I Had To Pee Really Bad And O Forgot That I Had Just Sliced Jalapeño Peppers And The Chef Is Looking

It appears that new hair sty– Er… tentacle styles have emerged in Inkling culture. Curly punk pig tails, spikehawks, glossy straight hair, and modern bowl cuts will be available on Thursday, November 23rd. Why not try a new style this fall?

one of my favorite threats is “youre not invited to my birthday party anymore”.

from ages 4 to 11 its one of the most heinous things you can say, then 12 through 17 its just embarassing cuz teenz think that thats a childish thing to say, but from 18 onward, it only gets more and more effective, if only because it confuses the person youre speaking to.

its like a verbal smoke bomb. it catches them off guard and disorients them to the point that they might not even know how to react.

god I’m absolutely going to hell I’m sorry guys 

I was at my friend’s engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I don’t drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread from the basket on the table and just tapped it against people’s glasses like it was a legitimate beverage instead of a wheat byproduct 

and one of my friends was like ‘ho what in god’s name are you doing’ 

and I didn’t know how to say I would rather slice of my own foot than drink tequila so I just held my bread up and said ‘I’m toasting’ 

and in that moment I felt my soul descend directly into the eighteenth circle of hell

Rule

Filming of the Pilot (♦&♦)