Okay All I Have To Say Today Was Super Insane???? Wtf…..

wow… jan25 end…… can’t believe it. already! but also…. it did feel a bit slow but also feels like wow… already end..

anyways! I really did manage to draw something for all of Jan except for one day 😂😂😂 some days more productive than others. but hmm. towards the end… definitely was on slower end.

man I’ve been feeling so bad about my art lately,,, ahahah…. :’ but hey. looking at my art journal entries here helped a lot… omg…. thank u past self.

I really did mean for break and DID have it. Just not as large of a break that I thought but did feel enough of a break to be one…I think I said break too many times I’ve lost the direction of where I was going with this

—ANYWAYS. it was very meaningful and very good for me. like I tried to not at all think about art and enjoy other stuff and well yeah I came back to art eventually and did urges to draw but I didn’t succumb to it mainly because I didn’t feel ready but I did start to just…watch videos.

—a lot of informative anatomy videos and stuff and like got around to wanting to draw then….and this time I really just wanted to scribble thingies in

—and just ehhh I forgot my main first thoughts as I was doing it tbh. but I know that I was focusing on the arms and stuff and I wanted to do it like in drawing circle for elbow first etc and then I wanted to focus on the pelvis. I did an overdraw for one of the figures too of how the pelvis would be like and then draw over it how the legs and stuff would connect cuz the first one looked like ??? what was that lol

—but I still didn’t feel like I really how things are structured and how legs are connected to it and so videos helped a lot in that 😌 I had like geneallllk understanding but it wasn’t enough and like looking at pelvis diff angles and stuff wasn’t enough either and I felt like I didn’t understand properly how leg was connected but I think I got it now….? I say that but I still feel like I need to strength my knowledge some more. it’s not as strong as it can be.

—anyways after that I was doing other stuff but still wanted to draw so I got out the pen n paper

—I didn’t have any real goal….i just had urge to draw smth…. Did some random doodles and kinda focusing a bit on drawing boxes and stuff I saw around me. Practicing my lines too (and lol I feel like my line on paper is so much better than line on digital….. idk if it’s just the texture of paper… rather than the glass or iPad but it feels like? my line control is so much better lol maybe it’s the knock off Apple Pencil that’s just bad) (sigh why did my pencil have to break 😔)

—also Drew juv n srda for a bit since I was getting bored of doing random stuff and ahhhh honestly just kinda feeling upset cuz I felt like I completely forgot everything 😭😭😭 on how to even sketch in a decent figure pose… 😔😔😔

—and I forgot what happened in the middle lol…? but I think I watched more videos and stuff and then tried to contrast the figure pose again after some time and this time…? I think I got it…! also one thing I realised with the arms is that lollll I’ve been forgetting to draw in deltoid…fjjfjfjdj. anyways very happy with the lower part of this page. I feel like that’s when I started to Get It

—I’ve been wanting to draw hands better but I think the problem with how I’ve been drawing/kinda practising hands before is that when I tried to draw what I saw in refs the problem was that I felt like my knowledge of hand was insufficient like I knew general/gist stuff but like… I didn’t feel like I had the best understanding so I watched a lot of hand anatomy stuff (thank you proko…) and it helped in getting more understanding of what’s going on with the hands and stuff and so when I was sketching in this time… it felt more fun and I liked this session of drawing hands to any other even if they didn’t turn out well cuz I felt like my understanding was much better.

—also added in some finger single studies since that’s what im very weak in also I feel like I need to better understand the fat/muscle sides of the pinkie and stuff since I don’t think I get that well.. I’ve been using method of drawing in the knuckle/joints of where figures would be after drawing in palm and it helped really great with getting the spacing and stuff down.

—like example when I say I didn’t get the understanding of hand before: like I knew how hand works and stuff but like I feel my understanding/structure of the hand was like…. very not fresh? but now I can imagine better and know what’s there. that I just need to focus on how to draw it and feel for how it all connects and stuff…. that’s what I mean

—I think the best hand kinda turned out to be the one where I didn’t do the whole drawing in the joints for hands… it was the second last hand I did and I felts like I had general idea of where the fingers go so I just drew in the general shape and it was much easier to clearly draw in the bend of the fingers that it turned out to look better… idk how to put this into words but yeah…

—I honestly did have plans to do more figure studies and stuff but I got swept by things and it didn’t come to be but yeah. very happy n satisfied with how this day turned out to be. the break was very well needed<3 it’s kind of funny since it doesn’t seem like a break but for real. I usually think of art 24/7 and even when im not drawing im usually thinking about it or watching videos about it. and well taking this break where I purposely drew my attention away from that was very good. I need that break. I think from here things are gonna go slow and stuff. Which is a pace I probs need. to ingest more construction/understanding information that I can then apply/strength my figure prac drawing….

—one thing I do want to focus on is the heads. like I noticed when I draw heads…..like for normal angles the problem is that I don’t have a structure and stuff for chin/jaw etc and it’s kind of….a lot of fumbling.? so I think I just need to get better understanding and think of way to draw it in a way that’s less more fumbling lol.

and then his boyfriend provides him with blood? :) (please say yes i need this in my life so bad)

whats the point of it all if he doesnt

Remember how I said I wasn’t gonna do anything for today welllllllll.

— like okay first of all, I thought not doing anything today for the sake of not doing anything was kinda a waste since I didn’t want to go out of prac for no reason. lol remember those days I took off drawing prac in dec and yeah ahahah it showed when I got back into it

— also I saw this vid of someone prac art and it got me really fired up; also man being surrounded by all these good art also made me so jealous and want to get better so. yeah<3

—one thing I learned today, while trying to get of drawing the rectangles, is to imagine the way the limbs are gonna be like before I put pen to paper. it’s really important and helps a lot. and also realised it’s really helpful to have stick figures or rough sketching to figure out pose or whatever but it also doesn’t mean that I have to draw over it, since it loooks better when I redraw it knowing how the pose looks like…

— also when doing my pracs from ref… I tried to adjust the pose in some way so keep practicing imagination stuff. and like to challenge myself and to see like where I need weak one. also realised that why some of this is getting boring is cuz I’m not doing more challenging angles and diff stuff so that’s def up for when doing prac for next time

— also tried to get in some clothes prac. I wanna watch some clothes/folding stuff to get better understanding of it all. I didn’t get to doing that since I wanted to leave clothing prac for when I’m ready/wanted to and well! the time is now ahaha… also while trying to diff pose prac I also realised I barely do!!! any back poses!!!

— so I had to get those in…. and ahahah yeah I’m def out of practice with those…

— while doing figure pracs, I really did want to draw some characters… but ehhhh o really couldn’t be bothered to change the canvas to diff folders… anyways I did end up going to this prev ideas I had and… well I wanted to try to redraw it and it’s nice before the redraw to see this art from two months ago and see already what’s wrong with it… and ahhh the satisfaction to able to just draw it… I even did figure scribble next to it to figure out how I wanted the legs and stuff… and ahhhh it really was so satisfying to see how quickly I get get it down and the way it wasn’t any struggle at all to draw compared to before. IM REALLY FEELING THE PROGRESS!!!! It made me want to look at other old stuff and wow yeah. But also mannn this is ALSO why I wanna draw!!!!!!! Cuz I can just see it and feel the greatest satisfaction of “improvement” ahahah

— cuz wow I def feel like I don’t have enough of this bad art!!!! I need to create more stuff!!!!! but i guess problem is that while I want to… I can’t also be bothered with steps to getting to the canvas lololol.

— I did end up, drafting some ss comic…

— I had some idea but realised quickly how vague it was, so i tried to scribble down some situations and got something… and ahahah this is good to get in background prac… and comic too…. after first draft my energy levels reached zero for this and I couldn’t be bothered to continue at that time…. I think this is cuz I wanted to keep those drafts and not erase and rub over it…,. so next time I think it’s best to already keep some kind of squares for diff drafts so I can just already draw into it… thing I wanted to keep in mind while drawing this comic: is to not keep thinks complicated while chasing that “perfect” comic I want… cuz I think it’s fine to have comics I’m not satisfied with… and to keep it “simple” too… its way I can learn and to not get caught up in details…

— I remember this redraw I wanted to do of the anime watch.,, and ahahaha I got distracted a bit and so there was like only two mins of the day left and lololol I quickly sketched it in… I feel like this will be a good prac for background awareness…. and keeping characters interacting with the background and well hmmm. I don’t think I wanna to a 1.1 redraw. I wanted something that would capture what I really liked of the moment and wanted to redraw but don’t know how to do that yet. I just thought they looked super cute n funny/adorable how they were peaking out from the stones ahahah… and as to how I would try to capture that feeling in my redraw… no clue but something to think on I guess

FOR TMMR!!!! I really want to get in more character interactions prac and I just wanna draw characters,.. and I want to get in some face/expression pracs in diff angles too!! I totally forgot about those….

DAY DIDNT START OFF SO GOOD… 😔😔😔😔

—since I was already drawing from last time I thought I might as well continue into next day and do some figure prac and sIGH. watching the time lapse of my fix redraw honestly bothered me. it felt like I was better than…. and I don’t think how I adopted drawing the ribcage lately is something im a fan of. it’s just something I picked up and I don’t think I like it…

—anyways from that and seeing how my first figure prac wasn’t amazingggg well. it just got to me and then when I tried to draw in my second figure using the way I used to draw in ribcage and stuff it really wasn’t going in great and ahhhhb I was really started to feel depressed about my arts again and all sorts of sad 😭😭😭😭 but I persevered and yayyyy things picked up REALLY nicely in the third one……

—I was drawing from ref but got an idea for how pose could go and so changed it to the idea and oh mannnn it came out so nice ♥️ im so happy ♥️

—but yeah the other two just sucked so I gave up and mannnn it got me sad about my art. maybe drawing character art would cheer me up but idk man. I couldn’t just draw more stuff. I think it’s cuz I feel like I’ve regressed in my art which make me sooooo sad. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 it doesn’t help that I want to draw more nicely but am not at that stage and I just feel frustrated I guess and want to just be more good at art…. SIGH…….

—-oh well. we’ll see how things are a few hours from now. I think I just should just take break from art right now. I did want to focus on my writing lately but haven’t gotten to. maybe I should do that hmmm.

00.40

okay I did have a strong moment where I was really gonna give up on art and everything and then towards end of the day I realised how ridiculous that notion was, considering how I still partially was thinking about art and stuff and cuz I know myself and how many times I wanted to draw my stuff so I know I will be crawling back to art eventually. either I didn’t feel like drawing any more stuff today OR SO IT WAS…

—until I came across this animatir(?) Art of boru+his mom and I had the sudden urge to draw them together now and so I got my iPad to satisfy this bizarre urge and… end up doing some more figure pracs.

—okay tbf, the figure pracs were… already there when I opened procreate and so I just got down to doing it. had realisation I just like.:..? doing these kind of poses () and also man legs are hard and I think I forgot how pelvis looks like and where they are placed and man im terrible at stuff where pelvis justs out… and also at angles where rib is more angled or whatever…? I have struggled with that

—also lol at one point I gave up properly doing these and turned really into more scribble-ly fun… also I was trying to shrug off these being serious stuff and just have fun drawing…. I think I needed that

—I got bored then… and went off to draw the boru+mom idea I had… I didn’t really have an actual idea tbh….. but then I realised I probs should get in some face pracs since I haven’t really drawn hina… and uhhhh yeah it’s been a hot while since I drawn boru and I have been thinking of prev art that made me feel sad when I think of it cuz I feel like my art has not been as good at drawing faces and so I thought to go back to prev brushes but before that in the naru folder I saw some gaa+love face doodles and these weren’t bad….?! anyways after one hard brush face doodle that wasn’t bad (but man do I need to practice drawing shoulders/bust up shots. I went to this other brush that I can’t spell…. And THIS IS WHERR THE MAGIC HAPPENED!!!!!! YES THIS WAS IT!!!!!!!!!

—and well of course not all the drawings were good…. and ahhhhh yeah I need to practice on side

—I wanted to do some skkr practice as you know what happened……yesterday…. I wasn’t gonna do it since it seemed a pain to switch to my ss folder but I just did it. And at this point the better in my pen was fighting for its life so I was quickly trying to get it down and hello??!??? while this is still not reaching the idea way I want to draw her. ITS SO MUCHHHHH BETTERER THAN PREF ATTEMPTS….. IM SO HAPPY…… also I think issue might be her longer narrow face…..? but I am very very pleasantly pleased at how she turned out overall. So happy. These day really turned around in the best way ever and im very happy heh.

I didn't have internet for a while and I couldn't look up for hand references on Pinterest so I finally made good use of my 2k + reaction pics folder on my phone 😂 | Ko-fi

Weird thing enjoyer found another weird thing to enjoy

Various Frankenstein doodlings. Abt half were from reference half from imagination.

Most of these are related to the Royal Ballet version which I watched a video of the other day. So good and such a wild combination. The elegant medium and the grotesque subject matter.

I also had to draw that amazing puppet version that was made for the Hamburg state opera. lil cutie he is

WHY IS DRAWING HANDS SO FUCKING HARD

oh jeez. here’s comes the highlight of the day n the biggest/crazy part. okay well it’s not really crazy but feels like TO ME.

THE GAA PIECE!!!!! REMMEBER HOW I WANTED TO WORK ON IT!!!!! I FINALLY DID!!!!!’ WHOOOOP WHOOOOPP. how fitting it is that I do it, one day before the d-day ahaha ♥️

—I had like general idea of focusing on the guy with him bending like to get some kind of present and bending poses are like. the bane of my existence ngl. so I had to find refs and ha……..as I knew that refs didn’t exist. like I mean I couldn’t find it. where hell is my “bending slightly” ref pose?! none that’s where. so I just had to start it without it.

—so. the pose. 😐 I tried many attempts (it was two/three) and while while it looks kinda bending over. it felt too much or just — was off. but THEN…. OMG… I don’t even know where it came from (wait I think it was from general idea of robo/bean method I saw on proko vid) I just used two circles that are overalapping and made sure that one was more bending over and that fixed it???! I GOT IT IT???????? im freaking awesome that’s what. ahahah

—yeah yeah as you can see from my notes the pose wasn’t perfect felt off and stuff but anyways. yeah intially I had the idea of him actually bending to receive the present and it would be maybeee ambiguous who it is or maybe it’s the son. and like had floating ideas of sibs being there. but when I got to drawing the going to recieve the present, I was like hmmm. maybe it’s best that he’s already received it and has it in hand kind of scene? and I decided to just go with the son being in foreground (large) who is the one whl gave it.

—here is (above) my rough first sketch of the idea where I redraw the pose (using heh new method to do bending pose….!!! <333) and this time he’s like holding the present or whatever and did scribble of the son in then foreground. I couldn’t be bothered for actual trying to draw in son in foreground like that. like no.

—after that I went over to drawing over and doing the clothes and more finalised sketch and I was really liking it!!! it was coming along VERY nicely. but well. yeah there was a lot to do and focus as I did the notes there. but that was for future me….. sigh I think I knew on some level that this wasn’t just gonna work out. but well it doesn’t hurt to try you know.

—I came back after a bit, procrastinating really cuz I did NOT wanna draw this guy in foreground…! I knew how it’s gonna be like. but yeah I did get around to doing it. practice n shit first. well it’s not really practice lol.

—it was just trying to get an overall feel for how things should be placed/be like and it was just blocks that I was working with to help figure stuff out and yeah I don’t think I knew what I was doing but thought I gist of it (yeah. No. I didn’t 😔)

—yeah and then I drew pose for the son so I can get a feel for how the pose would be like and lololol it did feel… for the gesture… so stiff… I think it might have to do with how there’s no diff angles. I guess. and hey… you know what. looking at this now. it’s not actually bad…….? I think maybe there should be a more an overlap but not bad and I do think lol gaa is looking super awkward with his posing. looking at the sketch of the pose I can see it might have to do with how weirdly out the pelvis is…? when it feels like he’s not really bending over in this one hmmm. but anyways im happy to know that I can still came back to this one.

—anyways I did do a draw over the son pose and my GOSH was it hard to even try to find 💀💀💀💀 ref… I don’t know how to draw the stupid back of his or his clothes. and well. I guess that he would be wearing more casual clothes anyways but well. whatever.

—yeah after doing this I realised. yeah no sadly this is Was not going to work out 💀💀💀💀💀 (but like I said looking at this now from the future it’s the not bad??? I think may haps be too much distance between them butttt??? Also yeah the son’s pose looks weirdly stiff but yeah.)

—I was initially going to for a similar thing (going to reach for presents/holding presents) but well. I did try to doodle something after that but I was like. maybe I need to step back and think properly and stuff……

and so came the second idea….!!!!!!