"You Wanna Gobble Me Up, Grady?" -11/15

"Did you know Steven Hawking was on Epstien's Island?"

"Of course I know, I was there, I saw him. I also enjoy naked midgets trying to solve math problems on tall chalkboards" -1/9

"You should wear little booty shorts to your cross country meet," -10/9

"When he was in England, he had to sword-fight some dude for looking at his ass" -11/14

"Im a stripper, Im a hot stripper, I mean look at me?" - 8/17

"If you're in a public area, and you're shitting, I just can't finish, I'm too shy." - 12/12

"2008? So you weren't even a twinkle in you're father's eye?" -9/10

"What is this fascination with Ohio, it's an undeserved reputation" - 11/13

"Aesthetic Jews" - 12/8

"It looks like your doing an experiment on kids on oxygen." - 8/23

"My gums feel weird..."-10/8