Tonight I Broke My Diet And I Ended Up Purging. I Feel Numb And Empty. I Haven't Purged Since I Was 19

Went for a morning walk and while drinking some pumpkin spice low cal coffee and then I had some pumpkin chai tea with a freind. I guess today I was craving something sweet (which I always crave) . The world was so still and quiet waking up this chill morning and it's nice and grey outside too. I wish it were more gloomy but it's not.

Blueberry tea with splenda 0 calorie treat and bubble gum

16 pieces of wheatthins plain 140

1 smart kettle corn popcorn 100

240 calorie snack

24 Oz cup of decaf lipton tea - 2 tea bags, 8 splendas and zero sugar coffee creamer

16oz water

I feel like a fat pig. My ex just confirmed that he eats 350-500 to 1000 calories perday and he's so skinny and beautiful. I NEED to catch up and get better at loosing weight. I don't want to be the fat freind. It wil be so worth the hunger when I get to wear cute clothes and have smaller boobs

Ugh... I have to be honest I ended up binging on fast food 🙃. I ate a whole pizza and some cinnamon sticks and I feel like such a fat cow. Oh well tommrow I will be be fasting the whole day to make up for it.

God I fucking suck.... stupid bitch why did you have to give In? Did I really need that fucking slice of pizza? No the fuck I didn't.