Don’t A Let A Little Thing Like Being A Boy Keep You From Being A Girl

above all else a trans woman is a person. above all else a trans women is a woman who goes to the same grocery store as you and buys fruits in the same grocery cart as you and goes home and eats her dinner the same as you. above all else a trans woman is a woman who dresses like you do and talks the same way you do. above all else a trans woman is a woman who wants to be cared about the same way you want to be cared about and a trans woman is a woman who makes friends the same way you make friends. above all else you should care about trans women because they are people. treat her as such.

Was doing some light reading, and came across this paper that reminded me of discourse from a few weeks back.

Anyone remember when that post was floating around about how "theyfab" was actually invented by transfems to make fun of trans men/enbies who use their AGAB as a shield to protect themselves against criticism? Basically leveraging "oh I'm just a female, I'm so innocent", strawman bullshit?

Then others chimed in about how it actually came from 4chan as a way to mock enbies who aren't "trans enough"?

Well, here's an actual academic source on the issue, to shove a knife in this whole argument, as I'm sure it'll pop up again:

...

Sure looks like the "transandrobros" were right once again

Straight from an actual academic paper

"Theyfab" is infact 4chan lingo made to shit on people "not doing trans right" and isn't some transfem counter culture buzzword like some people claim it to be

I'm so sick of this.

I see a post, and think "Oh hey this person has really good takes on transmisogyny!"

And then I go to follow their blog and it’s full of rancid shit about trans men and nonbinary people they all assume to be AFAB.

I hate that this is happening more often lately. It’s not hard to advocate for trans women without tearing other minorities down.

"can men be lesbians?" bestie in 100 countries women can't be lesbians is this really the most pressing issue rn

im sick of how trans men are treated in queer spaces, you think i would be treated normally but no they started shitting on men, and the moment i spoke up i got "this isnt about you youre one of the good ones"

im sorry? you only said that because you know im trans, if i didnt disclose that you would of treated me like im evil or horrible just because you dont like men.

Advocacy takes a ton of bravery and energy, and it can be extremely draining to fight for your community. But if you do, I encourage you to just block anybody who gives you shit for it. You don't owe anyone a debate, and it's pointless to engage with people who will only see the worst in you. Those who don't care about other trans people aren't worth the dirt on your boots, and this goes double for the ones that dismiss sexual assault just because it happens to trans men. Speak up about the issues you care about, and block their transphobic asses if they give you trouble.

I notice that I‘m scared to even speak about this issue sometimes. I feel like a coward. Idk what to do about it, because I can’t just keep quiet when I hear people just straight up deny transmasc oppression. But I already know their reaction. They will not take me seriously. They will twist my words. They will double down and ignore the evidence. Even when I show them literal statistics of SA in transmascs, somehow that doesn’t matter.

I'm so over self described "TME" folks, who are beyond white, making posts either:

- "We are less oppressed bc (makes up a person of color), is more oppressed so tmes- (proceeds to be transphobic) (white savior moment)

- Wishing to commit hate crimes against supposed "TME"s

- Generally being horribly transphobic hiding it behind "protecting trans fems" or "THEYRE WHITE THEY/THEMS" etc

Like you just sound like a toxic asshole. The amount of trans folks who call themselves tme just projecting their insecurities, jealousy, etc. on other trans masculine folks, esp those talking about their own oppression?

They're being transphobic, straight up. Even racist as a treat.

Nobody asks you to do this, it is detrimental and also just plain nasty, like congrats your transition was so easy, you think this is so easy? Sounds like you just want a reason to be nasty and continue to not unlearn internalized everything because you're white and had an ~easy~ time transitioning or whatever.

god i love using my "esoteric non-man gender" (or lack of one) to advocate for my trans brothers and siblings.

I love being exactly the kind of person bigots hate.

Tells me I'm doing something right.

It’s funny how so many of these proudly transandrophobic blogs are just. Blatantly intersexist and exorsexist as well. Literally just blocked a binary trans person who had four posts in a row whinging about nonbinary people and their “esoteric non-man genders”

And if they're not doing that, they're saying intersex individuals shouldn’t speak up about the casual intersexism rampant in the LGBT+ community, because it makes queer perisex people sad :(

Sometimes these dumbasses even go for triple, and call every transfem whose even vaguely supportive of trans men “pick mes” or “brainwashed puppets” or even “trans men in disguise”, because nothing says you’re supportive of trans women like a dose of transmisogyny!

I guess anyone who is proudly a bigot towards one group is probably gonna be a bigot to others, even if they try to pretend otherwise.

Makes em easy to block, though. One less dumbass on my dash, hope they figure their shit out bc god damn, it’s embarrassing to witness.

Do you ever notice how the majority of nonbinary characters are just straight up not human beings? The majority of our non-binary rep is inhuman, which shows how binary society still views us as a literal societal impossibility despite us being here, real people, on earth with them.

I feel like this feeds into the whole thing of enben being seen as like "eldritch horrors" or "other worldly." Even though it might be claimed to be only in jest, it still displays how we are implicitly seen as a human impossibility because of the pervasiveness of the gender binary in society. It's taught to us as "natural" and how "humans have always functioned" despite our modern bourgeois, patriarchal, white-supremacist gender binary originating as a tool of colonialism. That was very recent in anthropological history. (Also note how capitalism is intertwined with binary supremacy here.)

When you delve into this it's wild. It starts surface level but it reveals the core exorsexism and classism of the capitalist society for one, but how it permeates into jokes ("I can identify as an attack helicopter!" "Nonbinary people are little frogs/eldritch beings!"), representation (most nonbinary representation is of inhuman characters) and our legal status (inexistent, which means no civil rights or legal protection of any kind.)

On the topic of trans men experiencing erasure and other problems that are not talked about, we should probably talk about when we actually DO get recognized and it's usually the white skinny trans men who get the most recognition. Which, is awesome and I'm not complaining because getting any recognition is a win. But we need to start also having our black poc, asian, native, hispanic, etc brothers in mind if you have not done so already. They have been erased from history even more than us. The same goes for the fat plus size men, the men who don't pass either because they can't or just don't want to (which is valid!), the men who can't transition or feel comfortable in their agab body (which is also valid), the men who are femme presenting, the men who are butch, men who are disabled etc etc.

Listen to when your black poc, asian, hispanic, native, etc men SPEAK. Listen to them. Listen to the men who are severely underrepresented in our community. Don't you DARE tell them to sit down or shut them out when speaking up about their experiences as trans men. If you see it shut it down immediately! That toxic shit is not safe in our spaces and we will not be quiet about it.

Keep our brothers safe!