Hc That Neil Knows How To Braid Hair Bc Of Life On The Run W His Mom, But Robin Never Learned (being

HAHAH you know what, you’re absolutely right and i love you for bringing this up. i also feel obligated to add your tags to this post, because they’re iconic

i feel like we all just forgot that kevin’s on nicky’s List™?? okay a) this is further proof that kevin’s hot af b) does kevin know??? that nicky wants to bang him???? and c) nicky what a waste of a choice, kevin would never

tags via @karmiky​

andrew definitely sets alarms for like 6:13 and 8:19 and it makes kevin So Mad

neil: this is it

matt: how can all your stuff fit in one (1) dufflebag??

neil: i only pack what’s necessary

matt:

matt: 🎵 look for the... baRE NECESSITIES, the SIMPLE BARE NECESSITIES🎵

neil:

what’s your mood on a scale of neil “i’m fine” josten to neil “you know, i get it” josten

you know what’s painful? before the final match against the ravens when neil says that he can see how much matt loves his mom and that “sometimes he was still surprised at how blatantly that love was returned” 

like?? 

mary did her best to keep neil alive and they had a complicated relationship but, ultimately, neil loved her

this quote hurts though, because neil obviously didn’t really get that love reciprocated - yes, in her own way, mary loved him and tried to keep him safe and as happy as possible given the circumstances, but overall his life on the run was full of pain and fear and his mom added to that

so of course it’s weird for him to see randy love matt so fiercely and so openly, but my heart still aches for him

okay but andrew thinking that neil was just a side-effect of the drugs just-

he thought that neil was too good to be true, that there was no way he could actually be real 

he probably braced himself for bitter disappointment when he was going through withdrawal, was probably expecting to feel apathy towards everyone and everything yet again

but then neil was there and he was just as interesting as before

he still cared about andrew

he respected andrew’s boundaries

he didn’t run

he kept his promises

the man with a plethora of secrets willingly opened about his life, unprompted, for three hours on the bus

like

how did andrew come to terms with the fact that neil wasn’t a pipedream, he wasn’t too good to be true?? 

how did he accept that neil chose him and he wasn’t backing out, wasn’t leaving??? 

how long did it take him to stop expecting neil to abandon him? 

how long did it take him to realize that neil was permanent?

and for how long did andrew think that he didn’t deserve any of it?

neil likes sweet things, just not artificial sweetness. it’s canon that he likes fruit, which is packed with natural sugars!! i think that this also translates to people for him - if someone has a mask up or seems too nice (re: renee, bee, etc), he tends to be wary of them. he really just craves authenticity 

when neil ditched kevin to go sit with andrew on the bus and matt held kevin back, it’s 100% because matt was rooting for the tiny terrors to get together (and yes they were already “not-a-this” at this point but matt didn’t know that)

no fucking wonder mary never let neil make any friends on the run. for someone whose survival depended on anonymity and being anyone but himself, he was absolutely horrible at hiding any aspect of his personality for longer than 2 seconds of actual human interaction

andrew joins neil for runs occasionally and denies that it’s bc he cares for him (kind of like how cats are “coincidentally” in the same room as you 90% of the time) and neil chooses the routes that he knows andrew will like best, the ones with viewpoints where it seems like you’re on top of the world bc heights are always a sure fire way to ensure andrew feels something, even if that something is fear

and neil feigns confusion when andrew accuses him of slowing his pace down for him, but while andrew thinks that neil’s trying to coddle him, neil just wants to spend more time doing something he loves with the man he loves and seeing the way andrew’s eyes dart around as if to soak up the world and ingrain it all in his memory when he thinks neil isn’t looking, more interest than he normally shows while playing exy

they talk and neil laughs and they get home sweaty and tired to take lazy hot showers together. neil has always and will always love running, but his favourite morning runs are those precious occasions when andrew joins him and it’s just the two of them against the world. andrew will never admit it, but those just might be his favourite mornings too