Erik: What Does ‘take Out’ Mean?

neil actually cleaned out his cuts and burns after lola tortured him??? while he still thought he was going to die???? like i cannot emphasize enough how much that hurts. i literally had a blister that rubbed off on my foot and cried for days afterwards whenever i tried to clean it out with water, and here neil is even using s o a p?????? it paid off bc he lived and his wounds didn’t get infected but ow

lots of fanfic makes nicky out to be completely clueless and hyper but in the books, neil says he thinks that nicky has to act more outgoing to make up for the twinyards antisocial tendencies, and he’s actually pretty perceptive - normally realizes as soon as he makes someone uncomfortable, could tell when neil was anxious near the end of the kings men leading up to raven game, just genuinely tries to help others and be a good person but he has to put up an act all the time

andrew joins neil for runs occasionally and denies that it’s bc he cares for him (kind of like how cats are “coincidentally” in the same room as you 90% of the time) and neil chooses the routes that he knows andrew will like best, the ones with viewpoints where it seems like you’re on top of the world bc heights are always a sure fire way to ensure andrew feels something, even if that something is fear

and neil feigns confusion when andrew accuses him of slowing his pace down for him, but while andrew thinks that neil’s trying to coddle him, neil just wants to spend more time doing something he loves with the man he loves and seeing the way andrew’s eyes dart around as if to soak up the world and ingrain it all in his memory when he thinks neil isn’t looking, more interest than he normally shows while playing exy

they talk and neil laughs and they get home sweaty and tired to take lazy hot showers together. neil has always and will always love running, but his favourite morning runs are those precious occasions when andrew joins him and it’s just the two of them against the world. andrew will never admit it, but those just might be his favourite mornings too

no, you’re a person, i’m merely a vessel filled with the overwhelming urge to reread all for the game

on the one hand, saying “make me” and refusing to kneel when tetsuji told him to is iconic. on the other hand, neil knew he’d be there for two more weeks and he still purposely antagonized him???? very in character but what the f u c k

young nathaniel so small and scared when he has to run away in the middle of the night, even though he’s leaving his monster behind. young abram confused and wanting to go back and play exy with the first almost-friends he ever made, but instead running forever and never able to slow down. young no-name boy answering to many, learning new backstories for every new city and wishing his life was anything like the people he pretended to be, anything other than his reality. young neil hurt and grieving and all alone in the world, no one but himself to protect him, looking over his shoulder for living nightmares and roaming monsters that want to hurt the boy who only ever wanted to play exy.

i love it when i get spam from a random account. like,, they actually liked my content enough that they’ve decided to scroll through my account and leave me little breadcrumbs of joy in form of notes?? just know that if you’ve ever done that, or if you’re in my notes every time i post, or if you reblog my posts with fun tags, i love you so much

hc that neil knows how to braid hair bc of life on the run w his mom, but robin never learned (being kidnapped and all). so neil offers to braid her hair for her one day, when he notices her sloppy low ponytails and frustration. and eventually it becomes routine for her to find him before practices and games and they bond during their mini hairdressing sessions

reblog this with what comes up in your tags when you type gay

andrew, after his car is destroyed by ravens fans: in terms of money... we have no money

neil, with a quarter of a million bucks: *hands over his binder*