Hanging On By A Thread Waiting For You To Cut The Cord

No matter how hard I try Or the amount of willpower I manage to summon You will always be my weakness

It’s just nice to know once in a while you’re weak for me, too

As much as I long to hear it it eases my mind to realize the reason you can’t say you love me is because you do

When you avoid your feelings, you bury your passion

What is life without passion?

Chocolate is a health food. I bring her chocolate and I remain healthy.

Try not to think of me when you are alone

Try not to think of me when she won’t do those things for you

Try not to think of me when you are tired of forcing your round psyche into her square hole

Try not to think of me when you realize you can’t find happiness pretending to be someone you’re not

Try not to think of me because I am trying not to think of you

Try not to think of me

Regarding old relationships, most days I’m fine. I’ve come to terms with the loss and damage done and know all I can do is move forward and try to heal. Maybe some day even make myself that vulnerable again. I also recognize my part in my own pain and most of the time turn any anger or sadness inward. It is my fault I allowed it to happen over and over. I refused to learn my lesson, to protect my heart and soul even when I knew they were in danger of being crushed. 

But some days I just get so fucking angry seeing the things you say and share about how you wish for loving, accepting relationships. THAT WAS ME, YOU IGNORANT FUCK. Those things you claim you want? I gave all of it to you. I gave all of me to you. I gave more than I should have and more than you deserved.

Though I realize none of it is actually aimed my direction and that there were many factors as to why things happened the way they did, I can’t help it that I feel invalidated by the implication that you haven’t had someone in your life to give you these things when I was right by your side for years practically begging you to allow me. 

It’s dark in here Feeling my way through my feelings Like an ancient overgrown jungle labyrinth Sight stolen, hands outstretched Escape seems impossible And it only grows darker

There is more than one path to being a Good Human Being™