Tfw You Are With Two Friends Who Are Closer To Each Other Than To You

My friend scared trick-or-treaters from his porch on Halloween and filmed it on a GoPro. But he never intended this.

> Chasing after the kids with outstretched arms probably isn’t the best way to calm them down.

> You can hear his heart beat rise from 96 to 168 bpm.

> Candy, candy, chips, chips, chips. Fantastic.

> I want to know what kind of jokes Uncle Pete plays on this family.

> These kids knew how to get every last one of those chip bags.

> Probably didn’t help when the mother yells, “OH MY GOD, HE’S REAL!”.

> “Remember how uncle Pete jokes around?” Every family has an uncle Pete

on “cringe” hobbies

1. you don’t get to choose how other people have fun.

2. reread item 1.

3. shut up.

Meanwhile in Russia

ive played this maybe 30 times

*clears throat* if i looked you up in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of cute- *coughs* i mean, um, if i looked up dictionary in cute, there’d- no, i meant *shuffles cards* if you looked cute up in the dictionary, there’d be a picture of me- *drops cards* i, uh *flusters* the, um *panics* the dictionary thinks you’re cute

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”