Look To The Lord And His Strength; Seek His Face Always.

Hate

As I stare at you

my anger and sadness increase manifold.

Someone that I thought I knew...

Yet I stand corrected as I’m forever stuck in your hold.

Looking at you reminds me of the hate

that I have for you as you look back at me with sadness.

I hate it when you give me that look. If you could just die that’d be great...

But you can’t because you’re me.... God, what a mess.

I wish I could just punch you in the face.

‘Cause it makes me relieved when I see you in pain.

To me, you’re such a disgrace...

and I hate that anything I do or say will never give me any sort of gain.

I hate that you’re me.

Which may be hard to believe....

I’m sorry for never giving us any peace...

But that’s I think when you come to see me.

Hey

Just to let you guys know -if there is anyone that actually reads my posts- feel free to message me if you want! I love talking to new people! I don't bite XD

I'm just not happy anymore. I'm tired of putting up a fight to be happy. I'm tired of being a pain to my family. I'm tired of hurting people. I'm tired of trusting people. All in all. I hate everyone and I hate being alive... I just want to leave... I want to go home.

Thoughts of a broken soul

An excerpt from an unknown book:

It’s all your fault. You’re the one that pushed them away. You can never just let anybody in.

I cried as the words kept repeating in my head. They were right. It’s all my fault. I always do this. I have no one to blame but myself...

They were there for you. Why did you let them go? Why did you say all of those hurtful things? Don’t you care?

I do care.... But I just... I was just so afraid. I was afraid of losing them that I thought that I should just never have them in order for it to not happen. During that time I felt they just never cared.... I was so wrong. 

You’re a monster. A disgrace.

Those two sentences seem to be screaming at me in my mind as I look at myself in the mirror.

It would be better if you could just die. Everyone would just be happier without you.

As my once silent tears turn into loud sobs I contemplate whether or not I should finally give in. Holding the razer as it seems to be encouraging me to give it all the power it needs to carry out the deadly deed.

Nobody will be hurt when you leave. No one will be sad.

Right before I do the deadly thing a thought shoots across my mind...

Please.... Someone.... Anyone... Help

Why? (A Poem)

Why?

Why do people just come and go?

And act like life is just some big show?

They act like they are the only ones that matter.

Until they are the ones being beaten and battered.

Why do people say things they don't mean?

And then act like that's not how it seems?

They think that by saying sorry they are forgiven.

That "it's just a given".

Why do we hurt each other?

When we're told to love one another?

They say that looks don't matter.

Yet they are the ones that judge and chatter.

Why do we have these emotions that can drive us up a wall?

Sometimes.... I wish I just never had them at all.

Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.

Lemony Snicket (via quotemadness)

Please (Poem)

Please,

treat me like one of you.

You always say you do,

but was that ever really true?

Please,

don’t ever change.

Just because to it was a game.

That I never mattered,

and just leave me here in tatters.

Please, 

just stay.

I become down when you go away.

Please,

I’m even using a begging tone....

Because I want to forget what it’s like to be alone.

My greatest fear is something not many can see but relate to. It is always so hard to explain to someone that doesn't understand. What is it you ask? My greatest fear is me.

A Broken Soul

I wish- I wish I could just stop feeling. Cause I care for you but I guess you just never felt the same way.... Here I am still hung up on every single word you tell me. Each look that comes my way. The sight of you makes me feel everything all over again.... No matter how much I want it to stop.

Thoughts from a Gemini girl that writes

Free (A short poem)

Be free,

little one.

So you can see

what’s beyond the horizon.

To actually be free,

hopefully, that day will come.

To just be able to feel the breeze

that is extremely rare for some.

I want to be free.

To break away from these chains

that wear me down and to simply be

one of the ones that stops feeling pain.