Makingsenseofwhathappened - Makingsenseofwhathappened

You get punished twice — once for what happened, and again for how you react.

Fred "touch me not" Gruber finally got let go after his third reprimand.

Dance of the Forest Nymphs by Warren B Davis

The Cost of Staying

Sometimes it’s not that you didn’t want the job.

It’s that you wanted it too much. And now you're floating down some corporate river. Toward the wrong end of The Waterfall (TM).

You worked too hard. Put up with too much. Got good at things you never thought you’d be good at. Found your rhythm. Found your people. Maybe even started to believe you belonged there.

And then it changed.

Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was always like this and you just finally let yourself admit that the cost was too high.

That staying meant watching someone else get away with it. That staying meant shrinking a little bit each day. That staying meant carrying your own silence like it was professionalism. Like it was maturity. Like it was strength.

But here’s the truth no one wants to put on a poster: Sometimes leaving is the only way to protect yourself.

And that doesn’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean you weren’t strong enough. It means the place wasn’t safe enough.

And maybe that’s not the ending you deserved, but it’s not the end of your story either (the waterfall).

born in the wrong skin, not wrong for me. wrong for them. targets, not flesh.

It wasn't a secret. It was a system.

Tree swallows.

Birds around New York city. 1942.

Internet Archive

...that famous Einstein quote about repeating stuff = insanity

slowly spiraling

The Cost of Staying

Sometimes it’s not that you didn’t want the job.

It’s that you wanted it too much.

You worked too hard. Put up with too much. Got good at things you never thought you’d be good at. Found your rhythm. Found your people. Maybe even started to believe you belonged there.

And then it changed.

Or maybe it didn’t. Maybe it was always like this and you just finally let yourself admit that the cost was too high.

That staying meant watching someone else get away with it. That staying meant shrinking a little bit each day. That staying meant carrying your own silence like it was professionalism. Like it was maturity. Like it was strength.

But here’s the truth no one wants to put on a poster: Sometimes leaving is the only way to protect yourself.

And that doesn’t mean you failed. It doesn’t mean you weren’t strong enough. It means the place wasn’t safe enough.

And maybe that’s not the ending you deserved, but it’s not the end of your story either.

Women In Tech: A Relatable Story?

Hey everyone, 

I'm a 31 F, working at an architectural design firm. I will keep this short because I am pretty upset and I know it will just turn into a big rant if I don't.  

I am newer there and lower level - junior designer slash BIM tech. But I have a degree and am frankly overqualified based on past experience and my skill set. We have a few Slack groups divided up by project, job and client. I'm on most of them because I am a newb, they have me bouncing all the time from thing to thing. So I get to see most of the messages across the company. 

It's almost all men. 30s to 50s. I am one of two women in the entire place other than cleaning staff. I almost didn't take the job because of that but I have a kid and student loans and can't not keep my pay at the level it was. 

My secondary work computer is a laptop and it was stolen a few weeks ago. It wasn't backed up so I lost a lot ofwork and had to redo it. It took a lot of extra time. This caused delays and a headache with two big clients and my project leads and boss have treated me like absolute shit ever since. 

After that the running joke on Slack about “diversity hires” has been getting out of control.Nobody has said they mean women specifically but all the details about what happened with me have been mentioned very clearly. The have gone as far as saying it's so sad how the company is “lowering the bar", that this is why the economy is so bad. 

The supervisors are on these threads too. They steer clear of that stuff but they don't stop the constant jabs either. Based on their treatment around the office I feel like they actually hate me. I can't go to them. The owner is the biggest douchebeg of them all. 

We are all contractors I think so there is no HR. It's "in the works" they tell me. 

The other woman I work with has become an ally and a friend through this and we want to get out of there but yeah we can't afford it. We want to resist. But there is nothing to do about it. Sick to my stomach of the backward slide things are taking, women are becoming second class citizens again.

Want to burn the place down. Nowhere else is hiring where I am.

Sorry if there are men on this thread I know you are not all the same but sorry sometimes it feels like you are.

I am so frustrated I want to scream.

Falling Through The Floor

I took the cheque home and folded it in half. Then again. Then again. Until it was a sharp little square I could press into my palm. It didn’t feel like money. It felt like silence.

The job was good. Rare these days for someone like me. And when he leaned too close and said too much - breath hot and stale with knowing - I only smiled.

Afterward, I kept working. Of course I did.

At the end of the week the cheque came, same as always. it felt heavier this time. Like hush money.

And I took it anyway. Because that’s what you do when the alternative is falling through the floor.

Some things you carry.

Some things carry you.

Ba Ghi Ri E De, Pueblo Indian woman carrying a water pot on her head. - Porter - 1907