Anons Truly Are The Enemy Of Peace. I Don't Know Who Could Have Possibly Done That. Who Could Have The

Why is everyone else's so accurate?

from now on your tumblr nickname is whatever you get from this sexual identity generator  ☆

I'M GREEN TOO

Of course Bill waits until AFTER Weed Day to make us green.

As I already told Stanley, I am fine. Playing a drum to get rid of zombie spiders isn't going to be "overexerting".

Hi Grunkle Ford! So remember the ask I sent about getting rid of zombie spiders.... and how I said it wasn't relevant to anything...

Okay so, believe it or not, it actually IS relevant, and Mabel and I were wondering if you would like to come over to California to be part of our drum quartet

Normally, I would be ecstatic at an opportunity such as this! However, due to a health issue (which I can most definitely still function with and does not affect my ability to play drums), Stanley said I'm "not allowed to leave the house unless it's on fire". Of course Mr. Stubborn-as-a-mule is the one to tell me to follow my doctor's orders.

I'm not saying I'm not attracted to my husband! I'm very much attracted to him, that's why I married him. The thing is, I'm not attracted to him because he's a man. I'm attracted to him because of who he is as a person and what he means to me.

pssssst

*hands you a note..it says : “greetings homosexual father”

@daughter-of-the-author

Is... is your other father not also homosexual? I would hope so, considering we're married.

Considering the fact that you are larger than me (although not by much), the amount of thermal energy you possess would be greater than mine. So, yes, you are hotter.

Sorry but like. How did YOU get voted tumblrs sexyman or whatever.

HOW.

@pacifica-elise-northwest

Its obvious, im the hotter one.

moss boy moss boy. Ugly little moss baby. die of fungus (/j)

I was going to reply with snark, but I noticed you were a Will Wood fan, and I have nothing bad to say about those people.

You have a child? How. How is that even possible. Did the child just... spawn there? Did you give birth? What happened?

dad quit cursing I can hear you yelling through the screen..

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!!!!!!!!

ALSO DON’T CALL ME DAD ON HERE THE PEOPLE ARE GONNA THINK I’M ACCEPTING OFFERS

I have 94 tabs open. The majority of those are YouTube videos.

Does anyone want to play a little game?

It's called "how many open tabs do you have on your phone"

I'm gonna start: 393 tabs in chrome...

Most of it are Ao3 tabs and Tumblr Masters-Posts to various intriguing/ interesting AUs

I'm gonna tag someone bc I want to, but anyone feel free to reblog and play along...

or ignore it... @majoringinfanfiction ...?

These jellybeans are fucking "bussin" or whatever the fuck kids say nowadays.

I got them off of some guy in an alley and. Woah. I've never tasted anything like it. I feel like I'm ready to ascend.

I will never regret this.

hi yeah it's me, the previous anon, stanley. did you know every day can be weed day if you try hard enough? i do now, sixer! also i was talking about the heinz guy over there, who i beat in some random competition! something called "tumbling sexyman" or something like that. and i was talking about the silly triangle guy (who was a wash)! lastly, who's ur husband and why wasn't i invited to the wedding???

-💵 pines

Fiddleford is my husband. And you were invited, but you let Gompers eat the invitation because you thought it would give him the ability to speak. Or are you too high to remember that?