I Love How Most People Voted On The Second One. I Would've As Well But The Voting Already Ended

The princess who's a bade cook: "I would offer the muffins I made but....." *shows something that looks like if toxic waste and diarriha had a baby* . . . I don't think these are safe to eat, like, at all

"….Okay, are any of the dishes not poisoned?! Is there anyone at this feast who did not poison anything?!"

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my mom being able to quit smoking!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

"I wish I could.... But let me tell you this, not everyone tries to fit into that box. A lot of us are able to grow out of that box, and shove it somewhere else. Making sure, we don't ever fit in it again...."

“You humans confuse me. You try so very hard to be as boring as everybody else, and, when some gifted soul is born that has some small degree of uniqueness to it, you beat and break it until it fits into a dull little box that you can understand. Explain this to me, if you please.”

*speaking into the megaphones* YOU ARE NOT MATURE YA DUMB BITCH!!! (Just trying to be funny here. Sorry if I was rude)

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

Me: SO SOMEONE WAS ABLE TO GET IN HERE, LEAVE THIS, AND GET OUT?! WHY DIDN'T THEY TAKE ME?!

You’re stuck in a dungeon. you have been in here so long you don’t remember what crime you committed to be thrown in here. The kingdom has long since collapsed, and you’ve been stuck drinking the drips off the walls and eating the rats. One day you wake up to a surprise, a letter and the key.

They add to his design and I love them!!!

I gave Rise!Raph markings. That's the whole post. I know this has been done before and I'm not original, oh well lol

Me inside my head: Okay how the fuck is this possible?!

You are in court for murder, when your lawyer shows a video of a sports game with you in the audience and proves that you are innocent. However despite having the ticket and the claims of having gone to the game, you actually did commit the crime and have no idea what you just saw on the video.

Me: Do you really want to know? Alien: YES! Me: Okay.... *starts to talk about things wrong with the human race* And that's only what I know! Alien: *to her commander* Commander.... please make a therapy session for the entire planet Earth...

“Remember, if you die in the simulation-” “Yeah, yeah, we know, you die in real life.” “What? No! You need to reset the simulation with this terminal! What is WRONG with you humans?!”

This is beautiful.... T0T

Oh dear god Chrome..... I swear for chrismas I'm getting you something so that you don't end up cutting of blood cerculation from your arm with all those bracelets

kandi life