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Suicide - Blog Posts
When was I ever good enough for you?
Langst
(Sexual Inferences, manipulation, depression, suicidal thoughts, major character death, Lancelot, Klance)
It was silent in the castle and Lance is missing, and they had no lead on where Lotor had taken Lance nor what he was to do with him. They didn’t talk too much and none of them wanted to until they found Lance.
-meanwhile-
“Shit!”
The Blue Paladin was thrown onto the floor with no defenses other than his armor once again. Eventually hung left waiting to be questioned. Lotor thankfully chose to train Lance himself. No one tried to interfere with the ‘training’. Lotor rather took Lance to his room and put Lance on a collar and gave him beautiful golden chains and jewelry training him but it was all mental.
Manipulating his mind to feel intense hatred for Voltron and his place on the team. It was probably a week of torture till Lance finally let Lotor hold him and twirl his hair. Soon leading to long nights of warm baths and tending to wounds from physical training. Drowning in pits of water letting the burn slowly become craved sensations. Sleeping together became natural with tangled limbs on the covers and gold flakes everywhere.
The two had just gotten out of the shower from training, Lance throwing on a tight jumpsuit designed specifically for him to be an assistant during training. Lotor was sitting in his chair brushing out his long locks as Lance made his way over to braid his hair.
“Lotor guess what?”
“What Lance?”
“I can make things now!”
Lotor smiled as Lance sat on his lap hands linked around Lotor neck,” Look.”
Lance winked and a beautiful flower appeared in mid-air soon transforming into a flower crown placed on Lotor’s head.
-Meanwhile-
Team Voltron finally had tracked down a base with a lifeform matching Lance’s figure and Blue along with Red urged everyone he was there. The Blade good with stealth came along on the mission in case this was going to harder than it already seemed. Keith, Krolia, and Kolivan were sent. The 7 rushed in undetected Pidge tracking Lance’s location in the base. They passed and checked every room as they raced through the halls.
-Back with Lance and Lotor-
Lance got up gold dangling from his forehead and ears, his beautiful designs were gorgeous. Lotor got up from his seat lifting Lance holding him. Lance, who of course kissed the Prince holding him wrapped his legs around Lotor’s torso. Lotor supported Lance by holding his backside and twirled him around, singing the melody an old Altean tune.
“Bedtime.”
Lance quickly curled into Lotor as the lights dimmed. Within what seemed like a minute the ship alarms were set off.
Lotor immediately grabbed two weapons handing one to Lance, “Lay down if they come in we can catch them off guard.”
Laying down the gunshots rose along with the noises of grunting.
Within 3 minutes there was slamming on the door and with seconds the door was down. The Paladins walked in to see the two cuddling.
Lotor squeezed Lance's thigh alerting him to attack. Lance gets up holding his gun and shoots at Kolivan who takes the chest shot. Everyone froze.
“Lance, what the hell?”
“How do you know my name?!?”
That’s when everything spun. Krolia sent a bullet flying towards Lotor and a scream shocked everyone as the bullet froze along with everything else.
Another shot fired hitting Lance in the abdomen who didn’t even flinch yet Keith shouted.
“Lance!”
Rushing over he picked up Lance, “Hey look at me.”
“Keith?”
Keith smiled tears falling suddenly shocked when a hand came up and smacked him hard, “Get the hell out of here. Don’t be stupid. Now, please.”
The Paladins and Lotor were holding aim at one another and Lance pulled out his gun and shot everyone’s weapons out of their hands including Lotor.
Within seconds Lance flung his arms and sighed his gun right in his hand the backside of the gun resting on Lance’s forehead as he shook his head, “God fuck this stupid war! Like honestly what does ruling the world solve, no one is a slave and no one owes anyone anything. Lotor your parents fucked with shit they shouldn’t have which should’ve resulted in their death. And no the planet should’ve have been destroyed but it came down to it. Why can’t you find quintessence without killing?”
The room grew quiet again. Lance dropped his gun and gripping his wound while still holding his composure.
Everything happened in a flash, Pidge and Hunk teamed up Hunk grabbing Lance while Pidge shot Lotor and everyone else running. Lance screamed. Cried. Fought. The sound brought everyone to their own tears filling their eyes, and the atmosphere grew unbearably heavy. Lance refused to eat or speak, told to hate Voltron he was utterly bewildered finding out he was a Paladin.
Sitting in his observatory with a blanket wrapped around him he struggled to wrap his head around what had happened. How has Lotor wipes all memory of him being a Paladin?
Coran opened the door, “Hey my boy how are you feeling?”
“How am I feeling? I feel like shit. I’m recovering from being shot and almost dying while having to push through the fact I fell in love with a guy who got killed right in front of me. I gave him my first. And I’ve been manipulated for months and trained and brainwashed Coran. So you wanna know how am I fucking feeling?”
Coran quietly and quickly wrapped his arms around Lance holding him tight.
“I’m sorry we didn’t find you soon enough, you didn’t deserve any of this.”
Lance felt tears whelm up and he just sobbed holding Coran tightly the entire team hearing the conversation felt an overwhelming amount of shame and remorse for their teammate as well joining the hug all in a pile. The BOM isn’t happy with Lance but understands the circumstances of what occurred.
-Weeks Later-
I still am trying to bond with the team but it’s difficult. I miss Lotor every day but Keith seems ten times better. Caring and deep down a good guy with a hard past who I can relate to.
Shiro helped me as well.
I’ve bonded with Hunk already and we are close once more.
Pidge and I are iffy we will talk but we’re nowhere near as close friends. She killed my first real love.
Allura didn’t talk to me the first two days but eventually, she hugged me and we sat down talking about everything that I went through.
Coran and I are as close as can be and I constantly go to him for guidance.
I feel better but still, I don’t think I’ll ever recover from something like this. Maybe I’ll kill myself, I know that’s something apparently I wanted to do back on Earth.
People always say "you matter in this world and to others", I know I matter.
People always say "you can get through it", I know I can.
People always say "you will get better", I know I will...
People always say "you can be happy", I'm sure I can.
People always say "it will get better", statistically that is fact.
People always say "you never know", and they are correct.
People always say "you are not alone", and I'm not.
But the person who mattered is gone, I don't want to fight anymore, I want to be better, but I don't want a different happiness, I don't want a new better, I know he is gone, the person I most wanted to be with is gone.
I matter, I know it will pass but sometimes...
Sometimes I just want to take the only option I have to get him back...
But I won't.
Because he made me a promise, and now that promise is mine to uphold.
I promised I would live on...so I will.
No matter what.
I remember being driven in an ambulance to a mental hospital and I was making jokes (it's a coping skill of mine) and one of the doctors in the car told me that I was bright for my age and he wished more people were like me. Two weeks later when I was being transported by van to the residential facility and I was I little quieter but every now and then I would tell a joke or two. The guy driving the van turned to look at me and told me that I was such a fun person and that I had a future where I would finally be happy. I still remember his face and his name was Lauffe. He always laughed at my jokes for the months of my stay and was so friendly. While I was there I met so many amazing people and it pained me to see them going through so much shit. I cared about all of them and I still remember all of them. Emily, Vanessa, Alora/Ace, Jacob, Julio, Andreza, Cassy, and a few more. If you guys are reading this, it's potato and I still think about you guys and hope you're alright. People really do care... 💖💖
please don't ever think that no one cares about you
I work in an ER and we see suicides all the time. And we get at least 3 suicidal ideations a night. We all care about you. I promise, we do. A team of complete strangers who have worked 3+ 12 hour shifts this week who are being screamed at all day and night and probably haven’t had lunch and trust me, we still love you and care about you.
We had a 16 year old patient last night who we couldn’t save. We were in that room with this patient for over an hour, we did everything we could. And let me tell you, we all cried. The EMT’s, the nurses, the doctor. We all huddled together in the doctors dictation room and cried.
I went through the rest of my shift with smudged mascara and tracks on my cheeks.
I remember the names of all the patients that have taken their lives on my shifts.
I remember squeezing the hands, smoothing the hair, kissing the foreheads, and wiping away the blood and the vomit of every patient that has left me too soon.
I can still see every face that I have zipped into a body bag.
Trust me, someone cares about you. You have never met them yet. You don’t ever think about them. They are never remembered when you talk about heroes and role models.
But someone loves you.
Another obsessed ill patient.
aha this is the year where self hatred is most effective, just a few days ago i got a panic attack. i hate myself (=–=)<⁄3
US Helplines:
Depression Hotline: 1-630-482-9696
Suicide Hotline: 1-800-784-8433
LifeLine: 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
Sexuality Support: 1-800-246-7743
Eating Disorders Hotline: 1-847-831-3438
Rape and Sexual Assault: 1-800-656-4673
Grief Support: 1-650-321-5272
Runaway: 1-800-843-5200, 1-800-843-5678, 1-800-621-4000
Exhale: After Abortion Hotline/Pro-Voice: 1-866-4394253
Child Abuse: 1-800-422-4453
UK Helplines:
Samaritans (for any problem): 08457909090 e-mail jo@samaritans.org
Childline (for anyone under 18 with any problem): 08001111
Mind infoline (mental health information): 0300 123 3393 e-mail: info@mind.org.uk
Mind legal advice (for people who need mental-health related legal advice): 0300 466 6463 legal@mind.org.uk
b-eat eating disorder support: 0845 634 14 14 (only open Mon-Fri 10.30am-8.30pm and Saturday 1pm-4.30pm) e-mail: help@b-eat.co.uk
b-eat youthline (for under 25’s with eating disorders): 08456347650 (open Mon-Fri 4.30pm - 8.30pm, Saturday 1pm-4.30pm)
Cruse Bereavement Care: 08444779400 e-mail: helpline@cruse.org.uk
Frank (information and advice on drugs): 0800776600
Drinkline: 0800 9178282
Rape Crisis England & Wales: 0808 802 9999 1(open 2 - 2.30pm 7 - 9.30pm) e-mail info@rapecrisis.org.uk
Rape Crisis Scotland: 08088 01 03 02 every day, 6pm to midnight
India Self Harm Hotline: 00 08001006614
India Suicide Helpline: 022-27546669
Kids Help Phone (Canada): 1-800-668-6868
FREE 24/7 suicide hotlines:
Argentina: 54-0223-493-0430
Australia: 13-11-14
Austria: 01-713-3374
Barbados: 429-9999
Belgium: 106
Botswana: 391-1270
Brazil: 21-233-9191
China: 852-2382-0000
(Hong Kong: 2389-2222)
Costa Rica: 606-253-5439
Croatia: 01-4833-888
Cyprus: 357-77-77-72-67
Czech Republic: 222-580-697, 476-701-908
Denmark: 70-201-201
Egypt: 762-1602
Estonia: 6-558-088
Finland: 040-5032199
France: 01-45-39-4000
Germany: 0800-181-0721
Greece: 1018
Guatemala: 502-234-1239
Holland: 0900-0767
Honduras: 504-237-3623
Hungary: 06-80-820-111
Iceland: 44-0-8457-90-90-90
Israel: 09-8892333
Italy: 06-705-4444
Japan: 3-5286-9090
Latvia: 6722-2922, 2772-2292
Malaysia: 03-756-8144
(Singapore: 1-800-221-4444)
Mexico: 525-510-2550
Netherlands: 0900-0767
New Zealand: 4-473-9739
New Guinea: 675-326-0011
Nicaragua: 505-268-6171
Norway: 47-815-33-300
Philippines: 02-896-9191
Poland: 52-70-000
Portugal: 239-72-10-10
Russia: 8-20-222-82-10
Spain: 91-459-00-50
South Africa: 0861-322-322
South Korea: 2-715-8600
Sweden: 031-711-2400
Switzerland: 143
Taiwan: 0800-788-995
Thailand: 02-249-9977
Trinidad and Tobago: 868-645-2800
Ukraine: 0487-327715
(Source)
reblog this to save a life PLEASE
I’ve seen a lot of posts on my dash tonight about users who are threatening suicide, with other Tumblr members posting in effort to try to get ahold of them. I think you all should see this:
IF THERE IS EVER A TUMBLR USER WHO HAS POSTED A GOOD-BYE MESSAGE, SUICIDE NOTE, VIDEO, OR ANYTHING OF THE SORT, PLEASE FOLLOW THIS POST.
1. Scroll to the top of your dashboard.
2. See the circular question mark icon at the top? It’s the third one over from your home symbol. Click on that, and a screen similar to the one in the picture will come up.
3. Where you can type in questions, the box with the magnifying glass at the top, type in the word “suicide.”
4. Click on the first link that shows up. It should say, “Pass the URL of the blog on to us.”
5. Type in the user’s URL and tell Tumblr admin that the user is contemplating suicide and has posted a message indicating that they are going through with it or will be attempting. Hit send! Tumblr administration will perform a number of actions to contact the user and take the necessary steps to prevent the suicide.
TUMBLR: THIS COULD SAVE A USER’S LIFE. PLEASE DO NOT IGNORE SUICIDE THREATS.
Reblog this to keep other users aware. Suicide isn’t a joke, and neither is someone’s life. If you didn’t know this, someone else may not, either. Pass it on.
Sometimes
Sometimes I wish you hadn’t died.
You left him so broken, beyond repair.
It was all I could do to keep him afloat,
treading water, a burden too heavy
for me to lift. You left him drowning
in unspoken love, unable to let go of
a deflated life preserver.
Sometimes I wonder what you’d think of me.
If you could would you thank me or would
you tell me that I could never heal him?
It was my job to gather the wreckage
you left behind. I taught him to love again,
but I could never teach him to let go.
I could never empty the ocean of hurt.
Sometimes I believe we could have been friends.
He clung to me too, driftwood in the open sea.
We must have something in common. He said
he thought I would like you. Even when his
heart was sore and his lungs were filled,
drowning in the memory of you. Friend,
can I tell you a secret?
Sometimes I hate you more than anything.
I hate what you did to him. I hate that no matter
how far away you are he can’t let go of you.
I hate that he will always love you, how he
doesn’t know how not to love you. I hate
you for dying – not that you chose to die. I wish
you had chosen. Maybe then he’d accept it.
Sometimes I feel like the other woman.
He’s still swimming through the waves,
fighting the current to get to you as if he
doesn’t realize you’ve already been pulled under.
I try to bring him back to shore, to my safe
harbor, but he’s still anchored in you.
Sometimes I think you are selfish.
When you had him you took him for granted,
and yet you held him tight enough to keep
him clinging to you like a buoy out at sea,
clinging to you for air. And now he still clings.
You can’t tell him to let go. Not that you would.
Sometimes I wish he had never met you.
Sometimes I am happy that you’re dead.
Sometimes I wish you never existed.
"𝘌𝘮𝘮𝘢, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦. 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘤𝘵 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺. 𝘌𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘺𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺, 𝘫𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶. 𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦, 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦, 𝘐 𝘷𝘰𝘸. 𝘕𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯𝘴, 𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘣𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯. 𝘚𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦𝘢𝘳 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘰𝘸𝘯. 𝘞𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘤𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘵𝘰𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳… 𝘢 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘤𝘢𝘯 𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘴 𝘢 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺. 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘰𝘧 𝘶𝘴."
Please i’m just tired
No, i am not sad, i am not mad, is just that i am so tired of trying to feel good with my life and with myself, trying not to cry when i see myself in a mirror or in photos, tired of not doing things the way i wanted, tored of crying about every little thing, tired of not being loved the way i love someone, and TIRED of feeling alone when i am surrounded by people.
This is a poem I just wrote, let me know what you think please.
Society teaches us what it's like to 'be a man' How to be 'a women' Thinks there isn't anything different That's why so many young people commit suicide I'd say boys and girls, but there is more than that I'm not foolish enough to think otherwise Though society teaches us at a young age that there is only that Nothing different from those two boxes they try to fit us all in They're wrong There is a spectrum, nothing is set in stone There is no right or wrong when it comes to who you are Don't let society tell you what it means to be anything Don't try to be anything other than yourself There is a strength in you that you don't know Asking for help is not weakness There is nothing wrong with letting someone else take care of you for awhile Strength is continuing on even when you think there is nothing else Strength is reaching out for help Strength is knowledge Knowledge is power Power is whatever you feel it is Nothing will change the strength inside of you Nothing will take that away from you It can't be forced out of yourself That strength is always there waiting for you to let it out Sometimes you need someone to help bring it out of you There is a strength in that itself Reaching out is one of the strongest things you can ever do Never let society or anyone tell you anything different Not even yourself Don't think giving up is stronger than asking for help Don't think asking for help isn't man enough Don't think asking for help makes you weak in any sense of the world There is a fire inside each and every one of you You just have to let it burn Don't let anyone tell you that your fire is wrong That you don't deserve that fire That your fire isn't yours to control That your shade of fire isn't yours That your fire is any less yours after someone tries to take it away from you Don't you ever let anyone tell you who you are Don't you dare listen to anyone who calls you weak You're all so much stronger than you know You're still here You're hearing or reading these words You're still burning strong That right there is strength Strength is beauty And you all are the most beautiful people Don't forget that And please never let anyone tell you anything different. You're all beautiful amazing strong people Don't let someone take that away from you It's not something that they can take away from you Only you can So don't listen to them Don't believe them Just keep burning That is true strength.
Life (Idk how to title this)
My first real post is gonna be heavy. Just a warning. I'm finally going to write this post. I needed to wrap my head around it and distance myself from it slightly. Things like this honestly hit me harder than I like to admit, it’s hard for me to know someone I had so much love and respect for is gone. It’s even worse when it’s through cancer like Alan Rickman or suicide like so many, now including Chester Bennington. I’ve always had a love for Linkin Park, it honestly helped me through a lot of personal demons. So it’s even harder for me since his music helped me not do exactly what he ended up doing. This has got to open a much needed dialogue of mental health and the reality of depression. I know it’s not easy to try to truly understand something as complicated as depression when you have never experienced it, but it’s necessary for progress. You don’t have to understand every little thing about it, but what you must do is open your eyes to the truth that it isn’t something that can be fixed by smiling, putting up a front. The only thing that does is make it harder for people to hear your screams for help, they think you only want attention, when what you really want is someone to try to help you, have someone reach out to you. You might never understand the power of a simple interaction of care, but as someone that has depression, I know how beneficial it can be to have someone simply smile at you or compliment you. No that won’t cure of us of this illness, but it might help us hold on long enough to finally begin to heal and turn our life around. Depression isn’t fake, despite what people might think, if you haven’t learned that by now looking at all the beautiful people that have ended their lives thanks to this monster that is constantly belittling us, beating us down, I really don’t know how to get you to understand. Everyone keeps saying I had no idea, none of us were expecting it, but actually go back through their music and it’s not like he’s hiding his serious struggle within himself. No one likes to acknowledge the problem/truth until it’s too late. And that just worsens the pain for people like me, the ones that know the truth and try to get others to understand it. Depression is a real thing, it terrible and hard to handle, but with help we can all begin to heal and keep going forwards even while the beast that is depression is trying to pull us back and down. People tend to only see what they want to, so they will look past obvious struggles of others around them. I get it, I do, I’m not trying to offend anyone, or make it seem like it’s your fault, it isn’t but you could save a life, I just want you to realize that. It’s really important to try to see things from others point of views, that way you can understand more and just maybe try to help them. I know how easy it is to just walk by and ignore the person that is struggling, but what is easy isn’t always right. I want to impress upon you all the importance of doing the right thing in this situation, you could help someone hang on long enough to actually keep going. I’m not pretending to know everything or make it seem like a saint, I just want to make people see. I definitely have tried everything to help as many people as possible though. I’m the type of person that will bring all the struggling people together and try to help them build themselves up again. I grew up around it and I think that is part of the reason that I’m more than willing to bend over backwards to help others living with this and other really difficult illnesses. My brother and I both have had depression since we were young, so I’ve spent a lot of my time trying to help him keep his head above the water, though I’ve almost lost him at least twice that I know of. He’s my big brother, I can’t lose him, so seeing it in him helps me help myself and many others. I will never give up on someone, no matter the situation, I’ll try everything in my power to help in any way that I possibly can. Yes I do thing like this to help others, but it also helps me with my own depression, we all have different way of dealing with our depression, they’re not always healthy, but they’re our way of pushing forwards against the odds. I’m not condoning nor am I judging the way other people deal with their depression, I have no right to judge considering I use to cut myself and the only reason I can say I use to is that I haven’t done it in over a month. Thing are difficult there is no sugar coating it. This shit is hard and it takes a lot of work to keep going, but I promise the effort will be worth it. Things will suck, but things will also be amazing beyond belief, so you just have to find a way to keep going. There are a million ways to deal with it, you can be like me and help others, you can be like others and turn it into some form of art, you can find something that drives you, you can lean on people, or something else that might help you. I definitely don’t claim to have all the answers, no one ever does. But I promise that I’ll be by anyone’s side when they need me, no matter what it takes. I know the pain of going against this monster alone, I don’t want anyone to feel that way. You’re not alone, you are never alone, someone out there is supporting you, whether you know it or not. Any of you reading this need someone to talk to I will be there in a heartbeat. Another thing I want to say is there is either a stigma about actually taking medication to help or deciding it’s best for you not to take the medication. If you are one of the ones that feel like you need to take the medication, good for you, you do what’s best for you. Never let anyone tell you that it’s not okay to be taking care of yourself, you might only need it for a short period of time or you might need it for years to come, but either way that’s okay it’s your journey to recovery and no one can tell you how to take it. And alternatively if you feel like it’s better for you not to take medication, then that’s okay too. Some people don’t do better on the medication, other things might help them, like certain vitamins or exercise or other activities that may help you move forwards. Like I said before this is YOUR journey, you decide what’s best for you in the long run, you can listen to people’s advice, but in the end you're the one with the final say. As long as you’re trying to get better, you do you. Take care of yourself the way that works best for you, you might have to try a whole bunch of things until you find what works, but it’s worth the effort. Taking a step in the right direction is the first milestone on your trek to overcoming this beast that’s trying to drag you down. Don’t let it, it won’t be easy, but it’ll be more than worth it. There are people that care and want you to get better, and honestly I do care 100% I’m that person that really cares about anyone, unless they do something I can’t look past (which honestly isn’t much). Truthfully you need someone I’m always willing to talk. The door is always open I guess you can say. And to show you that it isn’t only my brother that I constantly try to help so you believe me when I say you can reach out to me. My bestfriend that I had all through middles school and half of high school until he left and cut ties, was severely depressed and many times came to me to talk him out of taking his life, I did it every time without fail, no matter what he did or how many fights we got into, truly I was always there for him and he knew it. Not once did I hesitate to care for him, even when we dated and he cheated on me with a close friend, nothing change the simple fact I would do anything to help him. Along with him and other friends I’ve had like him, my boyfriend is depressed, extremely so, I do worry for him. But I believe that together we can find a way for him to survive this last year that he has to spend in the place that makes him the most unhappy. After that we’ll find a way to keep the progress going. I knew getting into this relationship that he had depression, did I know how bad it was? No I did not, but that doesn’t change the fact that I’m more in love with him than I thought possible. He is an amazing beautiful human being, being depressed doesn’t change that fact. It just adds more layers to the man I love. Never think that being depressed ruins you or your appeal, you are all beautiful human beings and you are worth the world and so much more. I know that’s hard to believe but it’s the truth. You are all incredible and I believe in you. You will find a way to get through this. You will overcome this. You will find a way to be happy. The depression might never fully leave you, but you definitely lessen its hold on you. There has already been so much loss and death, we don’t need anymore. Please reach out to someone, even if it’s me when you feel like ending it. I promise you it’s not worth it to end it all. There is still so much for you to accomplish and see. Don’t give up. Never give up, never surrender. You are beautiful incredible and needed. Keep that in mind please. People love you people care for you and people want you to survive this monster. Even if you don’t think that people do, they do, hell I do. I’m telling you the truth I’m more than willing to lend an ear or a shoulder to anyone that needs it. Please take me up on that if you need someone. I care about each and every one of you. I guess I should end this here, but just know I’m always here and I care about all of you.
As someone who's been suicidal and has harmed themselves it's good to show awareness and about this kind of stuff and to show people that they're not alone so please if anyone out there is suicidal or self-harms please just try and resist it no matter how harmless it may be please don't do it if just for today, you are loved by many people and people you'll meet someday because you are wonderful❤️❤️❤️
He sat at the end of the table in a high chair looking awfully sad. His eyes were gleaming, but he didn't cry, only looked without seeing. He trembled ever so slightly, when I put my hand on his. When no one said anything for a long time, finally I took a seat to his left and poured us both some tea. It smelled mild, swirled with dark herbs, like the brew itself were also sad. Everything looked delicious, but in the end no one had a bite.
After everyone had left, when I'd gathered the dishes and was blowing out the candles, he spoke. Though his voice was quiet as the rustling wind, it startled me. 'I should have noticed' he said. I blinked. A million things rushed through my mind. All wrong things to say. 'I should have noticed, Alice' he repeated, raising his eyes to look at me. He was at the brink of shattering. Suddenly he stood, whisked everything in arms reach off the table, and fell back again. Then, after being closed off for so long, he could finally cry. 'We could have..' His voice broke. The shatters of porcelain crunched under my step. I knelt. I took his hands, and kissed them, but I felt empty.
Is murder suicide and double homicide a square and rectangle sort of situation? Because double homicide is killing two people - but murder suicide is also killing two people; one just so happens to be you.
If this account goes inactive, I hope you all know I love you all even if I didn't really get to know you. This is Neelac, signing off.