“Darling, You Deserve It All. You Deserve Love And Peace And Magic And Joy Dancing In Your Eyes. You

you don’t have to change your life overnight, but try to add good things to it each day.

Healing is not about getting over it. Healing is about learning to live well in the aftermath. We have many ways to live that lead to healing but none that get over It.

i just wanted to say that your response to the post about finding a job if you have avpd was so incredibly helpful to me. I was getting really down on myself for not being able to go out and "just get a job" like everyone else, and this trulu helped me. thank you so much for giving me insight and hope for the future. You're awesome (im sorry im shy and on anon)

Aw! You are so welcome, friend. Thanks for taking the time to let me know!

It’s really hard to live in a society that says a person’s value depends on their being “useful” – as if there’s even a way to say someone is objectively useful. Not everyone is able to function that way, and we are still just as worthy as anyone else.

I just want to reassure you (& everyone who struggles with mental health) that Yes, this is super extra hard for us – other people make it look easy *because for them, it IS easy.* If life was a video game, we’d be playing it in “Hard” mode.

We shouldn’t ever be ashamed of our lives. It might not look like other people’s success, but it’s OUR success, and it counts. <3

This is just extremely helpful right now, if you are feeling overwhelmed by current events, and maybe tempted to give up on the whole notion. TW for non-graphic suicidality at the link (but like... how to deal with it!)

Thank you for writing and sharing ❤️

I wrote a post as someone who has gone through months-long periods of time when I genuinely believed it was the end of the world and couldn’t bring myself to get out of bed because of it. These are some emotional strategies I figured out along the way, and hope they’re helpful to someone else.

So a few months ago I learned that when you have ADD/ADHD, in order to efficiently manage it (and thus reduce the stress that comes with it), you need to concentrate on four things:

Sleep Nutrition Activity Personal time/space

OH HEY GUYS LOOK AN ACRONYM THAT’S ACTUALLY EASY TO REMEMBER! 

SNAP

Do you feel yucky and aren’t sure why? Look at your SNAP. Figure out what you’re missing. 

Are you getting enough sleep? 

Are you eating enough, and is what you’re eating mostly made of nutritious foods? 

Are you getting enough physical activity?

Are you getting enough alone time to decompress, to reset your sensory overload, to spend time in your head, and relax?

I have found that 1) I feel so, so much better when I’m actively putting effort into my SNAP, and 2) if I feel weird, it’s way easier to narrow down what might be the problem by asking myself those questions. 

10/10 would recommend.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

The way you speak to yourself matters.