Don’t Ever Talk To Me Or My Sons Ever Again…

Dear Amazon

I’ve run out of content to look at on here, would appreciate if you goons got to work. Thanks.

When my alarm goes off in the morning

Trying to jump into Kingdom Hearts 3 like

whenever i see a baby in public i wish i were like a powerful faerie god mother character who could give the baby a gift like “you’ll never get a cold” or “math will always make sense to you” or something like bein’ great with string instruments but I don’t have any powers that I know of but it doesn’t stop me from trying so every time I see a baby in public I tell the adult with it “what a beautiful baby” and it makes them smile and then I pretend I can take the goodness of their smile and I look at the baby and I think very hard “you will have a good life, even if it’s hard, you will end up happy” and I’m just hopin’ the magic kicks in at some point

what the fuck this is next level shit

there’s a ton of shit you can get in life if you’re willing to submit yourself to the mortifying horror of asking for it.

i think having a spiderman costume as a kid is a universal experience and THAT is toby ma fucking guire’s influence