You Have A Child? How. How Is That Even Possible. Did The Child Just... Spawn There? Did You Give Birth?

Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you

I'm sure you want to, but I'm married. Sorry to disappoint.

I'm weird? You can't even space or capitalize correctly.

For the past 10 hours, my notifications have been stuck on a minimum of four. I keep checking. There's nothing else to see there. But it keeps telling me I have four notifications. I've checked my asks, messages, cleared my cache (which took embarrassingly long), and signed out and signed back in. Nothing is working. I'm tweaking.

if I were to bite your ear, would I also become moss?

asking for a friend

Most likely. But do not do that. I will simply moss you instead. Congratulations, you are helping the moss spread.

Oh, you haven't found his "vase" yet. It's a bong.

Grunkle Ford, did Grunkle Stan kill the pope?

Yes. He was smoking weed with the Pope and caused him to have a stroke.

Fine, but you need to be more careful. Most people don't just let metal wires get stuck in their limbs. I'll help you in a moment, let me get the pliers.

stanford i got a buncha metal wires stuck all up in my beard. @ fiddlesfords

Not again. At this point, I'm just going to make you shave it off.

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking

I think I was possessed. I genuinely don't remember typing that.

first 5 faceless emojis are how your summers gonna go

stunkle

I got bored, and decided to make something in Inkscape. I don't care for Bill in the slightest, but the eras of his life do have a pleasing aesthetic.

This is all one image, but I can separate them if requested.

As I already told Stanley, I am fine. Playing a drum to get rid of zombie spiders isn't going to be "overexerting".

Hi Grunkle Ford! So remember the ask I sent about getting rid of zombie spiders.... and how I said it wasn't relevant to anything...

Okay so, believe it or not, it actually IS relevant, and Mabel and I were wondering if you would like to come over to California to be part of our drum quartet

Normally, I would be ecstatic at an opportunity such as this! However, due to a health issue (which I can most definitely still function with and does not affect my ability to play drums), Stanley said I'm "not allowed to leave the house unless it's on fire". Of course Mr. Stubborn-as-a-mule is the one to tell me to follow my doctor's orders.