Sprite Edit. 

If you ask me if I was made in God's imagine I would adamantly decline. However, if you asked me if she was made with some grander plan or design in mind, I would affirm because that is the opinion of mine.

I'm gonna go on a rant here, and its another long one, so just bear with it and sit with me a minute longer. Its been rough couple of days for me. And I have been tired and irritable. Its one of those moments where I find myself asking for guidance. And I found it this morning sitting on the couch watching TV. There's this one bit in The Phantom Menace when Anakin is placed before the Jedi Council on what I can only describe as an interview, and the Jedi Masters are questioning him, testing his abilities. Yoda asks Anakin how he is feeling, Anakin being the kid that he is, he answers that he is cold and he is missing his Mom. Yoda professes that they can see right through him, that they can sense great fear and anger in Anakin. Anakin kinda just shrugs it off like what does that have to do with anything. "Everything" Yoda says "Anger leads to Hate, Hate leads to Suffering." And in all their combined wisdom of that council they decide that Anakin is not fit to be trained as a Jedi. They refuse this boy, who had only known the labours of slavery, and the heat of the two Tatooine Suns on his brow. Despite them knowing at that time that his midichlorian count was the highest ever seen, and they themselves seeing his 'attunement' with the force during their tests. He was prophesied, he was the Chosen One. They failed that boy. Qui-Gonn Jinn intercedes again in this boys life, he kinda just tells the council to shove it where even the two Tatooine Suns can't shine and he's gonna train that boy whether they like it or not. Qui-Gonn is killed shortly after that by a Sith. For some reason even after Qui-Gonn's death they reluctantly allow Obi-Wan Kenobi to train Anakin as his Padawan Learner. Emphasis on the Reluctantly. Every step of the way, one master or another is hounding him and scrutinizing him. Their own misdeeds and failures lead Anakin down a path that becomes the Dark Side of the Force. They tell him everything that he holds dear is wrong. Despite his feelings just being Human, he misses his Mom. He loves Padme. He's scared that hes gonna loose them. He's told he shouldn't be those things, and he's wrong for doing so. For a group that says only the Sith deal in absolutes, they have a lot of rules that say that this is thee correct way of doing things. I feel like if Qui-Gonn had lived Anakin would have gotten the support that he needed proper, and he never would have turned down the darkside. That is not to say Anakin is innocent in his future actions at all. But, he was almost only ever given fear and anger. And those things did lead to Suffering. For him, for his wife, his children. His friends, and ultimately the whole galaxy. I've spoken recently also in exhaustive detail about how I've been angry. It's a burden on my spirit. I am not comparing my anger here to a Sith Lord, but offering alternative solution one that Anakin was probably never given that wasn't in some pompous speech. You have been told that Anger leads to Suffering. But thats an abosulte. There's another choice. Forgiveness can also be followed by it. That is not to say to drop your resolve, to make the so clearly bloodened hands stainless, or the guilty blameless. But to Forgive, is to not feel Anger over it any longer. To not let resentment control you. And instead of teaching that Emotional Attachment becomes the Fear of Loss, they should have taught that there is No Such Thing as Seperation. Even in their tenets it says that there is no death, there is only the Force. And that if Love meant or was worth anything that it would still be worth something after they are gone. Fear and Anger are only falliable and Human. But to Forgive is something far greater. George R.R. Martin once wrote "The Gods have fashioned us for Love. That is our Great Glory." Hatred, Yet Forgivess. Anger, Yet Peace. And Love, even so come despite all these things. These things are that great Glory that we were fashioned for. This is the way.

So I am gonna define a word here. Philosophy. Which meaning is regularly used as " A particular system of philosophical thought". I'm going to challenge that definition and modify it to this. "A particular system of thinking, feeling, or believing.". Now I'm going to explain why.

A philosophy, I believe, is the internalized intention. It is your thought processes, your reasonings, your logics, your feelings. These are not apparent, visible or measurable by any metric, rubric, or standard. After a certain age they become the basis for most of your meaningful actions, or at least for some of us.

Now your actions are separate from your thoughts and likewise vice versa. I am sure you have had an argument where you have you been "Oooh I could just throttle you right now.". But you don't, or won't. Another example you have probably have told yourself to get out of bed, or goto the gym. But your body for whatever reason didn't. Or at least I have that problem. I can think of one example of where my father in a moment of frustration slammed his fist into a pinball machine that he was repairing, breaking it more. His intention was to fix the problem. His actions complicated it further. (He later fixed the problem he caused, and the original issue as well)

Actions are Separate from Thoughts. They are, however, also something important, they are the externalized expression. These things are physical, they can be seen, felt, or heard. They are measurable. They are at times distinct and at other times subtle.

There is this age old question, "Who are you? Your thoughts? Or your actions?". I say to you, both. These things together, your philosophies AND your actions are who you are. If you made a Venn Diagram of these two things, that space where the two overlap is what I'm going to call "Thee Identity". These two things are symbiotic. They work off each other, they benefit from each other, they evolve and become more complex together. Or they should at least.

The integrity of who you are is based on how much those two things overlap. Think of Integrity like its a boat. If you puncture the side of that boat, you have now compromised it's integrity. It is now sinking. That's an exaggeration for dramatic effect, but if who you are becomes compromised. It's comparable to that.

Now to summarize. Your Identity, who you are, is a beautiful mixture of two contradictions. How you think, and how you act. The immeasurable and the measurable. Integrity is how much those two things overlap. It No matter what you believe, your experiences or your biases, your identity if formed by those two things. It is your DUTY as a living person to think about your actions and to act by thinking.

Seek after unconditional love and it's definition, all other things will follow.

thinking about how orpheus turning to look back at eurydice isn’t a sign of mortal frailness but a sign of love

We will all find different foundations to set our lives on. Giving us, individually, aspects of the divine. I found mine, and it is Love. Yours might be something different. If you broke yourself down to its smallest pieces? What do those pieces look like, what do they act like, how do they think and feel? We are given different traits and stories, and each one of them is valid.

Custom Wire Wrapped Necklaces

These are the stones I have available for wire wraps, for those of you who are interested!

If you would like to claim one, please be sure to read this entire post!

So here’s the rundown. Below is a picture with each stone numbered, and below that is the name of each stone, along with the price.

The price includes the following: the stone wrapped in the metal of your choice (sterling silver, 14k gold fill, 14k rose gold fill), an 18″ chain finished with a handmade clasp, and it includes free shipping worldwide! 

You will choose the style they’d like it wrapped in. There are three example pics below. 

Payment is due when the stone is claimed and all the options are chosen (metal, style, etc). PLEASE NOTE - these will be completed in late May 2023. I will aim to have them done before the end of that month. They take a long time to make, please make sure you’re okay with the wait before ordering. I put the utmost care into this and have extreme attention to detail, and when that combines with my busy schedule, it means that it can take a while. I always aim to get them done early, but sometimes it’s not possible. If you are buying one for a certain event or deadline please be sure to let me know when ordering, so I can let you know if it's possible for it to be completed before then!

To claim: send me a message over the instant messenger with your email address, the country you’re in, the stone you’d like to claim, the metal you’d like it wrapped in, and the style you’d like it wrapped in. I’ll then send your invoice and get started on your pendant! :) 

*Note* These are some of my best, highest quality stones! I’ve been collecting (and hoarding, if I’m honest) hundreds of top-quality stones for 10 years to build this collection I can share with you.

Here are all the stones:

Brecciated Azurite - $140

High-Grade Old Stock Ocean Jasper - $140

High-Grade Old Stock Ocean Jasper - $140

Lavender Quartz Facet - $155

Highest Grade Rainbow Moonstone - $180

Highest Grade Rainbow Moonstone - $175

Deep Red Garnet - $145

Watermelon Tourmaline - $145

Blue Apatite - $135

Genuine Spectrolite from Finland - $150

XXL Genuine Spectrolite from Finland - $325

Rainbow Obsidian - $135

Gold Sheen Obsidian - $120

Silver Sheen Obsidian - $115

Silver Sheen Obsidian - $120

Lavender Chalcedony - $135

Australian Crystal Opal Triplet - $125

Fire Agate - $125

Mozambique Rose Quartz - $120

Blue Labradorite - $125

Rare Purple Labradorite $145

Rainbow Moonstone - $130

True Silver Moonstone - $140

Lattice Sunstone - $140

Confetti Sunstone - $135

Star Ruby - $140

Chatoyant Sapphire - $160

Red Rutilated Quartz Facet - $135

Epidote Included Quartz Facet - $140

Clear Quartz Facet - $115

Black Tourmaline & Epidote Included Quartz Facet - $185

Harlequin Quartz - $160

Phantom Amethyst w/ Inclusions - $150

Ethiopian Opal - $155

Rare Genuine Andamooka Opal from Australia (15.8 carats) - $435

Vietnamese Ruby Gourd Carving (22.75 carats) - $425

Cat's Eye Pink California Tourmaline (San Diego co.) (12.3 carats) - $230

Morganite from Russia - $170

Chrome Diopside from Russia - $180

Pyritized Ammonite Fossil from Russia - $180

Dianite (Russian Blue Jade) - $160

Amazonite from Russia - $120

"Blueberry" Azurite Geode from Russia - $140

Uvarovite Garnet from Russia - $185

Mongolian Turquoise - $140

These are the styles you can choose from (I do very minimalist wrapping so the stone really shines through! And the wrapping is super sturdy!) 

Style #1 (prongs): 

Style #2 (symmetrical): 

Style #3 (asymmetrical):  

I will cross out each stone as they are claimed! 

Extra little note: I have some square wire if you prefer that to the round, just let me know!

Thanks, everyone :) 

People will envy your strength and success but not the struggle that brought you to it.

I think often how we overuse words. And how because of that, words that had potency and weight, sometimes now feel trite or even almost empty, half spoken without conviction. "Beautiful" it's almost as trite and vague as it comes now, it's lost it's meaning. There is no singular word that I can give to you to describe her radiance adequately. There is no word to define the way my heart rushed when her skin touched mine. I thought my heart would never be still again. It may have settled but my feelings sure haven't. It's still racing trying to find some sort of definition. It is like a gnat trying to quantify and calculate the breadth width and height of a mountain or some sort of decimal trying to comprehend all of creation.

I think it's appropriate that I changed out my head lights today. God probably knew it would be harder for me to see without you.