Angels With Silver Wings Shouldn’t Know Suffering

All I want in life is for Vanya to destroy the world with a kazoo instead of a violin

The White Kazoo

Sorry to bother you but could I request some headcanons for autistic!Vanya? Thank you so much and have a wonderful day!

aaaaahhhhh I didn’t realize other people hc’d Vanya as autistic!! As an aspie, this makes me very happy.

She learned to read sheet music overnight. Actually playing the violin was a different story, but within a few days she could sight read better than many adults.

Unexpected physical contact makes her very nauseated! Do not!

Long sleeves keep you safe.

If someone starts talking or the music playing has words, she can kiss her train of thought goodbye.

Allison has to train her on how memes work.

She only writes her name in all caps, because VANYA is made with all straight lines.

Only verbal when she absolutely has to be.

She wrote her entire book in five days: No leaving the house, only sleeping when she couldn’t physically stay awake, etc. Her orchestra director even called to make sure she hadn’t died.

Often completely misses sarcasm when other people use it, but can sling it herself left and right. Even she’s confused by this.

She’s incredibly reliable. With a memory like a steel trap and an intense fear of letting people down, she has no choice but to be.

Rock concerts seem like they would be her worst nightmare, but she loves them. She just has to have time to prepare herself for that much stimulation.

Dissociation Queen

She wasn’t diagnosed until her twenties, when she actually went to therapy.

At first she was very upset by it.

“Great. So not only do I suck at everything, but my brain is messed up on a fundamental level. Love that for me.”

She’s since learned to identify and manage her symptoms. She can now avoid situations that would cause extreme distress, and somewhat keep track of Social Mistakes™ and learn from them.

She even joined a group for autistic adults at her therapists suggestion. She related to them more than anyone in her life.

“They’re just people. There’s nothing wrong with any of them. Maybe that means there’s nothing wrong with me either.”

okay but like… autistic vanya?  god tier.

like, think about it!!

-hates the texture of oatmeal with a fucking passion

-doesn’t like it when people (reginald) yell at her

-auditory processing issues (she doesn’t do what daddy tells her to do because she can’t understand him)

-Strange Child

-hard time connecting with people, even normal people/strangers/people she’s known for a long time

-quiet as fuck

-epic meltdowns because of small/strange stimuli

-special interest in superpowers (reginald did his very best to suppress this) and music (violin specifically)

oh, how to draw the line between wrath and mercy?

Vanya Hargreeves Was Completely Valid In Everything She Did

Ok. So.

Vanya Hargreeves—I’m just gonna say it, is the most relatable character I’ve ever seen. Specifically Ellen Page’s adaptation. Here’s why.

Vanya is what happens when somebody doesn’t respect themself, gives too much, and gets hurt.

In her childhood, Vanya was raised to see herself as nothing. To place everyone above her—her siblings, specifically. She was supposed to be small, of course so that she wouldn’t be dangerous. However, that just made her incredibly depressed.

She didn’t just crave connection and respect though. She wanted to give it to others, because that’s what she was taught—that others deserved it, not her. That’s why she left the lights on for Five. That’s why she reaches out to him again. That’s why she talks to Allison. That’s why she reaches out to Leonard. Why she talks to the first chair violinist in the bathroom. Because she wants to be needed, to be useful, and loved in the only way she knows how. For others.

Which brings me to my second point. Vanya Hargreeves is not a selfish person. A lot of people seem to think that because she is shy and anxious and self defeating that she’s self centered, but that’s not the case. She reaches out multiple times to people, tries to do what they would need, because she cares. She genuinely cares.

So what happens when someone takes advantage of that low self respect, and that need to love and be loved?

Leonard fucking Asshat Jenkins.

Leonard was raised by an abusive father, and boy oh boy did he learn a few tricks from him. He molded himself into everything Vanya could need, and she took the bait, because she was desperate. She’d tried multiple things already—attempting to validate herself and her experiences by writing a book, giving lessons to children, taking medication, reaching out. So why not let this man be a good thing in her life? If he ever treats her wrong, it’s her fault, right?

Then Allison tells her her secret. Vanya didn’t remember being rumored—a very close parallel to how a lot of people deal with trauma. Indeed, being locked in a cage and treated how she was was traumatic. Vanya is angry. She’s been shown that she’s worth something, and now someone who’s repeatedly let her down and only recently been a better sister to her has turned her back on her by telling her this gut wrenching truth from her past. Remembering trauma alone is huge. But hearing it from one of the people who unwittingly hurt you? Can you really blame her for lashing out? Of course, it was an accident how far it went, but her anger, if not right, was still understandable.

And then Leonard. Leonard, the person who she trusted, was just out to hurt her too. Vanya recognizes this—this isn’t the first time she’s been used for her powers. So for the second time, she becomes angry not at herself, as she’d always done in the past, but at someone else. She lashes out. This man who’d filled her with such happiness, happiness that turned to poison. Someone she’d been intimate with. Someone she loved.

Then as a cherry on the fucking cake, her siblings lock her in a cage. Imagine going through an abusive relationship, discovering past trauma, and also discovering you have fucking super powers—then the only people you have left, the people who are supposed to help—lock you up. They’re scared of you. They’re just like everyone else. There’s no hope.

So yeah, Vanya Hargreeves at that point was hurt, confused, lost, and oh, sooo angry. And I think she had some pretty fuckin good reasons. She had no reason to hold back. She’d been holding back all her life.

While trying to kill the world is really shitty, look into Ellen Page’s lifeless glowing eyes and tell me Vanya Hargreeves wasn’t just a puppet being controled by her hurt. Her illnesses. Her trauma, her grief for her past and the loss of trust she’d endured. Tell me she was evil. I’ll tell you she’s me.

Luther after Five tells him about the second apocalypse:

The Umbrella Academy Season 2 + foreshadowing

+ Bonus:

I’m calling it

I think they’re gonna kill Sparrow!Ben in season 3.

the umbrella academy + emo kylo ren tweets (part 1 here)

the umbrella academy season 2 + who needs context?