Experience Tumblr like never before
okay but andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs just-
he thought that neil was too good to be true, that there was no way he could actually be real
he probably braced himself for bitter disappointment when he was going through withdrawal, was probably expecting to feel apathy towards everyone and everything yet again
but then neil was there and he was just as interesting as before
he still cared about andrew
he respected andrew’s boundaries
he didn’t run
he kept his promises
the man with a plethora of secrets willingly opened about his life, unprompted, for three hours on the bus
like
how did andrew come to terms with the fact that neil wasn’t a pipedream, he wasn’t too good to be true??
how did he accept that neil chose him and he wasn’t backing out, wasn’t leaving???
how long did it take him to stop expecting neil to abandon him?
how long did it take him to realize that neil was permanent?
and for how long did andrew think that he didn’t deserve any of it?