On The Bright Side, At Least My Debilitating Fear Of Abandonment Will Never Leave Me

Abusive parents will sometimes straight up accuse you of abusing them. Suddenly, you not being ‘nice enough’ is abuse, or you yelling back at them, or calling them out, or refusing to see and talk to them, or being angry and upset at the shit they do to you.  Your every reaction or feeling that they don’t like can be called abuse, they will shamelessly play at your guilt and convince you that you, in fact, have the power to abuse them, and are doing so every second you’re not doing and feeling exactly as you’re told.

This is nonsense, because between parent and a child, parent holds all the power. Parent decided weather the kid eats and sleeps that night, they decide what the child can own and what resources they can have, parent decides where the child lives and in what conditions, weather the child is loved or exposed to pain and abuse constantly, they can take away anything from the kid and often give themselves rights to order the kid around, just what power does the kid have? To mildly annoy the parent. While risking being abused and yelled at. Some kids might risk publicly embarrassing parents but even that only in situations where they wouldn’t be tortured for it back at home. Children don’t have absolutely anything except their ability to react, to feel pain, to be angry at injustice, to listen to instincts when they suggest that the parent is harmful and not to be trusted.

Refusing to talk to your parent is not abuse. Wanting to keep distance, yelling at them for disrespecting and hurting you, is not abuse. Calling them out, not liking or loving them, refusing to do as you’re told, having your own feelings and reactions that parents don’t like, is not abuse. It’s being a human being, and naturally struggling with the fact that your family member, who is responsible for you, who can decide everything in your life, doesn’t love or care for you. It’s devastating and if you deal with that by yelling and wanting them out of your sight, you have the right to that much. You have the right to more.

You’d only be able to abuse your parent in a situation where you own their place, all of their stuff, have control over their finances, can kick them out on the street or control their living situation, and you’re physically stronger than them and don’t care how much you hurt them. The exact opposite of that is true, for the vast majority of children, and even adults. Only abusive parents ever accuse their children of abusing them. Any normal, decent parent would never try to pass such utter nonsense to make you feel as if you’re doing to them what they’re doing to you, to make you feel guilty and confused and more easily controlled by them. You’re guilty of nothing.

final exams w mental illness be like

anxiety: if ur not doing work for every second of every day ur failing in school and at life in general

depression: stay in bed for 36 hours because there is no point in living anyways

“I’m numb and I’m tired. Too much has happened today. I feel as if I’d been out in a pounding rain for forty-eight hours without an umbrella or a coat. I’m soaked to the skin with emotion.”

— Ray Bradbury

I would like to get to know you. I would like to talk to you every day. I would like to know about your interests and hobbies. I would like to know everything about you. I would like to know you. I would like to be friends with you. I would like to be with you.

I would like // 12:26am (via heavenlythoughts)

Just because you have left that toxic situation, doesn’t mean you’re automatically healed and shouldn’t care anymore. It’s okay if you still care. Give it time to work through.

I wasn’t looking for anything at all when I met you. Actually, I wasn’t planning on falling for anyone so soon. But then I met you. And that was it…I guess things just happened. I found you and I found myself slowly wanting to spend time with you. It was simple. It was easy. And I think that’s how the best relationships begin. You’re not looking for anything and then suddenly you realize; you have something.

— I fell hard.

Okay controversy will come from this, but don’t tell your kids that they are eating too much unless they have to restrict their intake for some medical reason.

A kid will go back to refil their dinner plate and I’ll hear parents say “don’t you think that’s enough dinner for tonight?” Or “you shouldn’t eat that much food.”

Telling your kid that they’ve had too much food, or they shouldn’t eat that much can contribute to an eating disorder later in life.

Kids don’t go to refill their plates for fun, they do it because they are still hungry. They’re growing people! They need lots of food!

Me: *has talent*

Someone: *has talent too*

Me: Oh look I have been replaced

“You guys are dating right?” he asks. I shake my head in confusion. “No,” I answer. The answer hurts; physically and emotionally. He frowns. “But the way you guys look at each other…” I shake my head, smiling sadly.”

— excerpt from a story i’ll never write #7 // thewriterain

I miss you. But not the way you miss your family when you’re gone for some time. I miss you the way you miss the sun when it snows. The way you miss home when you’re on the road. That’s the way I miss you.