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I am scared .
I am a young queer girl.
I don’t have much of a community, only two people who are also LGBT+ and three or four more who are even slightly liberal. Only the former know I actually am panromantic.
I long to be in the sun, to know in the future I could have a girlfriend, or even just be open, but that longing makes me cautious.
I feel I must temper my argumentative side, make myself likable, and yet still try to hold all those around me accountable and challenge their preconceived notions. I want, when they think back on me, them not to feel revilement or fear I may have been deceiving them. I try to compliment all the other girls in my grade but I fear if I truly say how aesthetically beautiful I feel they all are, they will look back and see me as perverse or fear I had a crush on them and not understand I see them as beautiful in the same way I see the mountains and the trees. Rather than understanding I had hoped for them to see themselves as an innately beautiful part of the beautiful universe or even just to slightly improve their abysmal self esteem, they might look back and see “corruption” in my words.
I don’t know why I even fear it.
I fear how I see those around me not understand the necessity of queer rights and one of my own best friends wrinkling her nose in disgust every time a queer character even appears.
I feel helpless to explain how the eradication of trans rights in not only a sign of the tragic repeating of history to come but isolated from that simply a slap in the face, more harmful to my community and to feminism than I can properly articulate.
I feel like I’m drowning when I check the comments on a video of an explaination of the difference between WGM and GM in chess. Dread haunts like the reaper as I see the large number of replies, each with people claiming the very existence of the WGM title is either unnecessary or proves how women are inherently inferior at chess, lacking any nuance on history.
I dispare as the community online I am forced to view from afar, sipping and skimming, attempts to repeat the same patterns that threaten to or try to rip our spaces in half.
I am wrecked with terror at the prospect of not being able to escape for college to another country. Gnashing at my heels as I run from the disintegration of my country is the fear that every place I look to is headed in the same direction, that no progress will ever truly be made as some proudly stuff cotton into their ears and put megaphones to their uninformed words.
I am young but I do not feel young. I fear I will never feel old and I fear what will become of me and my friends if I do reach past 55.
I am afraid
But even as the storms now wash away the footprints I follow, laborious, repeated efforts will carve a path into the dirt.
yk i think putting media in the ps5 was mankind’s best invention (i found out that exists yesterday and haven’t stopped using it)
Toji SMAU - When love was always there
Chapter 14 - Mufasa and Mixed Signals
Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.
warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying
an: If it‘s not too much to ask: PLEASE LEAVE MORE COMMENTS I‘M DYING TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS THINK AHHHHHHH!!!! If you have any other questions please don’t hesitate to send me messages. I love and appreciate you all. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋
{chapter 13} ; {next}
taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84 @stickystay
࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚
Toji SMAU - When love was always there
Chapter 13 - What comes after
Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.
warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying
an: sigh… i love him idc. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋
{chapter 12} ; {next}
taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie @clp-84
࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚
The drive to the location Toji sent you feels longer than it should. Maybe it’s because your mind is racing, or maybe it’s the late hour amplifying the stillness of the world outside. You pull into the dimly lit park, heart pounding, and spot him immediately—slouched on a bench, an empty whiskey bottle dangling precariously from his fingers. He looks utterly defeated, the sharp edges of his usual confidence dulled by whatever demons have led him here.
You step out of the car and approach cautiously. His head tilts slightly at the sound of your footsteps, but he doesn’t fully acknowledge you. Instead, he mumbles something incoherent, his words slurred.
“Toji.” Your voice is firm, sharper than you intended. “Get up. You’re coming with me. Your parents can‘t see you like this.“
He looks up at you with bleary eyes, his face flushed from alcohol. “Y-you came,” he slurs, his words tumbling over each other. “Missed you… swear I missed you. I’m sorry, okay? For everything. Just… I’m sorry.”
You don’t reply, don’t give him the satisfaction of even a hint of forgiveness right now. Instead, you focus on getting him upright, looping one of his heavy arms over your shoulders and guiding him to the car. His steps are unsteady, his weight pressing into you as he leans more than he should.
The entire drive back, he’s rambling. “You… you don’t get it,” he slurs, his head lolling back against the seat. “You think I’m just some… some asshole, huh? You hate me. I can’t… I hate me too, okay?” His words are fragmented but raw, the emotions behind them impossible to ignore.
You grip the steering wheel tighter, keeping your focus on the road. He keeps going, his voice breaking every now and then. “I never wanted to hurt you… never wanted to… God, you probably think I’m a piece of shit.”
You don’t respond. You just drive, his drunken words filling the silence.
When you finally reach your apartment, you manage to drag him inside. He’s heavier than he looks, and he isn’t exactly helping. As soon as you guide him into your room, he collapses onto your bed, sprawling across it like he owns the place.
“Toji, get up,” you say, exasperated.
“Nah,” he mutters, burying his face into your pillow. “This is… I’m good here.”
You roll your eyes, but there’s no real malice behind it. Instead, you sigh and kneel down, tugging his shoes off one by one. When you straighten up, his eyes are on you, glassy but sincere.
“You’re… too good,” he murmurs. “Too good for me. Always have been. Don’t deserve you… don’t deserve this.”
“Toji, just sleep,” you say, voice softer than before, despite your frustration.
He doesn’t listen. “I’m sorry,” he continues, his voice breaking. “For everything I said. For… all of it. You… you didn’t deserve that. Not you.”
Your chest tightens at his words, but you don’t respond. Instead, you awkwardly climb into bed beside him, keeping as much distance as possible.
“I mean it,” he mumbles, his voice barely above a whisper now. “You’re… you’re the only good thing. Always have been. I just… I ruin everything.”
Tears sting at your eyes, but you blink them away. “We’ll talk in the morning, Toji,” you whisper, your voice trembling.
He nods faintly, and before long, his breathing evens out. You lie awake for a while, your mind racing with everything he’s said.
When you wake, the sunlight streaming through the window, you’re wrapped in his arms. His grip is loose but firm enough to hold you in place. You tilt your head slightly, studying his face in the soft morning light. There’s a scar on his lip, jagged and slightly faded. It hits you, a memory he once let slip years ago—that his older brother, Jinichi, gave him that scar during a fight. What had struck you most then was how casually he’d mentioned it, as if it were normal.
The thought churns uneasily in your stomach. His parents never punished Jinichi for it, just like they never seemed to care about all the other ways they neglected him. No wonder he resented his family, always carrying that bitterness like a second skin.
You carefully extract yourself from his hold, slipping out of bed without waking him. After a quick trip to the kitchen, you return with a glass of water, some painkillers, and a simple breakfast.
To your surprise, he’s already awake when you walk in. He sits up slowly, rubbing his eyes, and you wordlessly hand him the plate.
“Thanks,” he mutters, his voice hoarse.
The two of you eat in silence, the tension in the room palpable.
When you finally break the quiet, your voice is steady but firm. “Do you want to talk about last night?”
He glances at you, then looks away, his fingers fidgeting with the edge of the blanket. “Yeah,” he says, barely audible.
You wait, giving him the space to speak.
“I’m sorry,” he finally says, his voice low. “For… everything. I ain’t good with this… this kinda shit, but… I know I fucked up. A lot.”
“You did,” you say, your voice soft but unyielding. “And I can’t just… pretend like everything’s okay now. You’ve hurt me, Toji. A lot more than you probably realize.”
He nods, still not meeting your eyes. “I know. And I ain’t expectin’ you to just… forgive me like that. But… I’m gonna make it right. However long it takes.”
You study him for a moment before nodding. “We can try… being friends. Maybe.”
His lips twitch into something that almost resembles a smile. “Yeah. Friends.”
Neither of you mentions the way you woke up tangled in each other’s arms.
As you clear the dishes, Toji sits back, lost in thought. In his mind, he recalls waking up in the middle of the night, your face illuminated by the moonlight. He remembers thinking how beautiful you looked, how peaceful.
Your full lips had been slightly parted as you slept, and his hand had rested lightly on your hip, almost as if it belonged there. He’d never noticed the softness of your skin before, but last night it had been impossible to ignore.
It hit him then, like a punch to the gut. You were… everything. Too good, too kind, too beautiful.
Toji SMAU - When love was always there
Chapter 12 - Ghosted and Guilty
Summary: You see him again on your first day of college. Fuck. Toji Zenin has been the bane of your existence since your first day of kindergarten. Over the 15 years you’ve had the “pleasure” of knowing him, he’s made it his personal mission to make your life a living hell. From chopping off your hair in kindergarten to pushing you into a pond on your first day of high school, Toji has done it all. You’d always thought he would choose a college far away from you, but as it has always been, fate came to kick your ass. Hard.
warnings: cursing, sexual language, mentions of bullying
an: pretend like it‘s different times. got lazy teehee. SMOOCHES 💋💋💋
{chapter 11} ; {next}
taglist: @jinxiewritings @actuallyvalerie
࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚 𝜗𝜚 ࣪˖ ִ𐙚
Toji SMAU - When love was always there
Their Social Media - Main Cast (Part 1)
an: I decided to make a separate post for all of their social media accounts! don’t be afraid to ask questions if you need clarification!! ( ˶ˆᗜˆ˵ )
TikTok has been down for like 12 hours and I can already see exactly how no other app is going to be able to offer what TikTok does. I always see the memes of oh when AO3 is down or crashes immediately in real time everyone’s reactions on this app are like sound the alarm. But that’s kinda only for that specific instance. TikTok did that for EVERYTHING! The ceo death, instant reactions from all sides, the cease fire, opinions analysis and takes across the board. Now, I went omg people must be blowing up that is actually happened like how they were the past few weeks but on the other platforms now, and the reality is that no other platform can give the same instantaneous reactions and unfiltered responses as things happen. No matter your stance on if you like TikTok or not it has to be acknowledged that this is such a huge form of censorship and limitations from allowing people to actually connect with one another.
I think of how “trends” used to take years to spread from the bigger cities like New York to the smaller areas states over. Or even across the ocean from Italy to here, etc. but as technology advanced the physical gap of distance became ideologically shorter as we were able to connect closer and closer to real time with one another but the second we achieved a platform the facilitated that in a raw form, it was taken down and removed. I wonder who benefits the most from division of people dependent on location, socialization, and ideology confinement?
Most people on this app are consumers of media and information that varies from topic to topic and format to format but the one thing that is consistent amongst us all is that we are impacted by the content we seek and what find us. We find ourselves within it and eachother as we form communities and create connections. Something that is seen across so many fandoms and forms of media is the destruction of division and people seeking total control, as well as the the societal repercussions that come from actions claiming to be for the better while in reality perpetuating these motifs.
The world has always been a place of turmoil. It has always had these dark moments. WE (the common people) just never had the ability to SHARE our perspectives and be HEARD by others. We have never been able to form emotional connections without shared experience in real time. There have always been people that are selfish and seemingly evil just for the sake of being evil but when those things would happen, people couldn’t do much more than endure. And eventually when endurance ran short and people became fed up change would happen, but it could only be made by the individuals experiencing these darknesses. Now we have created channels of support, community and awareness that allow for endurance and education. It allows for new options to be explored and perceived. That’s been snuffed out time and time again through banned books, canceled media, government interference and the monetary control of main news and information distribution. Eventually endurance will run out as it has in the past and we the people now have the knowledge of something different. Of lives spent without these sources of turmoil and alternative solutions to problems within our control.
Do not go silent into the night. We can not regress into a technological darkness as websites are being bought out, controlled, monitored and censored to strip the common people of their resources, communities and opportunities for growth. Survival and endurance are the current focuses of so many of us, but for those in a place of power, a place of privilege, and a place of compassion, that can see the other side, have connected across the social barriers they continue to construct and have begun dismantling the divisions that try to force us to forget that we are all humans, one in the same, creatures of the earth and souled beings capable of intense beauty and intense pain.
I absolutely LOVE arguing online. It's free entertainment. And it can be so fun.
letterboxd: stormingjales
medium: stormingjales
bluesky: stormingjales
aoty: burntheborder
some advertising work i did for a friend’s undergraduate student government campaign. see more here.
Made a carrd account for my other socials feel free to check it out!
I would like to direct some attention to cgp grey's video this video will make you angry witch expresses this argument and expands it a bit. You can easily find it by searching for "cgp grey this video will make you angry" I would give you a link but I don't know how.
In case many of you are wondering why so much of social media has degenerated into a collection of emotionally charged political tirades, the algorithms typically elevate posts based on user engagement, such as what a controversial, dramatic statement or accusation might incur.
This formula makes sense from a business standpoint because highlighting posts that demand attention creates a user experience that ensures you’re getting bombarded with plenty of ads, but it also creates an artificial, exaggerated sense of turmoil and division that’s capable of instigating a kind of social panic, similar to how news stations do.
It will often appear that everybody is becoming increasingly neurotic, delusional, and unstable, because it’s all you see online, despite stemming from a severe minority of people. It’s important to remember though, that these posts receive attention and provoke scrutiny precisely because they’re outliers, not because they represent everyone everywhere.
I think it's pretty funny that doomscrolling social media can be described like watching a car crash you can't look away from but part of the reason I left instagram is reels literally wouldn't stop showing me car crashes
I will design an attractive social media carousel post for your instagram!
CTKVI.STORE INSTAGRAM
Making a link post
My Toyhouse: https://toyhou.se/rhokutlauncher My Art Fight: https://artfight.net/~rhokutlauncher My Twitter: https://x.com/rhokutlauncher My Instagram (i rarely post): https://www.instagram.com/rhokutlauncher
I made Social Media as Anime Boys and made small Comics about them.
Revenge Is Sweet (Series Masterlist)
~ a Tom Holland Social Media AU
》 STATUS: completed…for now ;) 》 PAIRING: college!football player!tom x college!female!reader 》 TROPE/GENRE: college au; fake dating au; idiots to lovers; angst; fluff; crack-ish 》 WARNINGS: the most cliché of clichés, tropes galore, cheating, pettiness, language, sexual jokes + innuendos, gossips + tea, football ⚽️, not-so-accurate photos, not-so-accurate depictions of college, harrison being a swiftie, tom being a huge flirt, football!player!tom!, flirtatious conversations (e.g. teasing talks & hints of/about sex, nothing explicit), cheesy one-liners, even cheesier captions/tweets, sprinkles of angst, very cute/soft/sweet moments, and long ass text messages especially as the series progresses.
✩ TOM HOLLAND MASTERLIST ✩ MAIN MASTERLIST ✩
⊱ ─────.⋅♚ *｡･ﾟ.★. *｡･ﾟ✫*.
➽ Synopsis:
What happens if your boyfriend cheats on you with your well-known tormenter? Even more exciting, what happens if the Tom Holland—football captain, campus heartthrob, your well-known tormenter’s boyfriend, etcetera—asks you to get revenge on them with him? To put things not so simply, if your boyfriend cheated on you with his girlfriend, who cheated on him with your boyfriend, would that make you friends? Or maybe…something more?
➽ Parts:
⚽️ Intro ⟶ the players ⚽️ Part 1 ⟶ honeymoon phase ⚽️ Part 2 ⟶ too good to be true ⚽️ Part 3 ⟶ accidental rebound ⚽️ Part 4 ⟶ ️if your enemy is my enemy… ⚽️ Part 5 ↳ 5.1 ⟶ charm & persuade ↳ 5.2 ⟶ pros & cons ⚽️ Part 6 ⟶ ️game plan ⚽️ Part 7 ⟶ ️let’s start rumours ⚽️ Part 8 ↳ 8.1 ⟶ fiery & reveal(?) ↳ 8.2 ⟶ real & fake(?) ⚽️ Part 9 ↳ 9.1 ⟶ perfect & precious company ↳ 9.2 ⟶ ️pregame care & packages ⚽️ Part 10 ⟶ oscar-worthy “acting” ⚽️ Part 11 ⟶ chase(ing) self-deception ⚽️ Part 12 ⟶ revenge is bitter ⚽️ Part 13 ↳ 13.1 ⟶ assist to goal (bc idiot needs help) ↳ 13.2 ⟶ assist to goal (bc other idiot needs help) ⚽️ Part 14 ⟶ ️for real, this time ⚽️ Part 15 ⟶ revenge turned out sweeter [final]
➽ Extras:
tom asking begging for your number
⚽️ REVISTING IS SWEETER (Masterlist)
a collection of Revenge Is Sweet written extras
.✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.★.*｡･ﾟ♛ *.
✎ feedback is always appreciated <3
©️ t-lostinworlds, 2021
nahh i hate when people on pinterest (or other social media tbh) post sm about politics and try to 'manipulate' or force others to believe their thoughts and opinions, like, leave me aloneeee i only wanna see itoshi sae on my feed :(
My wish and dream is to have a loaf of bread and a drink of water for me and my family to live on.
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I’m gonna be honest I wasn’t expecting there to be a lot of love on my tiktok account, but here we are and I’m terrified. I’m so burnt out and I don’t even want to make content right now because everyone expects so much of me. I just need a break.
This is why it's so hard for me to ever post my art on social media. I have over a dozen social media's it makes my carrd look insane. I have a back log of nearly 100 artworks that barley see the light of day outside discord cause so many social media's makes it a full on chore to post. Even if I focused on the sites I had actually traction that's still quite a few places.
I do genuinely wanna post my art and male this my career but every algorithm is different and every new small site that's hard to break into makes it feel like a daunting task. It's feels like writing an essay posting 1 picture on 12 different places hoping just 1 person even notices
I wanna try posting art soon but it'll probably not happen with my school load about to get huge.
make a cohost account, make a blue skies account, make a pillow fort account, make a artfol account, share your discord, make a back-up account, make another account, make another account, make another account-
Ive really only ever used tumblr, so tags on other sites are a mystery to me. But like.. does tagging “#fyp” actually do things on other sites? If it does, why doesn’t every post have that tag?
I just saw somebody in my notes whose blog header identifies them as a "straight ally", followed immediately by a series of emojis depicting a gay pride flag, a trans pride flag, two women holding hands, a disco ball, and what appears to be the national flag of Denmark.
What Would Happen If the Gang Found out Clay Hsving a Secret Girlfriend
Twitter Bios 13 Reaosn why Au
Lil Late But Still
These are my social medias of which you can find me!
Pinterest - StressandEmotionalTrauma
Deviantart - StressandTrauma
Snapchat - i_amoutbye
Quotev - (not much used anymore but still there) I-am-out-bye
It's not many but those are just the ones I wish to share 😄