Webkinz Predicted The Future

I also accidentally befriended a pro Widowmaker by the name of Belpheagor. She kept landing headshots on me and after like the 6th time I wrote in the chat, “Widow plz” because I know from prior experience that it tends to work. 

She wrote back, “Mercy I’m sorry, but I have to.” After that she only landed body shots on me, but she was definitely more hesitant to land any shots on me. 

Later, I was going around the back of the point to try and get to someone and I ran point blank into her. She stared at me through her scope for a few seconds; I “Hello!”ed to try and pull on her heartstrings. She shot the Pharah coming up behind me, gave me a look, and then grappled away. 

She wrote in the chat, “Did you see how I didn’t shoot you” and next thing I know I had a friend request from her.

so today i (sort of) had sex with this guy and i thought he cared about me and i was happy and it was intense and whatever but when i asked him how he felt about me he sort said like eh i don't really know and I'm really afraid i just gave this guy a really intimate piece of myself and he doesn't even really like me... the worst part is that i still really really like him

dude yeah i hate 2 b like this but most guys are like this and it is really shitty like boys suck

please reblog this if your blog is safe for asexuals

(an ace safe space)

Johnny Bravo is chad-passing

my sister is doing an essay for her finance course about bitcoin and her introduction is basically defining currency and equal payments.

so i told her to add alchemy’s first law of equivalent exchange. she just sent me the essay to look over it and

she fucking did.

me: *eating microwaved ramen noodles and watching kitchen nightmares* cannot believe this asshole didnt use fresh chicken in his paella, unbelievable