Tony: Hey Do You Want To Come Over And Like Vape

Bucky: this is so dumb

Sam: the higher i am the better i can see

Bucky: you can- you can fly

Sam: hush now bucky i am searching

Hydra: hello mr. Barnes we're going to take your arm off.

Bucky: i think i just need help.

Hydra: give you cool robot arm

Meanwhile in the a parallel universe:

Shield: How did you defeat Captain America?

Hydra: We shot him in the legs because his shield is the size of a dinner plate and he's an idiot.

Steve: when you joined the avengers did you say youll be an asset or just an ass?

Tony: yes

Steve:...

Wanda: civil war

No not even a single soul:

Zemo:

Game night #1

Tony: Orange, "first to mess up loses a card; hangover helpers." uhhh gatorade

Bruce: a nice breakfast

Valkyrie: hangover? What is this?

Tony: you actually need to stop drinking to get a hangover valkyrie.

Valkyrie: that is lose, lose situation

Washington: oh yeah ill look it over nice work

Hamlinton: good thanks dad

Everyone: *stares*

Hamlinton: why is everyone starting at me?

Eliza: You just called General Washington dad

Hamilton: what? Nobi didnt i said thanks man

Washington: do you see me as a father figure Alexandre

Hamilton: what?! No! If anything i see him as a bother figure cause youre always bothering me

Madison: hey show your father some respect

Hamilton: i didnt call him dad!

Washington: No no no. Alex i take it as a compliment

Burr: its no big deal i called theodosia mom once and she's my fiance.

Hamiltion: guys jump on that burr has psychosexual issues

Jefferson: old news but you calling the general daddy

Hamilton: hey daddy is not on the table here

Seabury: but you did call call him dad dude

Hamilton: you shut up youve done nothing but lie since you got here

Shu: (freezing) it's kinda cold

Yuma: here take my jacket

Shu: I love you

Yuma: god we are such the... perfect couple (looks at Subaru)

Kou: I'm cold too

Subaru: well damn kou I can't control the weather

Roses are red,

What's your biggeat fear,

Bucky's dead,

Happy new year

Steve: Y/n what's that on your neck?

Y/n: oh it's uh spider bite...

*Nat: walks in*

Y/n: here's the spider now!