Just Finished I Saw The TV Glow, And I Must Say It Has Quickly Become My Favorite Movie I've Ever Had

Just finished I Saw the TV Glow, and I must say it has quickly become my favorite movie I've ever had the honor to watch.

There's so much beauty in it in so many different ways. It is a compassionate and raw perspective on transness and mental illness and feeling empty and nostalgia and isolation. Not only was the writing excellent my god the acting and the cinematography had me in tears. Some things I loved about the movie.

1. The writing (obviously)

The way this movie is a metaphor for so many different things that seem separate but are all intertwined is breathtaking. Something I found fascinating is at the end I didn't even really sit there trying to decide if it was all a psychotic break or it they really were from a tv show because it didn't matter. Because at the end of the day, it was still about being too afraid to be yourself. About holding it all in until you break. About life moving too fast but being too slow and monotonous. It was about fearing who you are and never taking the dive because it sounds crazy and you can't. It's about regret. It's about soulmates, about that on person who you never have to lie to. In the end, it would still be about those things whether or not there really was a tv show or not.

2. Cinematic Decisions

The filming decisions in this film made it what it was. One of the things I found fascinating was the lack of a true soundtrack. There wasnt particularly a lot of background noise excpet for chatter on the TV. All of the conversations and days are smothered in this thick heavy silence. The silence is so prominent it feels like its own character. The graininess and static making it feel like an actual tv show. The colors, the sickening neon glow from everywhere all the time. The unsteady camera and wide shots.

3. The relationships

While Maddy and Owen are amazing on their own, their relationship is the most compelling part of the story. Both feel alone and broken and like theres something wrong with themselves but not as much around each other. We see Owen isn't really talkative or open with his mom, that he barely says anything at all to her, but with Maddy almost immediately, he feels a connection to her. He seeks her out again and again. Owen doesn't have anything resembling a relationship with anyone else. He barely has dialogue with other characters. In the scene where his dad is holding him under the shower, he doesn't say a word, doesn't even look at him honestly. He says near the end he has a family, but we don't even see them. But with Maddy, he is close to her. They're intertwined, and around each other, they admit truths and secrets it doesnt feel like they've ever said outloud before. Even when Owen is freaked out by Maddy, even when he pushes her away and runs, there's till love there. It's not rejection as much as fear, and maddy doesn't blame him.

4. Parallels and Callbacks

One of the main cinematic choices I found myself noticing over and over again was the colors surrounding Maddy and Owen. in the first scene they sit across from each other as Owen leans against a oink vending machine and maddy a black. Owen has a pink sleeping bag and a pink shirt and a pink dress. Maddy is more often seen in black and white. Some great callbacks are the scene where we find out Owen doesn't have a heart, and Maddy reminds him of the bleavhers where he said he was afraid someone would dig up his insides and find there is nothing there. Seeing the chalk on the road clearly for the first time and it being the ghosts and "there's still time".

My personal favorite scene is the scene where Owen watches the finale, and then his dad comes in to find him with his head on the TV, screaming and crying. To me, this scene is very reminiscent of an attempt. He's finally been pushed to the edge and flung off of it. he's been holding everything in for so long and he can't take it anymore. Its heartbreaking in every way.

All in all this is a fantastic movie I highly recommend. All my love to the writers producers and directors.

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Today, I'm thinking about Jesus Christ Superstar again (specifically the 2012 live arena version). Im thinking about how raw and desperate and viceral all of it is. Thinking about the inherit guilt and shame and anger is jesus and judas. How they can rail against the narrative all they want, can drag their feet towards the end, can go kicking and screaming, and it will end up the same anyway. How hard they fight against their fate, desperate to be heard. Judas begging Jesus to trust him, to listen to his concerns. "Listen Jesus, I don't like what I see. All I ask is that you listen to me, " Jesus begging God to have mercy, to answer the cries of his knly son. "God, god, why have you forsaken me?". Anout how Jesus begged for him mother as he was dying, about how scared and alone he was. Thinking about how Judas was right the whole time, that they did turn against Jesus, that it was out of his control. Jesus did want him, need him, to betray him for the sake of gods plan. "You wanted me to do it,". Thinking about how Judas didn't go to the rally with Jesus in hosanna, isntead watching over him from afar. About how all of the zealots who only saw jesus as a savior, half god half sacrificial lamb, and how judas was the only one not there. Thinking about anachronisms and using each others name like a curse. "You liar, you Judas." "Christ you deserve it. " Thinking about the love that threads them together, even if its not enough to save either of the.

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musical theatre Jesus judas iscariot jesus christ superstar

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unhingedscreaming

1 year ago

the way that jesus loved judas despite his flaws and judas loved jesus because of his flaws and the way they are trapped in the narrative and judas always had to turn hik in but he loves him and he didnt want him to die but he knew that the messiah was not the jesus he loved and how he knew his role and he had to play it

🪄

Gonna cheat a little bit here and reference multiple songs but… these lines from Jesus Christ Superstar have been on my mind for a good while:

“If you strip away the myth from the man” “I remember when this whole thing began/no talk of god then we called you a man” “You sad pathetic man” “He’s a man/he’s just a man/he is not a king/he’s just the same as anyone I know/he scares me so”

I am sooooooo normal about the way Judas loves Jesus. Most other characters revere, deify Jesus, but Judas doesn’t do that. He loves not Jesus the Messiah, but Jesus the man. There’s something so tragic about the supposed traitor being the only one who truly understands Jesus’ struggles regarding his divine destiny (as showcased in Gethsemane). How do you love someone when your love is infinitesimal in the grand scheme of things, when the one you love is half god, half sacrificial lamb? When you’re not sure he’s even human? His accusations in The Last Supper is equal parts “you’re getting out of control” and “why must you sacrifice yourself this way when you’re just a man, why make your flesh and blood bread and wine?”. In my opinion, when it comes down to it, the logic behind Judas’ whole “your followers are getting out of control, I have no choice but to turn you in” thing is anger towards Jesus for becoming an idol and driving his followers into a religious craze, when he could’ve done his activism as a human. When you interpret it this way, Judas’ repeating “Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ, who are you? What have you sacrificed?” becomes so much more than bitter mockery; he’s demanding the one he loved to answer the question that tormented him all along.

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unhingedscreaming

4 months ago

they make me insane