Lunatic Luv

Sometimes it's like

there is a realist

and a romantic

who fight inside

Medusa's soul

and

a lion's heart

Shedding all the tears

Saved in aeons of despair

Sorrowful salt sea

Wasted Water

This soil is out of nutrients

carry on my dearest friend

all the seeds bound to decease

there’s no need here for your trees

Try not to loathe, no time to mourn

your heart was always battle-born

Go on and find the fertile lands

carry on my dearest friend

Brightly colored pictures

Move before my eyes

With no single reaction

Of my heart and my mind

Accompanying voices

I can't quite comprehend

My senses sense sensations

Which don't make any sense

I try to find myself

Feeling empty

Draw pictures

Curiously

Set them on fire

Furiously

Look at the ashes

In sadness

Start again from scratch

I don't know who I am,

What to do,

What is real.

This anxiety and depression

Devour me day in, day out.

Every step outside

Is a struggle

A fight against myself

And I hate it, hate myself,

Despise myself.

Isolate even more

So that the world

Won't see my worthless being.

If I had one wish

It would be

That I'd forever

Disappear.

Jedes Mal, wenn deine Augen funkeln, dein Gesicht vor Freude strahlt und dein Mund sich zu einem Lächeln wie deiner Lieblingszahl formt, dann erfüllst du den Raum und forderst mein Herz zum Tanz.

You're smothering me with ignorance

a mix of deadly silence, broken promises

and lies.

Abandoned and rejected like I don't matter to you

as the words you speak oppose the things you do.

And it hurts like a burning knife in my heart.

Droplets

Drip..

Drip....

Drip...

The sound of the water crashing onto the porcelain pierces my ears.

But it's not that kind of piercing, not the 'gotta stand up and fix this'-type.

And even if I would like to stand up to fix it, I couldn't. I'm frozen, falling into the abyss, in a timeless place without any meaning. Everything's so meaningless.

And I'm just like these droplets, falling.

Falling deeper..

deeper....

And deeper...

So many hours lost

Thinking about many things

Which are unresolved