We Will All Find Different Foundations To Set Our Lives On. Giving Us, Individually, Aspects Of The Divine.

We are on the couch Your sleeping head in my lap You begin to drool

It was that new years eve of 2019 going into 2020 and I had bought a bottle of prosecco. It was a last minute sorta thing like a surprise for my then girlfriend and I to drink she didn't know about it, however, sparkling wine is supposed to be served cold, right, so I stuck it in the freezer. Alcohol takes a lot to freeze, I didn't think nothing of it. I was Bartender for years at that point hadn't had any mishaps. I still keep vodka in my freezer even now. Anyway eleven thirty rolls around and I'm like I'm gonna bust out the champagne. I go and open the bottle, yeah, because the bottom of it froze the pressure made it so that when I popped the cork, it violently exploded off. Shattering the neck of the bottle, and careening the cork into the ceiling light fixture and spilling this half frozen slurry of sparkling wine all over the kitchen floor and the cabinets above me. Erin came rushing into the kitchen and I had to have been standing there with some half stupid half surprised look, I guess. We both just laughed and laughed. She laughed until her stomach hurt. We cleaned up whatever mess I had made trying to be seasonal and romantic, we drank screwdrivers for the rest of the night. The following year of 2021 it was literally during that big ol snow storm we got. It started that same night as Valentines you remember? Morgan hadnt been someone's Valentine before. Not officially. Shed never gotten flowers or other gifts before for Valentines. So I was Morgans first, I also got her this big ol hunting knife because she was big into knives. Anyway it was like midnight o'clock, and she had just gotten home from the airport, like the actual airport she worked there as like an usher for handicap people. And she was tired dude she gotten home ate like a bunch of biscuits and gravy that had been sitting out all day, and she came over in her pajamas and was just this beautiful mess that I completely adored.  I wrote this poem about the experience "It's an image. It was February, Winter. The moon had just rose full again. My anxious heart still beating, as she walked up the stairs, she didn't knock she just entered. The warm light from the side of my house cast sight on the Snow caught in her Raven Hair." And we sat on the couch the rest of the night and watched YouTube videos. It was probably like the best and the worst Valentines kisses I had ever gotten, day old biscuits and gravy breath and all. She sent me pictures of her with the knife and roses later that I had used as my phone background for line months. And a voice message of her going "Fuuuck Yoou".      whenever I'm in a bad mood sometimes, it's like I can remember some of the worst things that I've done or someone else has and I can stew in it for hours or days, or in the worst case entire seasons of my life. But sometimes I get glimpses of stuff like that, and its just so Human to me, and it isnt as taxing to breathe after that.

Who knew feelings were this hard to understand, sort and satisfy.

My Mom does this thing where, when she turns on a movie it's like she is watching it for the first time, Everytime. Some of her favorites include, Titanic, Armageddon, Pearl Harbor. And for a long time growing up, I didn't really understand it, until a couple of years ago when I listened to Anaïs Mitchell's "Hadestown". It's about that old myth of Orpheus and Eurydice, where upon his wife's death Orpheus goes down to the depths of hell, to bargain for his wife's life and he does so successfully. Only to end up loosing her again. It's a tragedy. But one of my favorite tales, I could hear again and again. Which is funny, because in one of the songs the narrator comments on that. "Cause here’s the thing. To know how it ends. And still begin to sing it again. As if it might turn out (different) this time". I think it's just so Human. Hoping against all odds, hoping for change, even when we know the story ends. We keep hoping, even so. We sing the song again. We hope again.

A mouth-watering fuck-ton of hand angle references.

By Shadowcross on DA.

I believe we are apt to see the truth as lies. Lies sometimes are alluring, sweeter to the ear, or easier to believe. We trick even ourselves, justifying them and enabling them. Pain and Anger are the greatest among the liars. They hurt us, so we doubt the truth. We define our Identity by our Truths. I will share with you what I have thought, felt and learned. Love, the complete commitment to the well being and happiness of yourself, another person or people without any condition or modifier. Integrity, the practice of being uncompromised in one's values and actions. Kindness, it is a behavior defined by consideration and concern. It is gentle, and it is generous. We become the truths we believe in. We accept the lives or the lies we agree with. We can choose, more importantly You can choose these things. But do not do this partially, or reluctantly, you have to accept it wholly. It is a challenge and it takes time. I am still learning. But if you allow them to they will change you.

A car just came by and illuminated her face for nothing more than a breathe but in that moment I saw her. In her a beauty that has never before been rivaled or matched. My heart paced faster and my eyes watered and all I wanted was to have my hand on her face.

I just recently started listening to Hozier. And like... I get it now

If you ask me if I was made in God's imagine I would adamantly decline. However, if you asked me if she was made with some grander plan or design in mind, I would affirm because that is the opinion of mine.

I had this thought occur to me today. They say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I suppose tho that a Katydid cannot sleep when a Lark sings. Something may be beautiful to you, but it may be damning or dangerous to another.