I Want To Address The White People Who Say Nothing About Being “part Indian” Until You’re Defending

My flirting level: Kenneth

My parents did that with me, and I turned out fi- oh. Oh yeah.

A Reminder About Light Skin Privilege

One term can have different meanings and subtleties across different groups. The term “light skin privilege” carries a particular weight and meaning when used in reference to Native American people.

Between strict blood quantum laws and perceptions, and stereotypes about our looks (must have dark reddish brown skin, long black hair, etc), people are dying to tell us we’re not “real Indians.” We are often clearly spotted as not-white by white people, and treated as such, yet if we don’t meet preconceived notions about our race, we’re “not allowed,” to “claim to be” who we are. This is not only a matter of “acting white,” or people using our light brown skin to say we’re “not Indian enough,” it is also a matter of people frequently using our light brown/ non-white skin to somehow disagree entirely with our factual race. Yes, even some of us who are “full blooded” are told we are not who we are. When something is used to call our existence into question, in a way that is unique to Native American groups, it can be very impactful to say that that trait is a privilege.

There’s certainly common ground between various non-white communities; that said, there’s a lot of nuance to each group’s oppression, and what it means to be part of that group. As a single label can have different connotations depending on who is using it toward whom, we should think twice before using a term of privilege to describe someone from a different oppressed race than our own. In those situations where it is accurate and needs to be said, say it with some indication that you are mindful of those nuances which you do not experience and may not understand.

Friend: "I don't feel like watching another Doctor Who." Friend: *sees it's a Weeping Angel episode* Friend:*sits the fuck back down*

Most, if not everyone wants and enjoys relationships with others. For many who grew up being abused at the hands of those who were supposed to love them, however, the need for loving attention is both pathologically desperate, and needed for healing. The saddest part of this aftermath is that victims also often gravitate towards the abusers, who are more than happy to take advantage. The fervent need for the time, love, and respect of someone is even harder to attain for those who have been groomed to believe that neglect is normal, abuse is deserved, and basic decency is generous. In those relationships where a decent partner has been found, the formerly abused party is more likely to take the relationship quite seriously - why would their partner treat them with respect and be present unless they deeply loved them? Heartbreak ensues when their partner leaves, and they discover that, even though this person cared for them to some degree, that basic respect was not love, but simply the default behavior of a decent human being. Where it often ends is at the panic and self-loathing which dovetail with abandonment issues that come come crashing back in. We are worth more than this.

Speaking Thoughtfully on the Suicide Hotline

I was experiencing heavy ideation, worried I may actually try to go through with it again. I decided to call before it was too late. I thought of my potential suicide in the most logical ways possible, giving myself true pros and cons, considering grey areas, realistic impact, etc. The person on the other line was clearly struggling. Eventually he admitted that they were trained for people who were in paroxysms, simply panicking about their situation, and he had no idea what to do with someone who thoroughly thought it out in a rational manner. He couldn't help me. After a while of speaking to me, he assumed from my relative calm and way of speaking that I wasn't in danger. He said "it sounds like you're going to be okay. I need to talk to other people calling." I felt even more alone and uncared for after calling. If not even the people whose job it is to care (volunteer or otherwise) seem to care about me, I felt it must truly be hopeless, that there was no reason to be around. Sharing hotline numbers is great. I'm sure the service has helped many people. I wanted to share my experience to potentially help people like me, who don't sob and cite purely emotional motivations (a different experience which is also terrible) so they know what they may be walking into at such a vulnerable moment.

The truth will s̶e̶t̶ y̶o̶u̶ f̶r̶e̶e̶.̶ make you uncomfortable; it's still the truth.

❤️💙🖤💛

There's a dearth of terms for people in serious relationships that happen to be marriageless, so I call my person's parents my "outlaws." Feel free to steal my cheesy humor.

"Do you need, like, a reason to talk to someone, or how does that work?"

-Trying to remember how to make friends after a particularly long and arduous bout of anxiety.