The Cost Of Staying

It wasn't a secret. It was a system.

Tree swallows.

Birds around New York city. 1942.

Internet Archive

Given a choice between accepting that something awful has happened, or thinking that someone is mistaken, exaggerating, or lying, much of the time our brains will deny the awful thing happened.

Anxiety isn't drama...it's data.

Chiharu Shiota: Stairway (2012)

Muted Square in the Zoom

They didn’t say my name in the meeting. Not once. I was there and had written half the report.

The credit went around the table like a bottle passed hand to hand. I watched it skip over me.

At lunch, I sat with them. One of them asked me, “Are you new?”

I’ve been here fourteen months.

After a while, you stop correcting people. You stop reminding them that you’re part of it. You become good at inhabiting the background. Or a muted square in the Zoom.

But I’m still here. Still opening the spreadsheet. Still writing the copy. Still dressing up and disappearing.

They didn’t see me. But I saw everything.

They asked if I wanted to file a complaint. I said no I’m trying to stay employed, not enter The Hunger Games.

Fred "touch me not" Gruber finally got let go after his third reprimand.

Dance of the Forest Nymphs by Warren B Davis

"There must be satisfaction gained in accurately naming the thing that torments you."

-Miriam Toews

Just finished Women Talking (both the book by Miriam Toews and the movie by Sarah Polley) and I honestly don’t know how to describe it without using all caps. It’s probably the most clear-eyed thing I’ve ever seen about what it actually feels like to live in the aftermath of harassment. If you’ve ever felt like you were losing your mind trying to name something everyone else was fine ignoring I really highly recommend this rare artwork to you all.

Some people won’t believe you until you break. Break anyway, if you need to. You don’t owe anyone your composure.

If you work the day shift. JK I love work. Actually JK JK

influencers actively trying to convince young women to aspire to unemployment and servitude is literally so sinister