Tough Love.

I LOVE love it when my friends keep and hold me accountable. It's seriously so 🥺🥺. Like you see me, you want me to flourish, you care that I'm doing this life thing right, you want the best for me?!! And they do it ooh so gently. How amazing is it? 'kay bye, imma cry 😭😭

Our incompatibility is in no way a reflection of your worthiness.

If you could just understand that a NO, a rejection is more "we're just not compatible" more than it's a measure of your worth--

I've always wondered why we take it so poorly when someone rejects us but I'm realizing it's because most of the time we're attaching our worth to it. 'The fact that they don't wanna be with me must mean I'm unworthy, I'm not enough, I could have done more, could have done better' and a myriad more excuses of us trying to come to terms with it.

This is not to mean that we can't save some of our connections by doing better, or being better. It's just that there are times we put our whole being on the line, do the best we can but at some point we have to accept that maybe we just aren't compatible. We're not in alignment. And in no way is it a reflection of your worth.

Impulsively gets loads of ear piercings...

When I'm drawn to be judgemental and snarky I take a deep breath and remember to be a lil bit compassionate. I'm not always successful and say some things I probably shouldn't but it's the grace I'd love everyone else to have in my regard. So I keep trying.

It's all going to hurt. Just find what's worth the suffering or what's worth the pain and discomfort.

~my gut to me

What's it trying to teach me?

I’m here to remind you to hydrate and smile! I hope you have a sweet sweeeet day and I hope October is treating you well ☁️ oh also, I’m proud of you for doing your best it’s good enough

Been hydrating and this just made me cheese/smile so hard you have no idea. Didn't see this earlier but I got to it when I needed it the most. You're the sweetest ✨ and I hope your existence is as sweet and thoughtful as you are. Thank you lovely.

Life Hack

Find people who enjoy the things you do. Where your values align. It will save you a load of heartbreak.

have you ever been so excited about something and shared it with a loved one, a friend, family member or colleague and their reaction left you wanting? I'll be honest, their reaction sucked, it sucked all the life and excitement from you, so you learnt to keep quiet and keep things to yourself? this kills you slowly.

since I found people who appreciate the same things I do, the things I value? my life has significantly improved. the life and excitement is back. I have friends I know I can talk their ear off when it comes to fitness or yoga, I have friends who make me feel like I am in a bookclub.

find people who make it easy to be you. who encourage your full authentic expression. find different people for different things. I have friends who love me to death and till I figured out we didn't share the same interests I was miserable. I'd keep going to them and end up disappointed.

truth is think of times when someone brought up something that held no interest to you? you might not have shut them down but trust me your energy came across as detached, removed. its like this is my friend, I'll humor them, I'll listen but it just isn't the same.

then think of times when someone brought up something that interested you? how excited, how animated, how responsive you got? how long, how uninhibited, the conversation. the passion, your involvement. suddenly you're sharing your preferences, your icks, discussing any and everything?

find different people for different aspects of your life. I have a friend that I go to for education related stuff, I know that with her I'll be seen and heard and I'll come out of the interaction filled and fulfilled. I have friends I know I can vent and rant and be insane with and I won't get the urge to shrink or dim any part of me.

this occurred to me when I realized I didn't know anyone in my friend group who loves adventure and I was left wondering how I could fill the void. I answered my own question for example finding a bookclub if you like to read, joining a running club if that is something you would want to explore and so on and so forth.

this saves you from a lot of resentment when your friends can't be there for you, it also fills your life with so much juice. a full life.

a lesson I have been learning of late is that my friends don't have to be everything for me. it's okay to go to different people for different things. a community is much more sustainable and you can create your own or join an already existing one.

go live, I love you 🩷

You know when you watch people doing something and they make it look so effortless? And it's so zen and so aesthetically pleasing? But when you try to do the same thing, following the exact same steps it's all fireworks and bombs going off, frustration, perspiration?!! Everything is just off, nowhere near zen 🤦🤦

You know when you ask yourself the 'hard' questions and it turns out that you don't even have an answer for yourself? When you question your beliefs and figure out that they actually have no basis? Okay watch this-

Thought: I'm not enough.

Me: What makes you say so? Where? Is there anything in particular? How? Did someone say something in regards to it?

I either come up blank or the instances that come to mind have NOTHING to do with me.

why do we believe that for us to get closure, it must've all gone up in flames, bridges burned down to cinders and ash

why can't we move on

why do we wish that they'd broken our hearts better

it's like there was destruction but it wasn't enough for me to see damage

I need to see the damage

I don't know, it's just messed up

we don't want the amicable ends

we want blood, sweat and tears

we want to hear words we can't come back from and say them back

we want to scream and cry and croak

we don't want to walk out with our hearts whole

gluttons for pain, destruction