I’m Not Gonna Watch This For More Than An Hour 😍😍😍😍

i’m going to name my daughter casserole so then she’ll get the nickname cass and people will be like “oh, cass is short for cassandra, right?” and she will have to explain to them her name is casserole

I just died

I guess this proves that true friendship can only be achieved through scent-based marketing fights.

yea dude I drink a lot. Drink at parties all the time. yea you heard right, 9 capri suns. 9. in 45 minuets.

Can we romanticize video games the way we do books?

Like you hear all these things about how you can curl up with a book on a rainy day and drink tea and smother yourself in blankets but anytime you hear things about video games it’s always about how you’re wasting your life away yelling into a headset as you play Call of Duty in a basement?

Imagine bundling yourself up on the couch, the sound of rain hitting the roof, and putting on Fable for a few hours. Or getting home after a long day of work. You make yourself a cup of cocoa, put on fuzzy pjs, and play Viva Piñata for hours not giving a second thought to the outside world. Semester just got out? Throw on some Fallout and just take a night to breathe and enjoy.

You aren’t wasting your life away, you’re enjoying it. Games can be just as much an escape as books, except you get to be part of the story.

when your clothes order arrives and everything looks great and you don’t have to return anything 

My little secret.

image | twitter | facebook

What's your best example of correlation not equaling causation?

teacher, handing back my paper on feminism: this whole paper is plagiarized from a tumblr post…

me: OP was a fucking terf so i took it

teacher, crying: you are so fucking valid

Okay, I have a life hack for you.

Last week, I got attacked by the most painful and persistent hiccups of my life at work. My co-worker heard me hiccuping and said, absently, “Got the hiccups?” and I said miserably, “Yeah.” And she said, “Prove it.”

And I glared at her, because why the fuck should I prove anything to her? And I waited for the next hiccup, which would prove that she was a dick and that I was, indeed, suffering from hiccups. And… that hiccup never came. And she smirked and said, “My daughter calls me whenever she has hiccups and when I ask her to prove it, she never can.”

And that was weird. But later that night, I got hiccups AGAIN, so I said to my boyfriend, “I HAVE HICCUPS.” and he said “Yeah, you do.” And I said, “No, ask me to prove it.” And he gave me a look like I was a crazy person, and I hiccuped again and insisted he ask me to prove it and he did and BAM. I couldn’t do it!

And a few days LATER, I got the hiccups WHILE DRIVING ALONE, and I said, out loud, “DUDE, I have the hiccups.” And then, in another voice, “PROVE IT.” And bam. Couldn’t do it.

The moral of the story? Apparently hiccups are little shits who refuse to perform on command. 

There you go. Hiccup cure. I can’t promise it’ll work for everyone, but so far, it’s worked for me like six times.

You’re welcome.