Grieving - Blog Posts

Today is hard and horrible; my wounds gaping and sore. Every moment brings another knife of memory from before.

Anger pulses through me followed by crippling sadness. I feel nothing but my own craving for madness.

I'd give anything, everything, just to go back; just to wake up hung over after New Years again.

I would do so much different, and so much the same, but in the end my only goal would be to save you.

You: passionate, loyal, brave and kind. Cursed and playful with a magnificent mind.

It's almost been two months and I still cannot see how there is any possibility that you gave up on me.

So I just found out that my all time favourite webcomic ( which was discontinued like a year ago ) got taken off by the creator and I was like the ONLY person in existence who read it apparently cause now it’s lost media. Fml bro

Oh Grammy this breaks my heart. You were the sweetest around and had such an amazing heart. I know you couldn't live forever but I hate that cancer took you sooner. I'm grateful you got to see us get married last year and lucky to have even known my great grandma. I wish you could have stayed around a bit longer to see me get my college degree and to see me become a mom. Rest in peace 💔

She seemed intoxicated, only rather by exhaustion, than by whatever laced the cigarettes she'd rolled up that morning. One was just about to go out between her fingers. I took it from her, inhaled it back to life before tossing it onto the ground. It was weed, at least a third of it, tho the filters she used mellowed the taste.  She looked at the bud somewhat saddened. 'Seventeen', she said, drawing a little x in the air with her finger. That was way too many, but she'd been cutting back admirably for weeks, and today was a rough day.  I sighed. I swear, I thought, as who knows how many times before, if one more beloved soul leaves this wretched earth before mine, I'll cease.  I looked at her then. Knowing I could never intentionally leave her behind, I sighed again, took a seat & lit me one of hers. Enough time to be responsible tomorrow..