Simon: This Food Is Too Hot... I Cant Eat It.

Xavier: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat.

Simon: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Xavier: I wrote you a poem.

Simon, already crying: You did?

I know some of you are happy about this but I for one did not need to see Wally’s bare ass as I ate my lunch ✋😭

Quinn: Chillax!

Rhonda: That's not a word.

Quinn: Sometimes the ones who deny 'chillax' are the ones who need to chillax the most.

Maddie: What doesn't kill me better start running, because now I'm fucking pissed.

They need to bring this back because it was literally one of the top best things I swear

Love that whenever Maddie and Simon are talking in season one there is at least one shot to show how Simon looks like he is talking to air, just to remind the audience how ridiculous he looks to others

*Comments under an image of a really hot knife cutting bread*

Wally: Imagine stabbing someone with this knife.

Rhonda: It would instantly cauterize the wound, so the person wouldn't bleed, so it's not very useful.

Maddie: if you want information it is

Charley: why would you STAB a person when you can have TOAST?

Maddie: I owe you one.

Wally: That’s ok. You can just date me and we’ll call it even.

Simon: You know my motto: carpe diem, carpe noctem, carpe coles.

Xavier: Seize the day, seize the night, what’s the last one?

Simon: Seize the dick.

I think he does what he always does: tries his best™

do you think Simon copied Charley's handwriting too when writing the letter to Emilio or do you think he was just hoping really hard that he wouldn't notice