Bro I Need Someone Like This For My Talkative Ass.

"NO! YOU PEOPLE HAVE TO UNDERSTAND! THEY'RE REALLY FUCKING ANNOYING!!!! I CAN'T STAND THEM!"

You are a supervillain, and everyone was surprised when you declared another supervillain to be your arch nemesis instead of one of the heroes who constantly thwart your plans.

A resturant near where I live has Bob Roth on one TV all the time. I love watching him paint while eatting my pizza

Me: My mother war raped... (not true IRL) Hera: Oh dear! I'll kill the bastard! You and your mother are under my proctection forever, no one can hurt you Me: you swear on the river styx

Hera:yes Me: It was Zeus. I don't want him as my damn dad! I'd rather have Hades as my dad! Hera: .... you made me walk into that one. Looks like you'll live a happy life Me: I'll try to find a good husband, and if he cheats, sue him. Sue him so badly that he's in deep deby Hera: I like this kid

As one of Zeus bastard children, you are doomed to be targeted by Hera, however you found a way to get on the queens good side before she found out who your father is.

And in some states it's illegal to take a picture of someone without their consent

WHERE'S MY MONEY FISH! I'LL MAKE YOU INTO A DISH FOR THE CATS!

I want five hundred billion dollars and I want whoever reads this to have five hundred billion dollars

Villain: I have your child Father: Which one? Villain: Ummm... long brown hair and brown eyes. Chubby but not fat, mostly skinny but with chub. She's smiling at the floor for some reason. Father: Oh! That's my daughter Mikachu! Yeah you don't have her... she has you. HAVE FUN SWEEITE!

You were the only child that didn’t have powers in a family of metahumans. Today you got kidnapped by a supervillain… and none of your family came to the rescue.

Me:.... I wish to break my bone! Genin:...WHAT?!

Me:Now the person won't be hurt! YAY!!! *bone breaks in their leg* OW OW OW!! WORTH IT!!! OWWWW!!!!! Genin: *calls the genin's association* Yeah... umm... I got either the world's nicest person, or a crazy person.... Me: It's the second one! OOOOOWWW!

“I will grant you a wish. BUT… your gain will be someone else’s loss. If you want riches, someone will be stripped of theirs. If you want health, someone will fall ill. If you want love, someone will get their heart broken. And whatever you choose, that someone will know your name.”

Can I cook the shoe for you if it doesn't win?

apparently there's a sonic ship showdown on tw*tter rn, and I'll eat my left shoe if sonadow doesn't win

Wait go back to that last one- WHAT?!

Me in a Gru costume: And tonight... we steal.... THE MOON!!! Little kids dressed up as minions:*cheering loudly*

Today there is a solar eclipse set to cover the sun with 100% totality for a duration of 4 minutes, 28 seconds. However as time passes, the eclipse continues for 5 minutes, then 7, then 10. Half an hour passes but the moon has not moved and Earth remains in darkness