I Wonder If You Wonder What I Wonder

Chase me Not because I am worth the chase But because I believe I am not

I’m over you But I will never be over what we had

Please don't remember me fondly

Remember me as the one who held your heart so softly, the one who loved you without restraint even when your love for me was a tangled mess which took years to unravel

Remember my patience and devotion as I sat at your feet, then how you crushed them under your heel

Remember me with pangs of guilt and regret when you think on your habit of assuring me I was safe with you then abandoning me once again

Don't remember me fondly, remember you killed me

I changed my Facebook relationship status to in a relationship with Chocolate

Chocolate doesn’t forget to call or run away because it can’t handle how it feels about me

I am angry with you  But I am far more  disappointed in myself 

This is my fault

I let you in I showed you all my softest  most vulnerable bits I allowed myself to believe  you’d keep them safe

This is my fault

You break my heart   not because you don’t love me  But because you don’t love yourself

Try not to think of me when you are alone

Try not to think of me when she won’t do those things for you

Try not to think of me when you are tired of forcing your round psyche into her square hole

Try not to think of me when you realize you can’t find happiness pretending to be someone you’re not

Try not to think of me because I am trying not to think of you

Try not to think of me

Collected

You collect hearts    the way others collect shells Shiny hearts full of love    you are too scared to return Holding them to your ear    to admire the way they admire you Then back on display    until your ego needs another stroke There my heart sits in your display case,    dripping love and devotion Among the other trophies,    stolen by the heart collector