Ivy House, Greenwich, Connecticut
photo via melissa
I loved you, I always will,
and that’s the problem
because the sad reality is
that I’ll love you way more
than I will ever love myself..
MSI
<If Only>
being in yr 20s is abt experiencing the worst thing you can imagine & then having to go to the grocery store
Maybe forever wasn’t for us,
perhaps what we have right now
is all we’re meant to have...
is that so bad?
Let’s live forever right now,
love like there will be no tomorrow.
All we really need is right now.
MSI
<Right Now>
25 May 4:25 am
I have sat here and typed and retyped but nothing comes out that can express the feeling, the only way I can think of is asking the question... When will it pass?
When will I stop picking up the phone to call you only to remember that where you are you cannot receive calls? When will I be excited and not have the instant thought to share it with you knowing that I can't? When will I be able to go to sleep without wishing I did so knowing you were one of the people I spoke to in my day? When does it end? When does this loop end? I am tired. Please stop this feeling because it hurts too much.
I finally got it
I finally understand what everybody meant
when they would tell me that one day
I would fall in love
and I would understand what it was like
to be blatantly lost in someone.
I think it comes out of nowhere.
We don’t expect it,
it’s just there, one day
we realize that one person
can change our happiness
whether it be for the better
or for the worse
and we trust that they won’t hurt us
we just put blind trust
even though we never really know
but we don’t really care.
I think we do it for the momentary happiness
that might last a while,
maybe even forever
but we’re always slightly afraid that it will end
and we’ll go back to how we were before..
Strangers
but in the end we’re not really strangers
anymore...
MSI
<Please Don’t Break Me>
I remember those five songs I shared with you,
the ones that showed how broken I was and
as we sat on your car staring at the navy blue sky,
the color it usually was at 3am,
I knew you understood
and I don’t think anyone ever will again...
MSI
<My Favorite Playlist is Filled With The Songs You Shared>
the intimacy of “how did you know that?” “because i know you”
― Andrei Tarkovsky, from Sculpting in Time
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