Disabled Princesses And Disabled Superheroes Are So Important Where The Fuck Are They

your husband seems like a dick kill him. also does ghosts still exist?

he is a dick and killing him is on my list, but he’s attractive so i’m going to get one more kid out of him

i’m not sure on the ghost front, i guess we’ll find out after i kill my husband and put his gravestone in my backyard 

I had to pee really bad and o forgot that I had just sliced jalapeño peppers and the chef is looking nice at me weird because I’m pouring milk on a rag and running to the bathroom

“Punching Nazis is good, actually,” is the foundation of almost all American and European genre pop culture from 1932 to 2016, and suddenly people have forgotten that. Have these people never heard of Captain America? Seen a Star War? Read a Harry Potter?

Woah this is actually accurate to me.... wait never mind I relate to most of them.

the signs & their downfall

Aries- temperamental / impulsive Taurus- lovesick  Gemini- lack of stability Cancer- inability to let go Leo- either arrogance or insecurity Virgo- obsession with perfection Libra- intense desire to please  Scorpio- inability to be vulnerable Sagittarius- lack of empathy  Capricorn- stubborn / rigid  Aquarius- god complex Pisces- playing the martyr

There is still good in him

Arizona only adopted MLK Day when threatened with no Super Bowls

one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony” 

and then “what if his last name was award”

and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”

emmy, tony, and oscar award