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That pretty, French Alouette song is great, except there’s a birthday version I’ve heard at restaurants growing up that replaces the lyrics “Alouette, gentile alouette” with “happy birthday, happy happy birthday,” and at the end of that verse they scream “DO WE HAVE A BIRTHDAY HERE,” and you, the audience, are supposed to respond “yes we have a birthday here,” and now whenever I have that pretty, French Alouette song in my head, it’s rudely punctuated by my mind conjuring a birthday query at a volume unacceptable for human sanity