Can We Talk About How Neil Gave Andrew Back His Armbands Immediately Upon His Return From Easthaven,

i just need to reread all for the game

andrew cuts cake pieces from the middle, and it’s not even because he doesn’t like the edges - it’s just for everyone else’s reactions

seth gordon spent all his college athlete years believing his team was worthless and would never amount to anything and he died with those same beliefs and i will never get over it

hola me amiga, back again to ask: tilda minyard and her relationship to both of the twins. thoughts?

hello again! 

(cw: abusive parent-child relationship, tilda, twinyards’ pasts)

oh boy. tilda. she is one character that i just. hate. i don’t hate her for putting the twinyards into foster care. i don’t even hate her for only taking aaron back, bc while it’s heartbreaking all around... she couldn’t handle two kids, which is devastating but fair. not telling aaron about andrew was pretty shitty, but again, she couldn’t handle two and aaron would’ve wanted to reunite, so keeping him a secret was maybe what she thought was the least painful.

but god. i hate her so much. 

she was neglectful of aaron his whole childhood and made him feel like a burden. he still loved her, bc kids want to love their parents so desperately. and in return he was met with snarls and insults and silent hatred. the kind where a person can channel their hate as they’re washing dishes roughly or clenching they’re jaw while watching tv. the kind that festers around you and makes the entire environment stifling and toxic. 

and then andrew. i don’t think andrew had it in him any more to care that he was abandoned. the fact that tilda abandoned him and kept aaron may have stung slightly, but ultimately, he would’ve shoved that down as just another shitty thing in his shitty life and moved on. 

however. 

tilda started to become violent when higgins told them about andrew. she’d been abusive the whole time, but now it was physical as well. and there’s no way aaron didn’t associate that negativity with andrew, even only subconsciously, before he even met him. 

and then andrew was reunited, which tilda had tried to avoid all along. and andrew saw how abusive she was and told aaron he could take care of it, and he did. and aaron despised him for it. because he still loved his mom. because he was still so desperate for the love that came out in fractured fractions from time to time. 

tilda is, ultimately, why the twinyards have such a shitty relationship. she’s the reason aaron had such a shitty childhood. (i don’t think it’s 100% fair to blame all of andrew’s on her, because while she is why he’s there, she wasn’t the actual abuser for him. she doesn’t haunt his nightmares). 

tilda shattered the twinyards and did nothing to put them back together. and i will never forgive her for it. 

daily aftg hc: people talk about neil falling asleep all the time around the foxes, but no. see, i raise you a more accurate andrew falling asleep. not with the foxes, obviously, but with neil. constantly. when they get their own apartment, neil cannot sit down with andrew for more than five minutes before he is a body pillow. when they're standing together waiting for coffee, and andrew is glaring at the sun like it's targeting him specifically, neil will just lightly touch his hair and let him lean against his chest. in about three seconds he's dead weight. neil has to fill out a whole mental checklist to make sure he has everything done (going to the bathroom, eating, etc.) before going to sit with andrew on the couch because he knows he won't be getting up until andrews done with his nap

erik: what does ‘take out’ mean?

nicky: dating :)

kevin and aaron: food

neil: murder

andrew: all three, if you’re not a fucking coward

okay but andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs just-

he thought that neil was too good to be true, that there was no way he could actually be real 

he probably braced himself for bitter disappointment when he was going through withdrawal, was probably expecting to feel apathy towards everyone and everything yet again

but then neil was there and he was just as interesting as before

he still cared about andrew

he respected andrew’s boundaries

he didn’t run

he kept his promises

the man with a plethora of secrets willingly opened about his life, unprompted, for three hours on the bus

like

how did andrew come to terms with the fact that neil wasn’t a pipedream, he wasn’t too good to be true?? 

how did he accept that neil chose him and he wasn’t backing out, wasn’t leaving??? 

how long did it take him to stop expecting neil to abandon him? 

how long did it take him to realize that neil was permanent?

and for how long did andrew think that he didn’t deserve any of it?

Forehead kisses.

andrew never liked snow days, because staying home meant he couldn’t escape the house that day. they didn’t happen often, ofc, w him being in cali, but that didn’t make them any less dreaded

when he wakes up one day and sees snow out of his window at palmetto, andrew tenses. classes and practice are cancelled, because it’s south carolina and snow cancels everything. andrew stays in bed that day, back against the wall, body tense, eyes alert

neil doesn’t mind. he makes some hot chocolate for andrew and places it within his reach without getting too close. he grabs warm clothes for andrew to change into, and when the offer goes ignored, neil grabs blankets from the living room and tosses them to andrew, who stares at neil for a moment before bundling them around his slightly shivering body

neil offers andrew memories. watching movies with his mom in front of the fire. snowmen and steaming showers when the cold soaked into his bones. thick socks and long scarves. warm mittens and chai tea with a cinnamon stick, his favourite winter treat growing up

andrew listens. the tension in his body slowly eases throughout the day, but his back never leaves the wall and his eyes remain wary. he doesn’t tell neil why he hates the snow, and neil doesn’t ask for that truth. neil just stays in the room, watching games with headphones or doing homework or taking a nap

andrew doesn’t say anything. it doesn’t bother neil

the next day is the weekend, and most of the snow has melted. when neil enters the dorm kitchen in the morning, andrew is already there

and waiting for neil on the counter is a mug of hot chai tea with a cinnamon stick

neil “i’m fine” josten telling wymack after coming back from evermore that no, no, he’s not alright just... pierces my heart every time i think about it. you can really see how much neil’s grown by how he finally begins to trust someone other than himself or his mom. he puts himself in such a vulnerable position when he reaches out, especially by asking for help from an older man (given his past). and the way that wymack drops everything during winter break to immediately rush to the airport, i just-