I Went To A Library Book Sale This Weekend And I Found A Very Old Book Called “Electronic Life: How

As High Marshall Commander, a title foisted on him by the Galaxy’s fakest bitch aka Chancellor Palpatine, Fox theoretically has privileges and authorities like no other clone. In practice, he has a headache and gets ignored more obviously than before.

What he also has is a fancy new function on his personal comm unit modified to broadcast GAR-wide to all commanding officers, up to and including Jedi. It gathers dust next to his own modified button that sees much better use - a private channel to Stone, the only vod that will let Fox bitch at him to his heart’s content without hanging up (Thire) or bitching right back (Thorn).

It’s been a long shift of 72 hours, the maximum Stabby allows him to do without a well-placed hypo to the neck, when Fox finally collapses on his rickety cot in the Command quarters and hits the private comm connection to Stone without looking. He’s already rolling his eyes so hard it tweaks at the migraine that’s been building since hour 18 and heaving a put-upon sigh.

“Everyone is stupid, Stone, and asking to be thrown face-first from the Dome balustrades”, he begins, settling into a low, dead tone of voice to warm to the building monologue. It’s a marathon, not a sprint. “I swear to haran I’m going to wring Amedda’s stringy neck one of these days. I don’t know what magical Force gods his mother pissed off, but they made sure to punish her and the Galaxy at large a hundred times over. He sucks the joy and competence out of every room like a black hole of stupid. I’d call him a has-been, but I trust in the power of nepotism and also just don’t believe he ever was. I swear he’s doing it on purpose and - oh, kriffing Sith-damned hells, you know who’s definitely doing it on purpose?! The kriffing Chancellor, that wrinkly ass-faced ballsack!”

Taking a deep breath, Fox lets that sit in his chest for a moment, indulging in the feeling of bright weightlessness. “I swear he’s trying to keep the war going - no one man can be that incompetent and still draw breath, not even Amedda or Taa. Goddamn Taa - but anyways, kriffing hell, Stone, either the senility isn’t an act or he’s a bad cartoon villain from Dooby Scoo. Yes Sir, sending Senator Amidala to a Seppie-infested planet for negotiations is a great idea after her fourth bomb threat of the week. No Sir, I can’t hear you cackling evilly with Count Dooku under your lame two-credit robe as you’re definitely not colluding with the Republic’s enemies. What, you have a red lightsaber?! Oh, of course I don’t know what that means, I was dropped on the head as a tubie!”

Barely pulling in a harsh breath, Fox continues, palms pressing into his eyeballs hard enough to cause sparks. “And speaking of lightsabers and senile fucks, haran smite my ass off but who the kriff thought it’d be a good idea to give absolute tactical and military authority to the kriffing eldritch space monks! The Force didn’t bless them with the collective good sense it gave to a kriffing rock, and I’m tired of pretending otherwise! Has anyone kriffing read the Theed Convention of Sentient Rights in Wartimes?! NO?!! Well, color me UNSURPRISED, because war crimes ARE NOT! GOOD! BATTLE! TACTICS!!”

“They run around in crop tops, Stone, in crop tops! Oh, the Force provides - WELL I’M GOING TO PROVIDE MY FOOT UP YOUR ASS, AND IT’S GOING TO HURT BECAUSE YOU’RE NOT WEARING KRIFFING ARMOUR!”

“Sure, let’s send the preteens into active warzones under heavy artillery in kriffing party wear! Surely nothing will ever go wrong! And give them commanding positions equivalent to CC-clones, WHO WERE LITERALLY GENETICALLY CREATED FOR IT! WITH A DECADE OF INTENSE TRAINING! LET’S DO THAT, BECAUSE WE’RE ALL KRIFFING STUPID!”

He’s gesturing wildly at the ceiling now, face heating up as his blood boils beneath the surface. “And you know what really gets my lowers in a twist, apart from the preteen commanding officers and blatant kriffing high treason and war profiteering?! Is it the complete lack of recognition? Gratitude? Basic sentient rights?! No, Stone, no, I would take all that in stride if it meant I never had to see Skywalker and Amidala kriffing canoodle right in front of me again, and pretend like it isn’t the galaxy’s worst conflict of interest case in the making!”

“By all levels of Sith-hell, what the kriff is wrong with that woman? You have it all, you could have anyone, and you choose that twatwaffle?! And then they have the gall to lock themselves in a broom closet for twenty minutes straight and have me guard it! ‘Oh yes, Senator, naturally we all go rattling brooms with our good friends! Nothing dodgy happening at all! I definitely believe you were looking for detergent and have used a washing machine before!’ The absolute nerve on those two! And then last week - you’ll never believe this - High General Windu passed by, and I swear he looked like he wanted to throw himself off the roof! I’ve never been less impressed by anyone in my life, and I’m batch-mates with Bly!”

“Speaking of Bly, that little bitchtit - if I have to edit one more, one more kriffing propaganda piece of him staring at General Secura’s bits, I’m going to stab my eye out! And if I have to edit one more of Secura staring at his bits, I’m going to stab the other one out! The only good thing I have to say about them is they’re more subtle than Skywalker and Amidala, which means nothing really. I will never understand that woman - but then she’s worked with Jar Jar Binks for a decade and not had a nervous breakdown, so she either has nerves of steel or is on some good-ass drugs.”

“Girl, your choices. And you know what else is a choice? Kote kriffing roundhouse-kicking heads off droids when he has a perfectly good blaster right there! I don’t know what the Longnecks put in his tube, but I hope to kriff it’s not contagious. I’d say I’m glad he has Kenobi to keep him in check, but that man wouldn’t know common sense if it punched his nose clean off his face. Flirting with General Grievous, ugh. I’d say he can do better, but honestly, they deserve each other.”

“And Wolffe - “, panting, Fox pauses, considering. “Well, Wolffe is an asshole and stupid, and I hate him because he’s stupid and has a stupid face. Also he keeps drunkenly submitting adoption paperwork on General Koon’s behalf - I wish I could say something mean about that, but honestly, his existence is roast enough. Anyways, bitches are trying me today, and by bitches I mean everyone. Commander Fox signing off to go not commit treason, unfortunately.”

Thoroughly powered out, Fox sinks into his hard mattress with a deep sigh. Several seconds of silence reign, and then his comm unit starts blaring in alarm.

Somewhere in the Jedi Temple, Mace Windu is knocked flat on his ass by a gargantuan shatterpoint exploding.

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A reminder to anyone reading this that so-called Australia is stolen Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander lands, that we never ceded sovereignty to our colonizers. So called Australia is the only "Commonwealth" country that has never had a treaty with First Nations peoples. Only two years ago the government held a referendum to determine whether we, the sovereign peoples of this land, should have an advisory body in government and the nation voted no. So called Australia is the only nation that celebrates on January 26, the anniversary of the beginning of the attempted colonisation and genocide of its First Nations peoples. If you are not Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander and you're living in so called Australia, you benefit directly from our colonisation and it's your duty to stand with us. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are the most incarcerated people by percentage on Earth. We are also the oldest living, continuous culture known to humankind. For 100s of 1000s of years our Mob stood beautiful, Blak and deadly and we will continue to do so because this always was and always will be our lands. We are still here.

So I have this idea for a fix-it, right?

For whatever reason, Alpha-17 visits Coruscant towards the end of the war. Possibly after the Fives incident? Maybe that’s the reason he’s visiting in the first place, actually, because he heard about that. Anyway, he turns up in the Coruscant Guard base with zero warning and heads straight for Fox.

Fox has been trying so hard to keep it all together but one glimpse of his dad older brother’s face and he violently bursts into sobbing right then and there. There’s probably an audience.

Now Alpha-17. Big, legendary, terrifying Alpha-class clone Seventeen sees one of his babies burst into tears and that’s all he needs to know. Does not matter that Fox is a full grown adult Marshall Commander or that there are a bunch of other clones around, that is his baby and he is crying and so Seventeen picks him up and cradles him and lets Fox sob into his neck and between hushing Fox and cooing to him he quietly demands with his eyeballs to be directed to Fox’s quarters so they can have some privacy.

The entire Coruscant Guard would die for Seventeen without hesitation, now, and happily sends him to the Commanders’ bunkroom.

Seventeen manages to deduce which bunk is Fox’s and parks them both in it and then just holds Fox and lets him sob himself out. Fox is doing the kind of wailing-crying that is so intense he nearly makes himself throw up a few times. He just kind of rocks Fox back and forth and rubs his back and tells him it’s okay, Seventeen is here now, he’s gonna take care of everything, let it all out, etc.

Once Fox is spent, Seventeen borrows his comm and asks someone to send some food and water for Fox and then gets to work getting him in bed. He takes off his armor and tries to convince him to get into sleep clothes—you don’t have any pajamas? Alright, a fresh set of blacks, then.

Alpha-17 has already seen the grey hair and the dark circles and the facial scars and he Has Some Concerns. But the scars on Fox’s body, not to mention how thin he is…

Seventeen gets him to eat and drink as much as he can, and then tucks him in and cuddles him until he falls asleep. Then he comms the other Coruscant Guard Commanders and very calmly asks them who needs to die for this.

The Guard’s collective impulse control is soundly asleep and they have an enraged Alpha-class clone on their side. Palpatine will never even get the chance to see what hit him.

Massive fuck you to everyone who is talking about Palestinians as if we’re already all dead and sharing more solidarity with our corpses than us living. “We will never forget the beautiful Palestinian people-“ how about you stop “making peace” with Palestinian extermination. My people are not going to be forgotten because we are going to live. Palestinians have already survived one genocide and have been surviving one ever since.

Do not ever let the idea that all Palestinians are going to die exist in your mind. Mourn the dead, fight like hell for the living.

The haunting ancient Celtic carnyx being played for an audience. This is the sound Roman soldiers would have heard their Celtic enemies make.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE ⤷ S2E5 "Don't Be Afraid, Just Start the Tape."

"Master, if your master threw you into the trash because you broke your legs, I'd be sad. I'd try to fix you."

Presenting R0D-NT.

Happy birthday to me! Today I turn the same age Obi-Wan had when he had to take care of the most bonkers kid of the galaxy (aka 25)

I swear I started this as just a drawing of Obi-Wan looking for his cloak and then...oh welp!