APPARENTLY PEOPLE NOT USING THE CROSSWALK TO CROSS THE ROAD BY MY SCHOOL HAS BEEN A PROBLEM RECENTLY

tfw you are with two friends who are closer to each other than to you

God, Tolkien naming his book “The Hobbit” was such a big dick move. Like, back then people didn’t know what a hobbit was. It’d be like if I released a book called “The Smarple” and 50 years later everyone just knew what a smarple was.

when you’re so sleep-deprived that you don’t even feel tired anymore

would u rather eat a pound of bricks or a matter baby??

Process of Dawn

I love good bread. Like flat bread???? Bitch! Then the bread that’s hard on the outside but soft in the inside….with the fucking butter?????…..bitch…………

Do you ever hear someone say something about your field of interest that is wrong and you have to stop yourself from physically cringing but you gotta stay strong and cool cause you don’t wanna be ‘That NerdTM’?

I always thought it was funny that your player character in Pokemon is 10 years old. Like, yeah, they’re “anime ten” where they look at least 18 yadda yadda, but they’re still ten.

Imagine the people in the Pokemon League. These are fully grown adults, right? They’ve trained their entire lives to be the best trainers in their country. They’re the best of the best. And then a ten year old walks in. A high and mighty four foot tall ten year old with a big smile on their face walks in. They’ve never even seen a tity. They don’t know where babies come from. They’re ten.

How did this ten year old get in to your arena? Did they wander in here by mistake? They say they’re here to battle you. Aww, how cute. This kid wants to fight the big league trainers, so they snuck in to fight you. That’s cute and funny. You’ll tell the others about this next lunch break. You decide to humor the kid and accept their challenge. You toss out your level 50 Tyranitar. You and this Pokemon have spent decades together, you trained for ages to get it to Level 50. You’re the best trainer in the country.

The kid reaches on their belt and tosses a Master Ball. Wait, what? A Master Ball? How did that kid get a Master Ball? Out of the master ball pops…

God.

God popped out of the Master Ball. 

The very same God Pokemon that controls the flow of space, that you go to church and pray to every Sunday. 

This ten year old kid just pulled out a Master Ball and threw God at you. God is, in fact, Level 73. 

God shoots Hyper Beam at your life-long partner Tyranitar, causing it to evaporate in to dust. He’s fainted in one hit. The kid yawns.

The kid wipes your entire party of Pokemon, the Pokemon you spent most of your adult life training and caring for. You are stunned. You ask the trainer how long they’ve been doing this. They say “I started a couple of days ago.”

This kid is ten. 

Personally, I’m looking forward to reading the article about how Millennials killed the NRA

I’m looking forward to reading the article about how the government took away our rights to free speech because they’re the only ones with guns.