Journal Entry #1 | 07 Aug 2024
Journal Entry #1 | 07 Aug 2024
I feel like up until now I have been so confused about what I wanted to do with my life but I feel like I finally know. I know what I want to do. Maybe I am not in the right track to get there yet but I will be and it will all be amazing and life will look up. I will do whatever it takes for me to get there. I know what I have to do to get where I need to be. I just need to actually push myself to do it and I will because I am so excited to meet my goal and be where I need to be. I have to there is no more room for errors like the ones that I made recently.
More Posts from Alloftheunsaid and Others
— Sylvia Plath, quoting an acquaintance in ‘The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath’
The Daily News and The Independent, Santa Barbara, California, November 12, 1918
the intimacy of “how did you know that?” “because i know you”
― Andrei Tarkovsky, from Sculpting in Time
i am afraid of loss
i used to think i was afraid of dying but in actuality i am afraid of death and loss. i am afraid the idea of no longer existing whether it’s me or my family, i want no one to die but we also can’t live forever, the future scares me and i have no answers but i still can’t help but dwell in it, the idea of no longer being alive… i’m scared, please help
Daily quote,lol
♡ 18+ aesthetic blog ♡
No one talks about leaving,
Realizing one day, a day you woke up feeling as if it was going to be any other day, that you no longer love the person the same. The small things you once loved that they put so much effort to go unnoticed. How is it that you woke up and realized you were okay living without them when one day you feared losing them. I think it hurts too, having to tell the person you never planned on being without that things are just not the same and when they ask why, what is there to say? "I woke up on a seemingly normal Wednesday and I realized that you no longer made me feel those puke-worthy butterflies. That I knew I would be okay without you." How do you put that feeling into words? I don't think I will ever be able to give you the answer you deserve and for that I'm Sorry...
You asked,
What is the scariest part?
I answer;
the scariest part is not the feeling of loneliness
or the darkness that fills you
despite the looming pain
of emptiness
The scariest part
is the realization
that you have lost yourself
completely
sinking in as you lay awake
At 2am
because you lost the ability to sleep
and you can’t even cry
because you don’t even care.
A.D.H
25 May 4:25 am
I have sat here and typed and retyped but nothing comes out that can express the feeling, the only way I can think of is asking the question... When will it pass?
When will I stop picking up the phone to call you only to remember that where you are you cannot receive calls? When will I be excited and not have the instant thought to share it with you knowing that I can't? When will I be able to go to sleep without wishing I did so knowing you were one of the people I spoke to in my day? When does it end? When does this loop end? I am tired. Please stop this feeling because it hurts too much.
