“Ranboo: Tubbo And I Don’t Use Pet Names. Tommyinnit: I See. Hey, What Do Bees Make? Ranboo: Honey?

[bench trio putting camera at their eye levels]

tubbo: lets do my height :]

ranboo: yeah lets do tubbos height [puts the laptop on the floor]

i have a nonsensical au idea in my head where chuuya does decide to take up lippman’s job, but he does it after dazai’s defection, so for years dazai is stuck with his ex’s face staring at him from every billboard. also, because he’s dazai, he obviously tells no one of his history with chuuya, so it just sort of becomes a thing in the agency that dazai has beef with chuuya-nakahara-from-from-the-forbes-highest-paid-actors-list.

atsushi: dazai-san hates chuuya nakahara...? the one in the movies....?

*cue incoherent seething noises from dazai somewhere in the background*

gabriel, throwing an arm around jack: ah! my nephewlim!

sad revived wilbur hcs are out ive just decided, a week after wilbur gets revived tubbo and ranboo get waken up by a noise on the roof of the mansion and theyre all freaked out n shit because what if that was dream? or even the eggpire folks??? something's wrong and michael might be in danger

and they finally get up to the roof with their full netherite armour on, stacked with potions and swords in their hands. only to find wilbur there, busting into the apiary that foolish built so he can say hi to all the bees. he's getting stung by a bunch of them but god he just wanted that honey so much and it's been so long since he's heard this much sound

Never forget that the Doctor's aunt, High Chancellor Flavia, was named Acting President by the Doctor, who wanted to run away from his own Lord President duties.

She adopted an intelligent cat as an advisor while Acting President. She named this Gallifreyan cat....the Doctor.

So notorious little shit of the family, Time Lord Renegade "the Doctor," ran away from Gallifrey, dumping all of his responsibilities on his aunt, and she responded by replacing him with a pet cat.

Casually watching Netflix's live action Avatar for it's beautiful set design and then suddenly-

"IS THAT KEVIN TRAN?"

Dream, standing on a chair: The floor is hating Tubbo!

Tommy: *Leaps into Wilbur’s arms*

Wilbur: *Climbs onto the file cabinet while carrying Tommy*

Ranboo: *Jumps up on the windowsill*

Niki: *Sits gingerly on the table*

Puffy: *Lounges on a chair with her legs on the table*

Tubbo: *Lies on the floor*

Everyone: Tubbo nO-

Gabriel: can you guys at least try to see this from my perspective?

Cas: [crouches down]

Dean: [kneels down]

Sam: [sits on the floor]

Gabriel:

Gabriel: I fucking hate you all

Wilbur Soot: Hey Tubbo, have you seen Tommy around?

Tubbo: No, what's up?

Wilbur: Tommy messaged me saying "I hate men women are poggers" and I answered back "You're a man though" and he replied "I can fix this, give me a minute" so I asked him half an hour ago what he meant by that, and he still hasn't answered.

Wilbur: I'm not worried about him or anything, but I still don't know what that means.

Tubbo: It means he needs a minute to fix it :3

Wilbur: Yes but what does that mean???

Tubbo: I dunno how to explain it better, Bossman, he just needs a minute to fix the problem.

Wilbur: ...Forget it. Ranboo-

Ranboo: Just give him a minute Wilbur, he'll fix it :3

i fucked around on a random incorrect quote generator but with sbi/bee duo/chuckle sammie

(made with this)

SBI

Phil: I think we're missing something.

Wilbur: Teamwork?

Techno: Cohesion?

Tommy: A general sense of what we’re doing?

-

(Phil's helping Wilbur out after they get injured, while the others are watching)

Techno: How does Wilbur look?

Tommy: A little better than you, actually.

-

Phil: Tonight, one of you will betray us.

Wilbur: Is it me, Phil?

Phil: No, it’s not you.

Techno: Is it me, Phil?

Phil: It’s not you either.

Tommy: Is it me, Phil?

Phil:

Phil, mockingly: Is IT mE Phil?

-

Phil: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB?

Wilbur: Bold of you to assume I was born at all.

Techno: I personally was created in a lab.

Tommy: I just straight up spawned lol.

-

Phil: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Wilbur: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Techno: I got distracted about halfway through.

Tommy: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

-

Phil: Why is Wilbur so sad?

Techno: They took one of those “Which Character Are You?” quizzes

Phil: And...?

Wilbur: I got Tommy.

-

Phil: You know those things will kill you, right?

Wilbur, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Techno, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Tommy: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

-

Phil: *Gently taps table*

Wilbur: *Taps back*

Tommy: What are they doing?

Techno: Morse code.

Phil: *Aggressively taps table*

Wilbur: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

-

Phil: Can I be frank with you guys?

Wilbur: Sure, but I don’t see how changing your name is gonna help.

Tommy: Can I still be Tommy?

Techno: Shh, let Frank speak.

-

Bee Dou

Tubbo, struggling to keep upright in their 1 inch heels: Yeah, I-I don’t really think heels are for me

Ranboo, pointing at them and walking flawlessly in sparkly golden 6 inch heels: WEAK.

-

Tubbo: Look. I may not be a saint, but it's not like I’ve killed anybody. I’m not an arsonist. I’ve never found a wallet outside of an IHOP and thought about returning it but saw the owner lived out of state so just took the cash and dropped the wallet back on the ground.

Ranboo: Okay, that's really specific, and that makes me think that you definitely did do that.

-

Tubbo: A theif.

Ranboo: Thief?

Tubbo: Theif.

Ranboo: I before E, except after C.

Tubbo: Thceif.

Ranboo: No.

-

Tubbo: I made tea.

Ranboo: I don’t want tea.

Tubbo: I did not make tea for you. This is my tea.

Ranboo: Then why are you telling me?

Tubbo: It is a conversation starter.

Ranboo: That’s a lousy conversation starter.

Tubbo: Oh, is it? We are conversing. Checkmate.

-

Tubbo: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Ranboo: What did you do?

Tubbo: Nobody died.

Ranboo: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

-

Tubbo: Ranboo and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Ranboo: Sentences.

Tubbo: Don't interrupt me.

-

Tubbo: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Ranboo: Thank you

Tubbo: I didn't say that was a good thing

Ranboo: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

-

Tubbo: Change is inedible.

Ranboo: Don't you mean inevitable?

Tubbo, spitting out coins: No, I did not.

-

Tubbo, talking to Ranboo on the phone: Did you preheat the oven like I told you to?

Ranboo: You bet!

Tubbo: At what temperature?

Ranboo: 535.

Tubbo: That's the clock.

Ranboo:

Tubbo:

Ranboo: 536.

-

Chuckle Sandwich

Charlie, whispering to Ted, who’s on the phone with Schlatt: Ask them something!

Ted: How are you feeling?

Schlatt: Fine.

Charlie: Something personal!

Ted: At what age did you first get your period?

-

(The squad is trying to con some random guy)

Charlie: Um, Ted, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?

Ted: We need money!

Charlie: You're scamming him?

Ted: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?

Charlie: What?! No way!

Ted: Why not? We already stole Schlatt!

Schlatt: Hey guys

Charlie: No, we didn't. Schlatt can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!

Schlatt: I wanna steal

-

Charlie: You have to apologize to Ted

Schlatt: Fine.

Schlatt: 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

-

Charlie: Hey Ted,

Ted: Yes?

Charlie: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Ted:

Ted: Where’s Schlatt?

-

Charlie: Are you sure this is the right direction?

Ted: Certainly, I'm as sure as I am honest!

Schlatt: In that case, we're definitely lost.

-

Charlie: If you had to choose between Ted and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Schlatt: That depends, how much money are we talking about?

Ted: Schlatt!

Charlie: 63 cents.

Schlatt: I'll take the money.

Ted: SCHLATT!!!

-

Ted: If I accidentally sat on a voodoo doll of myself, would I be trapped forever in that position, doomed to starve to death?

Schlatt: How am I supposed to know?

Charlie: You say, as if we don’t use you as a source of knowledge.

Schlatt: *sighs*

Schlatt: You wouldn't be trapped.

-

Schlatt: Naturally, we are on the cutting edge of technology.

Ted, amazed: Wow...

Charlie, to Ted: Well what does that mean?

Ted: I don't know.

Ted, to Schlatt: What does that mean?

-

Ted: If Schlatt and I were drowning, who would you save?

Charlie: You two can’t swim?

Schlatt: It’s a hypothetical question, Charlie! who would you save?

Charlie: my time and effort.

-

Ted, driving Schlatt and Charlie: So how was your day?

Charlie: We almost got surprise adopted!

Ted: What?

Schlatt: We almost got kidnapped.

Ted: Oh, okay.

Ted: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

-

Ted: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container.

Schlatt: The cow???

Ted: What?

Charlie: Schlatt, W H Y?