*FLIPS TABLE*

So I’m applying to go to University in July...

Me, writing a Personal Competencies Statement: How do I say, ‘I write gay wizard porn in my spare time’ but in an academic kind of way?

Like this,

'I am a prolific writer of relationship based fictional fantasy stories which I publish periodically in an online community of like-minded authors.’

a day in the potter-malfoy kitchen.

i’m still PISSED about harry potter leaving draco to die because “oh boo hoo there aren’t enough seats in this minivan someone has to stay behind” like you fool. you fucking fool. i’ve ridden to walmart and back in an 11-person shuttle seating 17 people just bc i didn’t wanna wait to get some skim milk. are you really telling me that you couldn’t put a dude in the trunk for the sake of getting away from a collapsing island? you worried about not having enough seat belts??? people died bc of your poor minivan management skills, harry

JKR: Dumbledore is the only gay character in the Harry Potter series

Devon and Alfred: 

Tumblr Code.

i am the most obnoxious person i know

Can I propose to you a new Harry Potter? One raised by Sirius and Remus, one who shared his father’s Indian heritage, who wears leather jackets and denim over hoodies, who shops second hand and uses magic or just old fashioned dyes, paints and a needle to make them new again, who has long curly hair and pins it up with his wand like is godfather, who can do magic without his wand with Hermione’s help long before deathly hallows, who bonds with Hermione over the sheer amount of hair care products they have weighing down their luggage, who makes friendship braclets with Luna and they start a band together as they bond over punk shit. One who isn’t afraid of Draco but instead spends a lot of time trying to help him. Whose little brother Teddy was born through a surrogate in the order, and every time Harry comes home on holiday he brings the kid some new punk CD or candy or some prank stuff from the weasley’s joke shop. Who probably gave himself a lightening bolt stick and poke after his scar faded to go along with the one of the two deer he gave himself in second year. He probably also gave Ron a stick and poke too, and a few other members of gryffindor tower. Neville probably has a phoebe buffay tattoo from that time.

The most hilarious thing about the fact Buckbeak had a trial and lost is that later on JKR resolves the issue by having Hagrid take him in again and renaming him Witherwings. That’s literally all it took. What if in POA, Hagrid simply said, “Sorry, Buckbeak flew away.” 

“There’s a hippogriff right there, Hagrid.”

“A different hipprogriff.”

“I’m… pretty sure that’s the same hipprogriff.”

“Prove it.” 

The Brightest Witch of Her Age.

AU in which Snape has a potions show a la Gordon Ramsay style

-“You call this a potion, Smith? I wouldn’t even use it to scrub the lavatory.”

-“Abysmal attempt, you’re out.”

-“Hmm…this is… adequate.”

-*looks at subpar potion* “I would’ve preferred it if the cauldron had exploded.”

-*contestant reaches for their wand* *Snape materialises out of thin air* “What the *beep* do you think you’re doing? You *beep* *beep* *beep* dunderhead. *Beep* oxygen thief!”