Experience Tumblr like never before
Today's not really different.
Just another fucking day.
Wake up, get dressed, go to work and wait.
Waiting is what got me here
Waiting for something impossible to happen.
We should have left the first time you asked me.
But you wanted me to finish college,
Wanted me to follow my dreams.
Too bad you couldn't summon the strength when you most needed it
To keep holding on for me.
I had hoped you'd do it for yourself,
But clearly
Neither of those were enough.
The nature of our relationship was not one born of lust or desire. It was irrational, illogical, and instinctual.
Ours is a connection, a magnetism, two polarized forces turned to attract the other. It is an orbit born of gravity and inertia, a centripetal force between us two constantly keeping our centers inseparable.
I felt you in my chest, beneath my sternum, and in my gut, between the hollow of my ribs. I feel the place where our souls used to dance like a giant's fist has ripped out my insides.
I want to scream, and everytime silence finds me, crawls inside me all I hear is my broken voice screaming your name until my lungs ache and my throat bleeds and my blood drips from the corners of my mouth and all I taste is salt.
I have lost the desire to numb myself because I know there is nothing that will numb me. Anything I do will crank my ribs open and lay everything I no longer have bare for anyone to see. It is a dark bloody husk inside my chest with shriveled lungs and a bruised heart that kept beating for you and believed in your promises and aspirations.
My grief is unmatchable, it refused to grow and move, I remain stuck now as I have for the past two munths; in firm denial.
Our connection is irrational, illogical...
And now so am I.