I might have at the time, if my partner would be more of the type to prefer a private or public proposal, if my partner would want to know beforehand or be surprised, what they might like/dislike, etc.

I've also got the ideas of what I'd want if I were the one proposed to lined up in my head as well: I'd want a total surprise, and I'd probably want a public one (Firstly, I have 0 social fear, secondly, I love grand, shout-it-to-the-world type gestures, and thirdly, I date with intention to marry so there wouldn't be any public pressure to say yes, and even if I did want to say no, a crowd would not stop me). I'd at least want my closest people to be there- (If my partner were not comfortable with a public proposal, that'd be completely okay too)

I've even thought about other people's proposals and how I'd be more than willing to help if needed. I don't talk about it much here, but I do photography, so it'll probably become a pretty common sight for me to have a high-dollar really good camera with me when I'm with friends/in a pretty place. Meaning it will arouse 0 suspicion if I have one if someone is planning a secret proposal.

Idk, I just like love, even if it's not my own

Some needs to do it omg

You know what, Link WOULD be a very good butt-scooter.

One of the most memorable dreams I ever had was when my family and I stopped at a hotel to spend the night on our trip to Kiawah Island. In the hotel room, I dreamt I was racing in Mario Kart 8 except everyone was not on karts and instead racing those nostalgic butt scooters from elementary school PE class.

For whatever reason I had this extreme rivalry with Link because Link was the absolute greatest butt scooter racer in all of Mario Kart. Link and I were half a lap ahead of everyone near the end of the race. I was frustrated but I tried my absolute best. When we were about to cross the finish line, I used up every last bit of energy I had and managed to beat Link. When I finished 1st, I yelled

“FUCK YES!”

so goddamn loudly that I ended up shouting it in real life, immediately waking everyone in my family up including myself. Everyone was wondering what the hell happened and I had to explain this very dream I just had to them.

PLEASE

donald trump will die on july 20th 2025 at 1pm pacific standard time

If you could insert a single bad word/replace any word with a bad word anywhere into Epic, where would you do it and what word would it be? One of my personal favorite options is:

"You are playing with thunder

For a man full of shit"

Me after catching a mouse with my bare hands at the ripe age of 12:

Hand in mouse-bitten hand

Don't forget your zip code map when coming up with fake zip codes! All US zip codes will start with one of these numbers

Remember: the more difficult you make it for them to realize a report is false, the more useless you make the portal.