I Wish It Was Easier For Me To Ask For Support And Reassurance When I Need It But Every Time I Try It

Find me in the pohutukawa deep, I am running water chuckling as the sunlight plays piano-soft on stone loved smooth, a touch longer -

the melody of promise on curves that bloom like love in springtime in passerine praise flitting delicate amongst the boughs, a poorly kept secret, this beauty in you and I am hiding still beyond the berry brambles, past the ferny hollow marked by years of almost grown fallen in the arms of history

I am here  a zephyr’s whisper against your salty cheek a memory, always was and will be

here, come find me

like a lion, like a lamb

Devin Kelly, All that wanting, right?

— Hanif Abdurraqib, from “They Can't Kill Us Until They Kill Us.”

Hey, you are not an embarrassment for not knowing how to do certain household chores/basic self-care. They do not come naturally to us. A lot of it takes practice! Maybe you had a neglectful guardian. Maybe you had one that was very coddling and never thought to teach you. Maybe you haven't lived in a place where these things were available to you or needed. Doesn't matter. It's okay to not know and far more common than you might realise.

That said, this website provides very simple instructions on how to do everyday tasks such as making your bed, using a washing machine, cooking different foods, washing dishes, taking a shower, etc. All you have to do is use the search bar to find the task you're struggling with, and it'll come up with what you need + other related how-to's:)

If you're having trouble navigating it, let me provide you with some examples:

How to clean dishes by hand

How to make your bed (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to fold clothes (with visual demonstrations of each step!)

How to take a shower & dry yourself off (also provides ways to shave beards, armpits, legs and genitals)

How to shave legs, armpits, beards, pubic areas, etc. (a more in-depth guide)

How to mop the floor

How to sweep the floor

How to swallow pills

How to make small talk

How to make eye contact in different situations (or how to avoid it while still looking natural)

It's also perfectly okay if these don't help or aren't appealing to you. Unfortunately, nothing helps everyone.

the haunting is a bad dream

WHY ARE YOU HAUNTED?

A survey

i know i've like, technically made progress in the past week or so by taking more initiative in taking care of myself and my living space, but it doesn't feel satisfying at all bc i don't have anyone constantly praising me for doing shit a mentally stable person does without even having to think about it. like even just going to the store or making myself food is a monumental task for me, as is everything else, and i just wish people recognized how much ridiculously harder i have to try than them to accomplish the same things. like i'm literally disabled, i have diagnosed disabilities, but bc no one considers them "real" disabilities, no one cares. it's exhausting, to constantly have to put so much effort into doing so little. everything is so hard, even the things that are supposed to be easy. is it really asking so much to want at least a little praise or encouragement for it?

i think that's always what i've wanted to hear most: "it's okay, you've done enough, you can rest easy now—i'll take it from here"

jinxing things isn't real. things either go well or they don't, and while you can never fully guarantee they'll go well, the chances improve along with your confidence and diligence. so, what i'm trying to say is, things are most likely to go well when you believe they will and do everything in your power to ensure that it does. things are most likely to go poorly when you believe they will and do nothing to try to change your predicted outcome, perhaps even self-sabotaging to ensure it. assuming all outcomes will be negative from the start and preemptively giving up is the real "jinx," as it is the only way to ensure a 100% chance of failure!

it can be tempting to avoid expressing hope for fear of being disappointed, but in forbidding yourself from even hoping things will go well, you inadvertently create self-fulfilling prophecies. of course, some things will always wind up going horribly, but if you keep your hopes up and keep at it, some things are bound to go wonderfully, too. start telling yourself things will go well, and see where it gets you. prepare for the worst if you must, but always hope for the best. it can be hard at first, but try to let yourself cross your fingers once in a while.

Please take a few seconds out of your scrolling to read this Dua for Palestine.

‎اللهُمَّ أَصْلِحْ أَحْوَالَ المُسْلِمِِينَ فِي فِلِسطِينَ، اللهُمَّ أَصْلِحْ أَحْوَالَ

‎المُسْلِمِِينَ فِي فِلِسطِينَ وفي كُلِّ مَكَانٍ، يَا ذَا الجَلالِ وَالإِكْرِامِ.

Allahumma aslih ahwaalal-muslimeena fi filisteen, Allahumma aslih ahwaalal-muslimeena fi filisteena wa fi kulli makaanin ya dhul-jalali wal-ikraam.

O Allah! Rectify the affairs of the Muslims in Palestine. O Allah! Rectify the affairs of the Muslims in Palestine and in every place, O Lord of Majesty and Bounty.

‎اللهُمَّ إِنَّهُمْ مَغْلُوبُونَ فَانْتَصِرْ لَهُمْ.

Allahumma innahum maghloobuna fantasir lahum.

O Allah! They are helpless, so help them.

‎رَبَّنَا أَفْرِغْ عَلَيْهِمْ صَبْراً وَثَبِّتْ أَقْدَامَهُمْ وَانْصُرْهُمْ عَلَى القَوْمِ

‎الكَافِرِينَ.

Rabbana afrigh ‘alayhim sabran wa thabbit aqdamahum wansurhum ‘alal-qawmil- kafireen.

Our Lord! Pour upon them patience, make them steadfast, and grant them victory over the Disbelivers.

‎اللهُمَّ مَكِّرْ لَهُمْ، وَاكْفِهِمْ بِمَا شِئْتَ إِنْ تَنْصُرْهُمْ فَلا غَالِبَ لَهُمْ، وَإِنْ

‎تَخْذُلْهُمْ فَمَنْ ذَا الَّذي يَنْصُرهُمْ مِنْ بَعْدِكَ.

Allahumma makkir lahum, wakfihim bimaa shi’t. In tansurhum falaa ghaliba lahum, wa in takhdhulhum fa man dhal-ladh’ yansurhum min ba’dika.

O Allah! Plot for them, and suffice them with what You please, if You support them then nobody can overpower them, and if You forsake them, then who will be able to support them after You?

‎لا إِلاَ إِلا اللهُ العَظيمُ الحَليم، لا إِلهَ إِلا اللهُ رَبَّ العَرْشِ العَظِيمِ، لا

‎إلهَ إِلا اللهُ رَبُّ السَّمَاوَتِ وَرَبُّ الأَرْضِ وَرَبُّ العَرْشِ الكَرِيمِ.

La ilaha illAllahul adhimul-haleem. La ilaha illAllahu, rabbul-arshil- adheem. La ilaha illAllahu rabbus-samawaati wa rabbul-ardi wa rabbul-arshil- Adheem